Barnaby Howarth – Sometimes Stuff Just Works Out For You

Barnaby Howarth
Join us for an insightful conversation with Barnaby Howarth, whose journey from the Australian Football League to becoming a beacon of resilience and hope is both inspiring and instructive. Tune in as Barnaby shares valuable life and career lessons on overcoming adversity and finding strength in vulnerability. Hosted by Robert Hossary

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About Barnaby Howarth

Former AFL footballer, diabetic, host of interview show “Everyday Greatness”, stroke survivor, autocue operator for ABC News Australia, widower and Deacon in the Coptic Orthodox church, Barnaby Howarth has been a resilience speaker for over a decade, telling audiences to try their hardest and be proud of themselves.
Barnaby is a real human being living the messages he promotes to audiences – His message that just being a good, solid human being is enough to live a life you are proud of is a real point of difference in today’s ever competitive world Barnaby has spoken all around the world to all sorts of groups and organisations.

Episode Notes

Lesson 1: Rain falls on the just. As in the I’m just like, but there comes a time when you just have to get over it and go and play in the puddles. 04:42
Lesson 2: Focus on the game plan, and the result will take care of itself. 07:56
Lesson 3: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. 10:35
Lesson 4: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. 15:49
Lesson 5: Work hard, be good to people. 18:48
Lesson 6: If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well. 21:37
Lesson 7: You are better off, knowing a little bit about a lot of things than a lot about a small number of things. 24:55
Lesson 8: Sometimes shit just works out for you. 27:39
Lesson 9: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. 30:10
Lesson 10: Don’t be a dickhead. 31:23

Barnaby Howarth – Sometimes Stuff Just Works Out For You

[00:00:08] Robert Hossary: Hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, where we talk to leaders and luminaries from all over the world to dispense their wisdom for your career, business, and life, in order to make the world a little wiser. Lesson by lesson. My name is Robert Hossary and I’m your host for this episode.
[00:00:27] Robert Hossary: Today’s guest is Barnaby Howarth, a former AFL footballer, diabetic, host of the interview a w show, Everyday Greatness, stroke survivor, auto cue operator for the ABC News Australia, which is a very weird thing to put in your, bio-Barnaby, but okay. A widower and a deacon of the Coptic Orthodox Church. Barnaby Howarth has been a resilience speaker for over a decade, telling audiences to try their hardest to be proud of themselves. Barnaby is a real human being living the messages he promotes to his audiences. His message. That just being a good, solid human being is enough to live a life that you’re proud of is a real point of difference in today’s competitive world. Barnaby has spoken all over the world to all sorts of groups and organizations and he is with us today. Welcome Barnaby.
[00:01:29] Barnaby Howarth: Thank you, Robert. Good to be here.
[00:01:30] Robert Hossary: So, you say, for our international audience, let’s just go back a step. For our international audience, could you tell them what an AFL footballer is?
[00:01:41] Barnaby Howarth: Certainly. So, AFL is the professional, well, one of the professional sports in Australia. It’s the one where they run ridiculous amounts of kilometers every game. they tackle, they fall over, have to get back up and sprint again. and it goes for about three hours. So, it’s a, it’s a huge, it’s usually athletically draining and demanding sport.
[00:02:03] Barnaby Howarth: but probably the most enjoyable to play and to watch in the world.
[00:02:07] Robert Hossary: Yeah, it’s been, it’s been referred to as aerial ballet. Some of the, some Of
[00:02:13] Robert Hossary: the moves, our AFL footballers, have to do to get a ball to score a goal has been described to me as aerial ballet.
[00:02:22] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. A lot of people call it ariel ping pong as well.
[00:02:26] Barnaby Howarth: The tight shorts game.
[00:02:28] Robert Hossary: Yes, that’s the other thing. Very tight shorts for some strange reason, unlike a lot of other sports, but okay, I’ll just let that one slide. So, tell me Barnaby, before we get started on your, 10 lessons, is there a lesson that you would have wanted to tell yourself when you were 30?
[00:02:48] Barnaby Howarth: Yes, very much so. I would have liked to have known you’ve got this. I think as a kid you’re just so anxious and nervous and worried that You need something extra. Everybody else just seems to have it. They seem to have this superpower. And I felt like for my whole life, well, for my whole young life, I was missing it.
[00:03:07] Barnaby Howarth: And that’s the one thing I would have liked someone to tell me that everybody out there you see is just faking it till they make it. You’ve got this, you’re fine.
[00:03:15] Robert Hossary: Is that something that you would most kids get from family and friends and their parents, or is that, you’re talking about an internal confidence?
[00:03:25] Barnaby Howarth: yeah, the internal stuff. I think,
[00:03:26] Barnaby Howarth: when I was growing up, I was told that if you’re not certain about something, look confident, because confident people get jobs and confident people get this and confident people get that. So, everybody around me looked confident and I thought, oh, bloody hell, these guys have got something.
[00:03:43] Barnaby Howarth: I don’t know what it is, but they’ve got something, and I don’t. So internally I was freaking out, but externally I was looking confident as well. So, I was just adding to the societal problems.
[00:03:53] Robert Hossary: yeah,
[00:03:54] Robert Hossary: No, I, I get what you’re saying. And I agree with you. If we had that internal confidence, knowing that it’s going to be okay. You got this. Yeah, that’s a, that’s actually a very good lesson. The first time someone put that or point forward and the more I’m thinking about it, the more I agree with it. All right, Barnaby. Well, let’s get on with your 10 lessons. and I appreciate you. sharing these with me and to our audience. This is probably the first time that I have seen so many lessons. come from a family background, and you’ll understand that as we go through the lessons, but some of these are, so spot on and can only be told by internal family members.
[00:04:39] Robert Hossary: You can only learn them from internal family.

[00:04:42] Lesson 1: Rain falls on the just. As in, I’m just like. but there comes a time when you just have to get over it and go and play in the puddles.

[00:04:42] Robert Hossary: So, let’s start with lesson number one, which is, something that you’ve come up with, Barnaby, this is your lesson. Rain falls on the just, as in, I’m just like, but there comes a time when you just have to get over it, go out and play in the puddles.
[00:05:01] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, this actually fell on me. So, it came from a necessity. After I had my stroke, I was back to, I’d come to grips with my place in the world and that self-confidence thing we talked about earlier. But after the stroke, I was back to square one. I couldn’t stand still. I was, my balance was so bad. I couldn’t use my left side and I thought I needed that mystical superpower.
[00:05:24] Barnaby Howarth: So, I had to work really hard and just wasn’t seeming to get results. And there were times where I thought I felt pretty flat about my place in the world, but I had to sum up why I had the stroke and was it fate and was it something I’d done earlier in the past or in another life And my whole justification of all that was that, you know what, rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, but you just got to get over it and go and play in the puddles.
[00:05:52] Barnaby Howarth: Like good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. You’ve got to keep going and get on with it. Am I allowed to swear on this show, Robert?
[00:06:00] Robert Hossary: Yes, Barnaby, you are.
[00:06:01] Barnaby Howarth: It’s a very delayed, response, but
[00:06:04] Robert Hossary: Oh no, because I was, I was, I was trying to be clever and I was going to swear as well, but, but just let it go.
[00:06:10] Barnaby Howarth: So, it’s basically the saying is basically shit happens.
[00:06:14] Robert Hossary: Shit happens.
[00:06:15] Barnaby Howarth: Bad stuff happens, and you just got to get up and keep moving.
[00:06:18] Robert Hossary: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you’re absolutely right. It takes people such a long time to learn such a simple lesson.
[00:06:28] Barnaby Howarth: Mm,
[00:06:28] Robert Hossary: And I don’t understand why. And it took, you know, and I’m one of those people. It took me a long time to realize that shit happens.
[00:06:37] Robert Hossary: Just, just get on with
[00:06:39] Barnaby Howarth: Mm-Hmm?
[00:06:40] Robert Hossary: You know, but in your case though, it’s not a, it’s not a case that you, you know, dropped a glass of wine. I mean You had a stroke which made you, made your entire, changed your entire life and the entire way you approach your life. And yet, yet you are probably one of the most inspirational People I’ve ever met, you’re happy, because you live that philosophy.
[00:07:08] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, stop it. yeah, look, I thank you for saying it, but I, like you said about my lessons coming from my family, everything I learned comes from my family and I don’t get up on a soapbox and beat my chest and say, follow my simple five-point plan. I guarantee you’ll find success. You do a lot of things that you think will bring success and they don’t, but don’t get downhearted and confused by it. Just get up and try something different.
[00:07:34] Barnaby Howarth: I couldn’t not live my messages cause I, I really believe in them. And I really frustrated, frustrates me when I see people blowing their own trumpet about certain things and then finding out they’ve got no idea what they’re talking about.
[00:07:46] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yes. I’m sorry to, yeah, I, I just, I see that every day and I couldn’t agree. I couldn’t agree more.

[00:07:56] Lesson 2: Focus on the game plan, and the result will take care of itself.

[00:07:56] Robert Hossary: All right. Barnaby, let’s, move on to lesson number two, because this is something that as a strategist is so important. lesson number two, focus on the game plan and the result will take care of itself.
[00:08:10] Robert Hossary: Now, this was from a former AFL club coach of yours.
[00:08:15] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. This is one of my favourite sayings. So, this wasn’t told as life advice, it was told as a way of winning football games.so the explanation was basically just concentrate on your next tackle, your next kick, your next marking contest. And if we win the game, that’s just a result of how hard you work on each individual, scenario.
[00:08:34] Barnaby Howarth: So, I partway through my stroke, I was getting some good results and feeling pretty good about who I was and where I was going. And it dawned on me that I was just doing exactly what my old footy coach said. I wasn’t worried about, like I wasn’t wallowing in self-pity and looking in the mirror and wondering where I was going to be in five years because that was really daunting.
[00:08:54] Barnaby Howarth: I just thought, right, well today I’ve got to do occupational therapy, physiotherapy and speech therapy. I’m going to do those and do them bloody well. And then where I am in five years’ time will take care of itself. And I, I found that’s, for me, that’s been a way of. I’ve never had any mental issues. I’ve had some pretty dark situations I’ve been in, but I haven’t had any lingering mental issues because of it.
[00:09:19] Barnaby Howarth: And I think it’s because of that, because I don’t stress about what the result of this particular action is going to be. I just do the action as well as I can. The result will be the result when it turns up.
[00:09:31] Robert Hossary: Again, when you overlay everything, you’ve gone through and we haven’t even begun to discuss it, we’ve only spoken about your stroke. I’ve mentioned that in your bio,
[00:09:42] Robert Hossary: I, in your intro, I mentioned the diabetes, but when you start piling all of these things on, then. I think our audience by the end of this will feel the way I feel, very inspired by you and take your lessons and try and live them because they are what it’s all about. If you start worrying about every single little thing, you’re never going to, you’re never going to get to tomorrow.
[00:10:12] Robert Hossary: You’re just going to be mired down in the crap that’s today. But you, you just said it well, you do what you need to do. You do it as well as you can do it and you move on.
[00:10:24] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. If it doesn’t work, shrug your shoulders. So what?
[00:10:28] Barnaby Howarth: Rain falls on the just the own, just alike.
[00:10:31] Robert Hossary: there you go. And all the lessons are tied into each other.
[00:10:35] Barnaby Howarth: go. Mm-Hmm.

[00:10:35] Lesson 3: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

[00:10:35] Robert Hossary: All right, Barnaby, lesson number three. Now, okay. This one is from one of your heroes, I suppose, a book that you’ve read and the lesson you’ve learned from it. Okay. Lesson number three, he who has a why to live can bear almost anyhow. I, and that’s from, Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. And I’m a great believer in the why. If you understand your why, if you know the why, you can do anything. tell me what this means to you, Barnaby.
[00:11:11] Barnaby Howarth: So, I read Man’s Search for meaning while I was traveling overseas solo when I was 18, 19 years old and I was in a really impressionable part of life, time of life. I wasn’t sure my place in the universe. Was I good enough to do what I wanted to do? so I was really uncertain. And I read that, and that one line made me realize, far out.
[00:11:37] Barnaby Howarth: And that’s, that’s the line that helped me realize that, you know, sometimes you’ve got to play in the puddles and don’t take life too seriously. If you’ve got good people around you, you’ve got good things to live for, then there’s no need to worry about the rest of it. If you get stuck in a traffic light and you’re late for work or you, you don’t have the type of cereal you normally like each morning, you just got to get over certain things.
[00:11:59] Barnaby Howarth: So that, that line, for me, that was similar to what you’re saying about my story. Victor Frankl was in a concentration camp. He was, like, he was seeing the horrors of world history all around him every day. And his reason for writing that line was that he said, you could see in people’s eyes, if people had a why to live for, you could see the strength glisten in their eyes, and they’d get through it.
[00:12:25] Barnaby Howarth: If they didn’t have a why to live for, they had nothing to get out for on the other side. He said, I literally saw them just drop dead, which is a horrible thing to hear. But for him to be able to write that from where he was, just amazed me. I thought, well, that gives me the view that I don’t have a lot to complain about.
[00:12:45] Barnaby Howarth: Like I’ve had a stroke, I’ve got diabetes. I lost my wife to breast cancer, but you know, rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, shit happens.
[00:12:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah Shit, happens.
[00:12:54] Robert Hossary: but what I’m noticing with you, and you haven’t put this in any of your lessons, but I’ve noticed this, in our interactions, I’ve noticed it with these anecdotes that you’re sharing with us, is you’re grateful. You’re grateful for what you’ve got.
[00:13:10] Barnaby Howarth: very much so. I am, you’re right. I don’t feel like I need to go and do affirmations in the mirror and write down what I’m grateful for. I just am grateful internally. It gives me an internal strength.
[00:13:25] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:13:25] Barnaby Howarth: knowing the great people, the great family I was brought up in, the great
[00:13:29] Robert Hossary: And the
[00:13:30] Barnaby Howarth: I have in my life.
[00:13:31] Robert Hossary: the memories that you’ve had, that you’ve shared with people who may or may not still be with you, you’re grateful.
[00:13:39] Robert Hossary: I can feel that. I can see it. And, to our audience, I’m going to say Barnaby is, the example of what your life can be if you are, if you have gratitude for everything that you, you have and everything that you’ve gone through. If you’re pissing and moaning about stuff that, you know, you didn’t get, then you’re on the wrong path. In my opinion, it’s just my opinion, but when I’m surrounded with people like Barnaby, who basically affirm my philosophies, then it just makes me feel as though I’m on the right path, because I’m doing that.
[00:14:20] Robert Hossary: I’m grateful for everything I’ve got. and I’m grateful for knowing all these wonderful guests that come through 10 Lessons like Barnaby. So, think about that, if you don’t have your why. Then maybe you should slow down and try and find it, try and understand why things are happening. And then all of a sudden, you’ll find yourself being grateful for what you’ve got and, and the people around you. Again, this is just my opinion, but I can see Barnaby that you’re not disputing that.
[00:14:55] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, look, I actually have a, a theory that supports it.
[00:14:59] Robert Hossary: Yep.
[00:15:00] Barnaby Howarth: everybody has a spark, a one, one subject that just gets them fired up and gets them talking and excited. And I think I’ve, I’ve often found that I put it as a challenge to myself when I’m talking to a stranger just to find their spark. If people say, oh, just be careful of this guy or this girl, she’s really boring.
[00:15:18] Barnaby Howarth: I’ll make a point of going over and just chatting and trying to find what that spark is. You ask enough questions. Eventually the spark comes out. So the same if you’re personally struggling to find your why, keep asking questions, go and, you know, go and talk to your neighbours, go and, go to the shops, go for walks, find, go to the beach, go and find different things that you haven’t done for a while and you’ll find your own spark.
[00:15:41] Robert Hossary: That’s a, that’s a wonderful sentiment. You’ll go and find your own spark. I like that, Barnaby. I like that very much.

[00:15:49] Lesson 4: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.

[00:15:49] Robert Hossary: Okay, Let’s go to another nonfamily member, who’s given you some insight and, taught you a lesson. lesson number four. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. Want to tell us who that is?
[00:16:06] Barnaby Howarth: That is the great Nelson Mandela. So, this one came about, I, with that fake it till you make it attitude, I saw a lot of people Who wouldn’t try new things because they were scared of the result and what people might have thought of them if they did. And, but this Nelson Mandela line just says, get out and give life a crack.
[00:16:27] Barnaby Howarth: Bravery isn’t just going, oh, you know what? I’m going to go skydiving or jump off a cliff or do something life threatening and just close my eyes and do it. That’s not bravery. Bravery is saying something you want to try, but you’re not sure how you’re going to go at it. But grabbing that fear by the collar, looking dead in his eye and saying, you know what, I’m freaking out right now, but I’m going to give this thing a crack.
[00:16:48] Barnaby Howarth: And it doesn’t need to be a big, a big, action-adventure sort of scenario. It can be standup comedy, karaoke. Going and talking to someone, going and telling a girl or a guy you like them, going and asking them out on a date. That’s
[00:17:01] Robert Hossary: could be changing, changing jobs.
[00:17:03] Barnaby Howarth: Exactly. Yeah. That’s real bravery. And I love that line for that reason.
[00:17:07] Robert Hossary: That’s so true. And, you know, this might sound simple to a lot of our audience, but I’ll, I will, Ask you to do this, whether you’re watching this on YouTube, whether you’re listening to it in your car or on a podcast, rewind, play this lesson again, and listen to what Barnaby says and listen to what Barnaby says.
[00:17:29] Robert Hossary: Don’t just hear the words because bravery is doing something makes you afraid. Something that fills you with fear and it doesn’t have to be life threatening and generally they aren’t. Changing your job is not life threatening but it, it fills you with dread. So, I would really strongly advise you to rewind this lesson, listen to it again, and really hear what Barnaby says. Now this is wonderful Barnaby, that is a very powerful and often forgotten, I suppose, skill that we have.
[00:18:11] Robert Hossary: to face our fears.
[00:18:14] Barnaby Howarth: And on the other side, the, the rewards of doing so is so much more valuable than the rewards of Jumping out of a plane, you get that instant buzz and that feeling, it was really adrenaline rush, but doing something you’re scared of gives you a, like a self-confidence for a long period of time that’ll be with you at the back of your mind when you face something that is actually scary.
[00:18:38] Barnaby Howarth: You just shrug your shoulders and say, I can do this.
[00:18:41] Robert Hossary: Yep. It’s that sense of accomplishment that builds that confidence. Absolutely. Fantastic.

[00:18:48] Lesson 5: Work hard, be good to people.

[00:18:48] Robert Hossary: All right, let’s move on to lesson number five. So, lesson number five, very simple, Barnaby, but, still powerful. A lot of your lessons are very simple, but powerful. Lesson number five, work hard. Be good to people.
[00:19:03] Barnaby Howarth: This actually, this is something I’ve, I’ve used my whole life, but it came back when I met up with a neighbour. So, our, our childhood neighbours, we were as good of friends as 10-year-old kids can be, but we went and had a beer the other night in North Sydney. And we’re talking about her father who just passed.
[00:19:23] Barnaby Howarth: She was talking really fondly of him, like, like you and I are talking. She was really excited about her father and the lessons he passed on to her. And she said, the best lesson he passed on to me, work hard, be good to people. And I thought, that’s so true. People make life really complicated.
[00:19:39] Barnaby Howarth: Make it a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But when you just come back to the simple things, work hard, be good to people, it’s not rocket science. It’s really hard to fail. If that’s, if that’s your goal, it’s really hard to fail. If your goal is to buy three houses in 12 months or get a job that pays 250, 000 a year, that’s hard and that can quite easily come with failure, but work hard, be good to people.
[00:20:03] Barnaby Howarth: It’s one of the easiest things you can do and the rewards of doing it. Are so much more valuable and self-assuring than anything else.
[00:20:11] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I, I, I agree. I’m reminded of my, of my ex-father-in-Law, who was just a, a wonderful gentleman, and that that’s what he did. He worked hard. He was good to people, and people loved him,
[00:20:25] Barnaby Howarth: Yep.
[00:20:26] Robert Hossary: and it’s, you still feel fondly about him. My, my children love their grandpa. They still do, and he’s been gone years now,
[00:20:35] Barnaby Howarth: Mmm.
[00:20:36] Robert Hossary: the memories and the lessons that are shared. from people like that who do work hard, who are good to people, as you said, it’s not a hard thing to do.
[00:20:49] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:20:49] Robert Hossary: And it’s, it’s a powerful, powerful lesson. No, I love it. thank you for sharing that.

[00:20:56] Affiliate Break

[00:20:56] Robert Hossary: I’d like to take a little break now and thank our affiliate partner Audible. Audible is an amazing way to consume 10 Lessons Learned and other podcasts, allowing you to build a library of knowledge all in the one place, to start your free 30 day. Trial. You can go to audibletrial.com/10lessonslearned with Audible, you can find your favourite lessons at home or on the go. Once again, that’s audibletrial.com/10lessonslearned. The link will be in the show notes.
[00:21:30] Robert Hossary: Our guest today is Barnaby. How. He’s a resilience speaker, a host and a mentor.

[00:21:37] Lesson 6: If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

[00:21:37] Robert Hossary: Barnaby, let’s get on to lesson number six. Now this one, this is where the family comes in
[00:21:44] Robert Hossary: now. So, lesson number six is from your father, Ross Howarth. So, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. Now we hear this, people would say, well, that’s a cliche Barnaby, but I’m sure you have a story behind this.
[00:22:02] Barnaby Howarth: It is a cliche. most of the, the men, in my life, my father, his father, my mum’s father. We’re all just work hard, be good to people. If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. So old school Australian blokes. And as I’ve got older, I’m now 44, but as I’ve got older, I’ve seen a lot of people know these sayings, like, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, but they’re just slack.
[00:22:27] Barnaby Howarth: They just do a shitty job and do it as quickly as they can and move on to the next thing. But every time I’m doing something, I can actually hear my father in the back of my head saying, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I’ll do something quickly and think that’s good enough. And then I’ll hear him go, is it really?
[00:22:44] Barnaby Howarth: So, I’ll jump back in and finish it off properly. But I think that it just, it’s such a mentality of, of who you are as a human being, just taking a bit of pride in your performance and, There are pride in what you look like, pride in how you treat people, all that old school stuff that has no tangible result.
[00:23:02] Barnaby Howarth: So many people are after tangible things, houses, cars, clothes, handbags, and they think the only way to get those things is to be ruthless. This my father’s advice and a lot of the family advice is just about, pardon the swearing again, but just not being a dickhead. Just working hard, being good to people, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.
[00:23:24] Barnaby Howarth: So, I’d say that’s a long story and a long explanation, but
[00:23:27] Robert Hossary: No,
[00:23:28] Barnaby Howarth: where it comes from.
[00:23:29] Robert Hossary: That is absolutely perfect, because in a few, a few episodes, I’ve had to remind people that these lessons, while the upcoming younger leaders might not have heard of them,
[00:23:44] Robert Hossary: may never have heard these things, there’s also, our responsibility is also to remind the older generation to remember these things.
[00:23:52] Barnaby Howarth: hmm,
[00:23:52] Robert Hossary: And you’re, you’re right. A lot of people have forgotten that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, do the job once.
[00:24:00] Barnaby Howarth: yep,
[00:24:01] Robert Hossary: If you do it well, it’s done. And then you can move on. if you do a half assed job, what’s going to happen is you’re going to have to redo it.
[00:24:10] Robert Hossary: What a waste of your time. What a waste of every resource at your disposal. This is stupid. So, I agree with you, Barnaby, and you know, it’s good to reinforce. These lessons,
[00:24:23] Robert Hossary: because a lot of people forget.
[00:24:27] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:24:28] Robert Hossary: You know, it’s not that they have never heard it, or they don’t understand it, they forget. And they forget the importance of it, not the words, they remember the words, but they forget exactly what you just said, the importance of them. Now, I, I’m with you Barnaby, and if a job is worth doing people, it’s worth doing well.
[00:24:47] Barnaby Howarth: Do it once, do it right, is the other one he used to say.
[00:24:50] Robert Hossary: Yeah, I, I remember that one too, but it’s so true.

[00:24:55] Lesson 7: You are better off, knowing a little bit about a lot of things then a lot about a small number of things.

[00:24:55] Robert Hossary: All right, so, that was your dad,
[00:24:58] Robert Hossary: now let’s go to your mum. Lesson number seven. You are better off knowing a little bit about a lot of things than a lot about a small number of things.
[00:25:09] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. So, this comes back to the conversation we had about finding a person’s spark. So my mother takes great pride in being able to walk into any room and just chat to anybody, not, it doesn’t have to be a deep lifelong friendship, but just an interesting chat to a person rather than just walk in, go and get a drink and stand in the corner by yourself.
[00:25:30] Barnaby Howarth: And I’ve always thought that’s the way to go. it’s, it’s sparked some incredible friendships. it’s given me some incredible learning opportunities. If you just go and speak to people, find a couple of little points of interest that they respond to, Most people will be nervous if they see a stranger come and start a conversation, but if you can find a point of commonality Then you’ll unlock a conversation n and that person might spill some really incredible information or they might be the one person you’re looking for.
[00:26:00] Barnaby Howarth: You might have a task you need solved in your business or your life in general. They might be the one person that works in that particular field and can help you out. So, the amount of times that just flat-out coincidences happen in my life, I think is A, really rewarding, but B, comes about because of this advice from my mother.
[00:26:20] Barnaby Howarth: So, if you, if you just put your head in the sand and only think about your world, then it’s a pretty lonely place. But if you’ve, you know, if you just pay attention when you’re watching the news, read a couple of books, go and see some movies. Then you can chat to most people about most things and go and do random stuff.
[00:26:39] Barnaby Howarth: Go and watch standup comedy. Go to a car race, go to a surf lifesaving competition, things you’d never think would be interesting. And they may not be, they may be flat out boring, but you’ll, you’ll pick things up that you didn’t know before and be able to talk to people you weren’t able to talk to before.
[00:26:55] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I do, subscribe to, to that. being a generalist in business is, and it’s the same. If you compare it to business, being a generalist in business means that you can do more. You cover more than being that specialist that just knows about your own job. So, the same thing goes in life. And it also helps you being a better person as far as a more well-rounded person. You’re able to develop skills that you never thought you could because you’ve learned something new. So, I think it’s wonderful advice and I think your mum’s spot on.
[00:27:34] Robert Hossary: I, I think it’s a great lesson Barnaby. I think it’s a great lesson.
[00:27:37] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, thanks. Me too.

[00:27:39] Lesson 8: Sometimes shit just works out for you.

[00:27:39] Robert Hossary: All right. Well, that was lesson number seven. So, let’s go to lesson number eight. Now, lesson number 8 is from your big brother, and I reckon, again, another lesson I subscribe to. Lesson number 8, sometimes, shit just works out for you.
[00:27:57] Barnaby Howarth: This is probably the deepest philosophical advice I’ve ever got. So, I went to high school with my older brother and one day something happened that I was surprised it happened. It was good for me. I ran over to him all excited. I was like, oh Adam, I just did this. I don’t know. And he goes, you know what, sometimes shit just works out for you.
[00:28:18] Barnaby Howarth: And my brother is basically the, if you look up that phrase, you know, in an encyclopedia, you’ll see a picture of him going like this. So, my brother finished high school, didn’t go to university, got a job at Fox Sports Australia doing logging, which was basically watching a sporting event and writing down what happened.
[00:28:39] Barnaby Howarth: And the timecode attached to it so journalists could come in the next day and just go straight to that clip and put in their stories. So, he started there and just worked hard, was good to people and went up and up and up the ladder. And he’s now, he’s buying TV shows. So, he’s kind of a big swinger in the Fox Sports Australia boardroom.
[00:29:03] Barnaby Howarth: But that hasn’t come about through any formal education or degrees or certificates. He’s just worked hard, he’s asked questions of people, he’s You know, he knows a little bit about a lot of things, and he’s got to a really successful place and has a nice house on the northern beaches with his family and kids.
[00:29:23] Barnaby Howarth: And I think that, that attitude is exactly how he got to where he is. He’s a successful man because he’s got that gratitude that sometimes shit does just work out for you.
[00:29:34] Robert Hossary: Yeah,
[00:29:35] Barnaby Howarth: To put more good stuff in than bad stuff, you’ll get more good stuff out than bad stuff.
[00:29:40] Robert Hossary: This seems to be a theme with my guests, my last guest, several episodes ago I was talking about exactly that.
[00:29:46] Robert Hossary: the universe will give you what you invest in it. So, and again, you know, from my point of view, karma is real people. I’ve said this before, be nice to everybody because it’s going to come back for you.
[00:30:01] Robert Hossary: And yeah, you know what? Shit just works out for you sometimes. I really like that. I really like that.

[00:30:10] Lesson 9: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

[00:30:10] Robert Hossary: Okay. Well. Lesson number nine. Now, this is contentious for me, because we’ve discussed this several times on, on the show, the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The platinum rule. that I subscribe to is do unto others as they would want to have done unto them. In other words, if I treat you the way that I want to be treated, it might not be the way you want to be treated.
[00:30:43] Barnaby Howarth: hmm. Mm
[00:30:44] Robert Hossary: So that’s, that’s where I’m going to argue with you on this. But lesson number nine, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Over to you Barnaby.
[00:30:53] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. Look, it’s, I, I, you can argue as much as you like. this for me, isn’t a deep philosophical, saying that has to be followed to the letter. Like I just believe, okay, let me, let me phrase it a different way I hope this wasn’t my 10th lesson because this.
[00:31:08] Robert Hossary: No,
[00:31:09] Robert Hossary: no, no, we, we, we’ve left the best to last Barnaby.
[00:31:13] Barnaby Howarth: So, my, another way of saying this one is just don’t be a dickhead.
[00:31:17] Robert Hossary: Well, that is it, 10th lesson.
[00:31:19] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, is that right? Well, let’s roll it into one then. Nine and ten.

[00:31:23] Lesson 10: Don’t be a dickhead.

[00:31:23] Robert Hossary: 9 and 10. All right. Well, lesson number 10, and this is from your little brother. Don’t be a dickhead.
[00:31:32] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, I, I, you can’t fail with that. With those two lessons combined, you can’t fail. And I, and if you want to talk philosophically about your take on doing to others, then that’s fine. I’m not going to argue with you. You can, you can have that opinion. But mine is just, don’t be a dick at the people.
[00:31:50] Robert Hossary: No, I, I see that. If you combine the two, I, I totally agree with you.
[00:31:55] Barnaby Howarth: And it’s another one of those examples where sometimes people take life too seriously and they have an agenda for the way they treat people and, and the way they act in society. But if you’re, if, if you approach every conversation, every connection, every, you know, chat in the, in the, in the workplace with those two rules in mind, do unto others and don’t be a dickhead, you can’t fail.
[00:32:21] Barnaby Howarth: You just talk to people like that. Talk to everybody like they’re just human beings, whether it’s the CEO or the cleaner, talk to them all the same. And you’ll be amazed at how much things come back to you if you start with those two things in mind before you go into any conversation or any contact with a person at all.
[00:32:40] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. I just love it. I love it because You’ve taken something that could be argued, you know, in, in cultural circles.
[00:32:49] Robert Hossary: and in hr, and, and you combine it with an even simpler lesson of don’t be a dickhead. And it made it so clear. Just be nice,
[00:33:01] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah,
[00:33:02] Robert Hossary: it’s a really, it it’s really powerful.
[00:33:05] Barnaby Howarth: yeah, I
[00:33:06] Robert Hossary: You know, I like, let’s put the joking aside for the time being. What you just said Barnaby is really powerful and it, just comes back to people being genuine and showing respect and love for their fellow humans.
[00:33:21] Robert Hossary: I mean, it’s really, really important stuff. And sometimes we do need to boil it down to these ridiculously worded sayings, because it’s, it makes the point even clearer. Don’t Be a dickhead.
[00:33:39] Barnaby Howarth: yeah.
[00:33:40] Robert Hossary: And I know that our US audience, that term is really offensive. And so, I apologize, but in Australia, it is, it’s the same as don’t be a jerk.
[00:33:50] Robert Hossary: And we’ve had, we’ve had one of our previous guests, Bob Sewell, who is a, an attorney who, one of his lessons is don’t be a jerk. Martin Cregan, who runs, Commvault here in Australia, a larger American company, says, you don’t have to be a jerk to be successful. And here we have Barnaby Howarth saying, don’t be a dickhead. It’s exactly the same thing. You know, you’ve got business leaders all over the world saying the same thing. So why don’t we listen? It’s very important. That’s why we have this show to share wonderful information like this wisdom from people who have gone through it. So, you don’t have to go through it. You know, because if you get to the point in your life where you go, you know what, I shouldn’t have been a dickhead, then you’ve gone through it. you’ve done all the stupid things that we’ve been trying to warn you about.
[00:34:47] Robert Hossary: So, Barnaby, is there anything you’d like to add to that,
[00:34:51] Barnaby Howarth: I would like to add to that. I feel like, people think about everything in terms of right or wrong. If I have this opinion, am I right or am I wrong? When you challenge the do unto others saying, cool, that that’s right for you. My, my version is right for me. Like it doesn’t mean we have to argue and not like each other.
[00:35:12] Robert Hossary: No, no,
[00:35:12] Barnaby Howarth: Like let’s just agree, disagree and move on. Oh,
[00:35:17] Robert Hossary: And there’s, there’s nothing wrong with do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. All I’m adding to that equation is be aware that some people are different to you,
[00:35:31] Robert Hossary: which is also what you’ve just said. You know, we have different opinions. We have different outlooks on life. If you’re aware of that, then great.
[00:35:41] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:35:42] Robert Hossary: Don’t be a dickhead.
[00:35:44] Barnaby Howarth: Life’s not rocket science. Too many people make it rocket science or try and make it rocket science.
[00:35:49] Robert Hossary: You’re right, Barnaby.
[00:35:51] Barnaby Howarth: off all the, the extra wanky layers. Just keep it simple.
[00:35:56] Robert Hossary: yeah. And I’m finding, I’m finding that out. I’m finding that out as I get older. if you keep it simple. You do develop these skills that we’ve been talking about, the gratitude, the
[00:36:09] Robert Hossary: happiness, everything else, a little faster. And you start to understand that nobody’s going to remember how much you made.
[00:36:15] Robert Hossary: Nobody’s going to remember how many hours you’ve worked.
[00:36:19] Robert Hossary: They’re just going to remember That you were part of their life, that you did this with them, that you shared these memories. That’s what’s important. Don’t you agree?
[00:36:30] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. And I, I can understand, like, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, supporting or saying it’s a good idea to be a ruthless toolbox, but I can understand why people are, because going by all this intangible stuff, like work hard, be good to people, you know, try your hardest, be proud of yourself, Is very intangible and doesn’t bring instant results.
[00:36:53] Robert Hossary: Yeah,
[00:36:54] Barnaby Howarth: you want, if you, if you have a boss who’s on your back about getting better bottom line figures at the end of the month, I can understand why people are ruthless, but if you go into every job, every social scenario with that intangible stuff, the work hard, be good to people in the back of your mind, the reward you get will be so much more than just good bottom line results at the end of the end of the month.
[00:37:18] Barnaby Howarth: agreed.
[00:37:19] Barnaby Howarth: so, I just, I, I understand that the ruthlessness, but if you want incredible like big scale success, you’re not going to get incredible big scale success from being ruthless Instantly, like it comes instantly, but it also goes instantly. So, you might have one good monthly result, but then you’ll crash and burn if you carry on like a toolbox.
[00:37:42] Barnaby Howarth: You’ll crash and burn pretty quickly, and no one will want to work with you. So,
[00:37:46] Robert Hossary: we’ve all seen it. We have all seen it.
[00:37:49] Barnaby Howarth: exactly right.
[00:37:50] Robert Hossary: So, Barnaby, where do we find you now? Tell us about, tell us a little bit about everyday greatness.
[00:37:59] Barnaby Howarth: So, Everyday Greatness is my interview show. That’s actually at a point now where planting seeds of small goodness over a long period of time has come back to reward me. So, the Sydney Swans will be co-hosting this season of Everyday Greatness. We’ve sent one invitation out to Delta Goodram, who the Swans want me to interview alongside Chloe Malloy, the captain of the AFL, the Swans, a FLW team.
[00:38:25] Barnaby Howarth: so, and that’s coming from their media room as a video podcast played on Swans TV and through my channels as well. So that’s one of those things. I, I didn’t ruthlessly go and chase the media, the media director at The Swans and give her my incredible presentation about why she should. Cohost a podcast with me.
[00:38:45] Barnaby Howarth: We’ve, we’ve known each other for a long time, and you know, we’ve been decent human beings to each other and respect each other and all of a sudden, an opportunity came up where the swans wanted to, to wanted to do a podcast. I needed somewhere else to do this season. So, we just sort of had a chat and we’re like, oh yeah, that, that works for me.
[00:39:02] Barnaby Howarth: That works for you. Let’s, let’s jump in and do it together.
[00:39:05] Barnaby Howarth: So yeah. So that’s, that’s one of those business successes that’s come off the back of nothing more than, work hard, be good to people.
[00:39:14] Robert Hossary: And where can people find you? If they need you. And I should point out that.
[00:39:19] Robert Hossary: Barnaby is also a professional speaker. So, Barnaby, can you tell the audience a little bit about your speaking career?
[00:39:26] Barnaby Howarth: I would love to, Robert. Thank you. So, I started doing keynote speaking 13 years ago as a sole trader alongside my job doing auto Q at the ABC, just to get a bit of extra gravy money. I thought maybe a couple of grand a year, but it’s kind of exploded from underneath me. I’ve given speeches in San Diego, Calgary, Dubai, Auckland, on a few cruises for Diabetes Education Foundation. when I started speaking, I went down the message of just what you and I’ve been talking about.
[00:39:58] Barnaby Howarth: Work hard, be good to people. And sometimes shit just works out for you. So, I started down that avenue where I was encouraging audiences to plant seeds of small goodness. And when they grow, they are a lot more successful than, than they would have been if they went the ruthless route. And initially I was told that sounded like I was Telling audiences to accept second best and celebrate mediocrity.
[00:40:24] Barnaby Howarth: Just trying your hardest and being proud of yourself. But I, I knew what I was trying to do. So, I just took that with a grain of salt and kept on going forward but now I’m just, I’m able to give these messages that just being a good human being is enough.
[00:40:40] Barnaby Howarth: And which in today’s world, today’s world is getting more and more ruthless it seems every day. So, people need that reminder that you can just work hard and be good to people and shit will work out. so, in the corporate sphere, I talk about good culture coming through an accumulation of small goodness.
[00:40:59] Barnaby Howarth: So, it’s not, you know, three or four head honchos saying, this is what our culture is going to be. Let’s make it happen. It’s every single person in an organization. Giving their small goodness and the accumulation of all of that small goodness is what will make the business’s culture what it is. So, I, as we said before, I live the message as I speak.
[00:41:20] Barnaby Howarth: So, I love. delivering them because I believe in them. If anybody would like to get in touch to talk about a presentation, my website is probably the best place to go, https://barnabyhowarth.com.au/. You can also see Everyday Greatness. We’ve done six seasons so far, and they’re all up on, on the website.
[00:41:41] Robert Hossary: so, with that, I’d like to thank Barnaby. They were some fantastic lessons, Barnaby. I really appreciate your time today. We’ll have all the links to Barnaby’s, website and his show in our show notes.
[00:41:55] Robert Hossary: So, I’d like to finish here today. you’ve been listening to 10 Lessons Learned. Our guest today has been Barnaby Howarth, sharing his 10 lessons Learned.
[00:42:03] Robert Hossary: This episode is supported as always by the Professional Development Forum. please tell us what you think about today’s lessons.
[00:42:11] Robert Hossary: You can even email us at podcast@10lessonslearned.com.
[00:42:15] Robert Hossary: Go ahead and hit that like button, subscribe and turn on that notification bell. So, you don’t miss an episode of the only podcast that makes the world a little wiser, lesson by lesson. Thanks. See you next time. And don’t forget, don’t be a dickhead. Bye.

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

Barnaby Howarth

Barnaby Howarth – Sometimes Stuff Just Works Out For You

Join us for an insightful conversation with Barnaby Howarth, whose journey from the Australian Football League to becoming a beacon of resilience and hope is both inspiring and instructive. Tune in as Barnaby shares valuable life and career lessons on overcoming adversity and finding strength in vulnerability. Hosted by Robert Hossary

About Barnaby Howarth

Former AFL footballer, diabetic, host of interview show “Everyday Greatness”, stroke survivor, autocue operator for ABC News Australia, widower and Deacon in the Coptic Orthodox church, Barnaby Howarth has been a resilience speaker for over a decade, telling audiences to try their hardest and be proud of themselves.
Barnaby is a real human being living the messages he promotes to audiences – His message that just being a good, solid human being is enough to live a life you are proud of is a real point of difference in today’s ever competitive world Barnaby has spoken all around the world to all sorts of groups and organisations.

Episode Notes

Lesson 1: Rain falls on the just. As in the I’m just like, but there comes a time when you just have to get over it and go and play in the puddles. 04:42
Lesson 2: Focus on the game plan, and the result will take care of itself. 07:56
Lesson 3: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. 10:35
Lesson 4: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. 15:49
Lesson 5: Work hard, be good to people. 18:48
Lesson 6: If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well. 21:37
Lesson 7: You are better off, knowing a little bit about a lot of things than a lot about a small number of things. 24:55
Lesson 8: Sometimes shit just works out for you. 27:39
Lesson 9: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. 30:10
Lesson 10: Don’t be a dickhead. 31:23

Barnaby Howarth – Sometimes Stuff Just Works Out For You

[00:00:08] Robert Hossary: Hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, where we talk to leaders and luminaries from all over the world to dispense their wisdom for your career, business, and life, in order to make the world a little wiser. Lesson by lesson. My name is Robert Hossary and I’m your host for this episode.
[00:00:27] Robert Hossary: Today’s guest is Barnaby Howarth, a former AFL footballer, diabetic, host of the interview a w show, Everyday Greatness, stroke survivor, auto cue operator for the ABC News Australia, which is a very weird thing to put in your, bio-Barnaby, but okay. A widower and a deacon of the Coptic Orthodox Church. Barnaby Howarth has been a resilience speaker for over a decade, telling audiences to try their hardest to be proud of themselves. Barnaby is a real human being living the messages he promotes to his audiences. His message. That just being a good, solid human being is enough to live a life that you’re proud of is a real point of difference in today’s competitive world. Barnaby has spoken all over the world to all sorts of groups and organizations and he is with us today. Welcome Barnaby.
[00:01:29] Barnaby Howarth: Thank you, Robert. Good to be here.
[00:01:30] Robert Hossary: So, you say, for our international audience, let’s just go back a step. For our international audience, could you tell them what an AFL footballer is?
[00:01:41] Barnaby Howarth: Certainly. So, AFL is the professional, well, one of the professional sports in Australia. It’s the one where they run ridiculous amounts of kilometers every game. they tackle, they fall over, have to get back up and sprint again. and it goes for about three hours. So, it’s a, it’s a huge, it’s usually athletically draining and demanding sport.
[00:02:03] Barnaby Howarth: but probably the most enjoyable to play and to watch in the world.
[00:02:07] Robert Hossary: Yeah, it’s been, it’s been referred to as aerial ballet. Some of the, some Of
[00:02:13] Robert Hossary: the moves, our AFL footballers, have to do to get a ball to score a goal has been described to me as aerial ballet.
[00:02:22] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. A lot of people call it ariel ping pong as well.
[00:02:26] Barnaby Howarth: The tight shorts game.
[00:02:28] Robert Hossary: Yes, that’s the other thing. Very tight shorts for some strange reason, unlike a lot of other sports, but okay, I’ll just let that one slide. So, tell me Barnaby, before we get started on your, 10 lessons, is there a lesson that you would have wanted to tell yourself when you were 30?
[00:02:48] Barnaby Howarth: Yes, very much so. I would have liked to have known you’ve got this. I think as a kid you’re just so anxious and nervous and worried that You need something extra. Everybody else just seems to have it. They seem to have this superpower. And I felt like for my whole life, well, for my whole young life, I was missing it.
[00:03:07] Barnaby Howarth: And that’s the one thing I would have liked someone to tell me that everybody out there you see is just faking it till they make it. You’ve got this, you’re fine.
[00:03:15] Robert Hossary: Is that something that you would most kids get from family and friends and their parents, or is that, you’re talking about an internal confidence?
[00:03:25] Barnaby Howarth: yeah, the internal stuff. I think,
[00:03:26] Barnaby Howarth: when I was growing up, I was told that if you’re not certain about something, look confident, because confident people get jobs and confident people get this and confident people get that. So, everybody around me looked confident and I thought, oh, bloody hell, these guys have got something.
[00:03:43] Barnaby Howarth: I don’t know what it is, but they’ve got something, and I don’t. So internally I was freaking out, but externally I was looking confident as well. So, I was just adding to the societal problems.
[00:03:53] Robert Hossary: yeah,
[00:03:54] Robert Hossary: No, I, I get what you’re saying. And I agree with you. If we had that internal confidence, knowing that it’s going to be okay. You got this. Yeah, that’s a, that’s actually a very good lesson. The first time someone put that or point forward and the more I’m thinking about it, the more I agree with it. All right, Barnaby. Well, let’s get on with your 10 lessons. and I appreciate you. sharing these with me and to our audience. This is probably the first time that I have seen so many lessons. come from a family background, and you’ll understand that as we go through the lessons, but some of these are, so spot on and can only be told by internal family members.
[00:04:39] Robert Hossary: You can only learn them from internal family.

[00:04:42] Lesson 1: Rain falls on the just. As in, I’m just like. but there comes a time when you just have to get over it and go and play in the puddles.

[00:04:42] Robert Hossary: So, let’s start with lesson number one, which is, something that you’ve come up with, Barnaby, this is your lesson. Rain falls on the just, as in, I’m just like, but there comes a time when you just have to get over it, go out and play in the puddles.
[00:05:01] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, this actually fell on me. So, it came from a necessity. After I had my stroke, I was back to, I’d come to grips with my place in the world and that self-confidence thing we talked about earlier. But after the stroke, I was back to square one. I couldn’t stand still. I was, my balance was so bad. I couldn’t use my left side and I thought I needed that mystical superpower.
[00:05:24] Barnaby Howarth: So, I had to work really hard and just wasn’t seeming to get results. And there were times where I thought I felt pretty flat about my place in the world, but I had to sum up why I had the stroke and was it fate and was it something I’d done earlier in the past or in another life And my whole justification of all that was that, you know what, rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, but you just got to get over it and go and play in the puddles.
[00:05:52] Barnaby Howarth: Like good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. You’ve got to keep going and get on with it. Am I allowed to swear on this show, Robert?
[00:06:00] Robert Hossary: Yes, Barnaby, you are.
[00:06:01] Barnaby Howarth: It’s a very delayed, response, but
[00:06:04] Robert Hossary: Oh no, because I was, I was, I was trying to be clever and I was going to swear as well, but, but just let it go.
[00:06:10] Barnaby Howarth: So, it’s basically the saying is basically shit happens.
[00:06:14] Robert Hossary: Shit happens.
[00:06:15] Barnaby Howarth: Bad stuff happens, and you just got to get up and keep moving.
[00:06:18] Robert Hossary: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you’re absolutely right. It takes people such a long time to learn such a simple lesson.
[00:06:28] Barnaby Howarth: Mm,
[00:06:28] Robert Hossary: And I don’t understand why. And it took, you know, and I’m one of those people. It took me a long time to realize that shit happens.
[00:06:37] Robert Hossary: Just, just get on with
[00:06:39] Barnaby Howarth: Mm-Hmm?
[00:06:40] Robert Hossary: You know, but in your case though, it’s not a, it’s not a case that you, you know, dropped a glass of wine. I mean You had a stroke which made you, made your entire, changed your entire life and the entire way you approach your life. And yet, yet you are probably one of the most inspirational People I’ve ever met, you’re happy, because you live that philosophy.
[00:07:08] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, stop it. yeah, look, I thank you for saying it, but I, like you said about my lessons coming from my family, everything I learned comes from my family and I don’t get up on a soapbox and beat my chest and say, follow my simple five-point plan. I guarantee you’ll find success. You do a lot of things that you think will bring success and they don’t, but don’t get downhearted and confused by it. Just get up and try something different.
[00:07:34] Barnaby Howarth: I couldn’t not live my messages cause I, I really believe in them. And I really frustrated, frustrates me when I see people blowing their own trumpet about certain things and then finding out they’ve got no idea what they’re talking about.
[00:07:46] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yes. I’m sorry to, yeah, I, I just, I see that every day and I couldn’t agree. I couldn’t agree more.

[00:07:56] Lesson 2: Focus on the game plan, and the result will take care of itself.

[00:07:56] Robert Hossary: All right. Barnaby, let’s, move on to lesson number two, because this is something that as a strategist is so important. lesson number two, focus on the game plan and the result will take care of itself.
[00:08:10] Robert Hossary: Now, this was from a former AFL club coach of yours.
[00:08:15] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. This is one of my favourite sayings. So, this wasn’t told as life advice, it was told as a way of winning football games.so the explanation was basically just concentrate on your next tackle, your next kick, your next marking contest. And if we win the game, that’s just a result of how hard you work on each individual, scenario.
[00:08:34] Barnaby Howarth: So, I partway through my stroke, I was getting some good results and feeling pretty good about who I was and where I was going. And it dawned on me that I was just doing exactly what my old footy coach said. I wasn’t worried about, like I wasn’t wallowing in self-pity and looking in the mirror and wondering where I was going to be in five years because that was really daunting.
[00:08:54] Barnaby Howarth: I just thought, right, well today I’ve got to do occupational therapy, physiotherapy and speech therapy. I’m going to do those and do them bloody well. And then where I am in five years’ time will take care of itself. And I, I found that’s, for me, that’s been a way of. I’ve never had any mental issues. I’ve had some pretty dark situations I’ve been in, but I haven’t had any lingering mental issues because of it.
[00:09:19] Barnaby Howarth: And I think it’s because of that, because I don’t stress about what the result of this particular action is going to be. I just do the action as well as I can. The result will be the result when it turns up.
[00:09:31] Robert Hossary: Again, when you overlay everything, you’ve gone through and we haven’t even begun to discuss it, we’ve only spoken about your stroke. I’ve mentioned that in your bio,
[00:09:42] Robert Hossary: I, in your intro, I mentioned the diabetes, but when you start piling all of these things on, then. I think our audience by the end of this will feel the way I feel, very inspired by you and take your lessons and try and live them because they are what it’s all about. If you start worrying about every single little thing, you’re never going to, you’re never going to get to tomorrow.
[00:10:12] Robert Hossary: You’re just going to be mired down in the crap that’s today. But you, you just said it well, you do what you need to do. You do it as well as you can do it and you move on.
[00:10:24] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. If it doesn’t work, shrug your shoulders. So what?
[00:10:28] Barnaby Howarth: Rain falls on the just the own, just alike.
[00:10:31] Robert Hossary: there you go. And all the lessons are tied into each other.
[00:10:35] Barnaby Howarth: go. Mm-Hmm.

[00:10:35] Lesson 3: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

[00:10:35] Robert Hossary: All right, Barnaby, lesson number three. Now, okay. This one is from one of your heroes, I suppose, a book that you’ve read and the lesson you’ve learned from it. Okay. Lesson number three, he who has a why to live can bear almost anyhow. I, and that’s from, Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. And I’m a great believer in the why. If you understand your why, if you know the why, you can do anything. tell me what this means to you, Barnaby.
[00:11:11] Barnaby Howarth: So, I read Man’s Search for meaning while I was traveling overseas solo when I was 18, 19 years old and I was in a really impressionable part of life, time of life. I wasn’t sure my place in the universe. Was I good enough to do what I wanted to do? so I was really uncertain. And I read that, and that one line made me realize, far out.
[00:11:37] Barnaby Howarth: And that’s, that’s the line that helped me realize that, you know, sometimes you’ve got to play in the puddles and don’t take life too seriously. If you’ve got good people around you, you’ve got good things to live for, then there’s no need to worry about the rest of it. If you get stuck in a traffic light and you’re late for work or you, you don’t have the type of cereal you normally like each morning, you just got to get over certain things.
[00:11:59] Barnaby Howarth: So that, that line, for me, that was similar to what you’re saying about my story. Victor Frankl was in a concentration camp. He was, like, he was seeing the horrors of world history all around him every day. And his reason for writing that line was that he said, you could see in people’s eyes, if people had a why to live for, you could see the strength glisten in their eyes, and they’d get through it.
[00:12:25] Barnaby Howarth: If they didn’t have a why to live for, they had nothing to get out for on the other side. He said, I literally saw them just drop dead, which is a horrible thing to hear. But for him to be able to write that from where he was, just amazed me. I thought, well, that gives me the view that I don’t have a lot to complain about.
[00:12:45] Barnaby Howarth: Like I’ve had a stroke, I’ve got diabetes. I lost my wife to breast cancer, but you know, rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, shit happens.
[00:12:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah Shit, happens.
[00:12:54] Robert Hossary: but what I’m noticing with you, and you haven’t put this in any of your lessons, but I’ve noticed this, in our interactions, I’ve noticed it with these anecdotes that you’re sharing with us, is you’re grateful. You’re grateful for what you’ve got.
[00:13:10] Barnaby Howarth: very much so. I am, you’re right. I don’t feel like I need to go and do affirmations in the mirror and write down what I’m grateful for. I just am grateful internally. It gives me an internal strength.
[00:13:25] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:13:25] Barnaby Howarth: knowing the great people, the great family I was brought up in, the great
[00:13:29] Robert Hossary: And the
[00:13:30] Barnaby Howarth: I have in my life.
[00:13:31] Robert Hossary: the memories that you’ve had, that you’ve shared with people who may or may not still be with you, you’re grateful.
[00:13:39] Robert Hossary: I can feel that. I can see it. And, to our audience, I’m going to say Barnaby is, the example of what your life can be if you are, if you have gratitude for everything that you, you have and everything that you’ve gone through. If you’re pissing and moaning about stuff that, you know, you didn’t get, then you’re on the wrong path. In my opinion, it’s just my opinion, but when I’m surrounded with people like Barnaby, who basically affirm my philosophies, then it just makes me feel as though I’m on the right path, because I’m doing that.
[00:14:20] Robert Hossary: I’m grateful for everything I’ve got. and I’m grateful for knowing all these wonderful guests that come through 10 Lessons like Barnaby. So, think about that, if you don’t have your why. Then maybe you should slow down and try and find it, try and understand why things are happening. And then all of a sudden, you’ll find yourself being grateful for what you’ve got and, and the people around you. Again, this is just my opinion, but I can see Barnaby that you’re not disputing that.
[00:14:55] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, look, I actually have a, a theory that supports it.
[00:14:59] Robert Hossary: Yep.
[00:15:00] Barnaby Howarth: everybody has a spark, a one, one subject that just gets them fired up and gets them talking and excited. And I think I’ve, I’ve often found that I put it as a challenge to myself when I’m talking to a stranger just to find their spark. If people say, oh, just be careful of this guy or this girl, she’s really boring.
[00:15:18] Barnaby Howarth: I’ll make a point of going over and just chatting and trying to find what that spark is. You ask enough questions. Eventually the spark comes out. So the same if you’re personally struggling to find your why, keep asking questions, go and, you know, go and talk to your neighbours, go and, go to the shops, go for walks, find, go to the beach, go and find different things that you haven’t done for a while and you’ll find your own spark.
[00:15:41] Robert Hossary: That’s a, that’s a wonderful sentiment. You’ll go and find your own spark. I like that, Barnaby. I like that very much.

[00:15:49] Lesson 4: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.

[00:15:49] Robert Hossary: Okay, Let’s go to another nonfamily member, who’s given you some insight and, taught you a lesson. lesson number four. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. Want to tell us who that is?
[00:16:06] Barnaby Howarth: That is the great Nelson Mandela. So, this one came about, I, with that fake it till you make it attitude, I saw a lot of people Who wouldn’t try new things because they were scared of the result and what people might have thought of them if they did. And, but this Nelson Mandela line just says, get out and give life a crack.
[00:16:27] Barnaby Howarth: Bravery isn’t just going, oh, you know what? I’m going to go skydiving or jump off a cliff or do something life threatening and just close my eyes and do it. That’s not bravery. Bravery is saying something you want to try, but you’re not sure how you’re going to go at it. But grabbing that fear by the collar, looking dead in his eye and saying, you know what, I’m freaking out right now, but I’m going to give this thing a crack.
[00:16:48] Barnaby Howarth: And it doesn’t need to be a big, a big, action-adventure sort of scenario. It can be standup comedy, karaoke. Going and talking to someone, going and telling a girl or a guy you like them, going and asking them out on a date. That’s
[00:17:01] Robert Hossary: could be changing, changing jobs.
[00:17:03] Barnaby Howarth: Exactly. Yeah. That’s real bravery. And I love that line for that reason.
[00:17:07] Robert Hossary: That’s so true. And, you know, this might sound simple to a lot of our audience, but I’ll, I will, Ask you to do this, whether you’re watching this on YouTube, whether you’re listening to it in your car or on a podcast, rewind, play this lesson again, and listen to what Barnaby says and listen to what Barnaby says.
[00:17:29] Robert Hossary: Don’t just hear the words because bravery is doing something makes you afraid. Something that fills you with fear and it doesn’t have to be life threatening and generally they aren’t. Changing your job is not life threatening but it, it fills you with dread. So, I would really strongly advise you to rewind this lesson, listen to it again, and really hear what Barnaby says. Now this is wonderful Barnaby, that is a very powerful and often forgotten, I suppose, skill that we have.
[00:18:11] Robert Hossary: to face our fears.
[00:18:14] Barnaby Howarth: And on the other side, the, the rewards of doing so is so much more valuable than the rewards of Jumping out of a plane, you get that instant buzz and that feeling, it was really adrenaline rush, but doing something you’re scared of gives you a, like a self-confidence for a long period of time that’ll be with you at the back of your mind when you face something that is actually scary.
[00:18:38] Barnaby Howarth: You just shrug your shoulders and say, I can do this.
[00:18:41] Robert Hossary: Yep. It’s that sense of accomplishment that builds that confidence. Absolutely. Fantastic.

[00:18:48] Lesson 5: Work hard, be good to people.

[00:18:48] Robert Hossary: All right, let’s move on to lesson number five. So, lesson number five, very simple, Barnaby, but, still powerful. A lot of your lessons are very simple, but powerful. Lesson number five, work hard. Be good to people.
[00:19:03] Barnaby Howarth: This actually, this is something I’ve, I’ve used my whole life, but it came back when I met up with a neighbour. So, our, our childhood neighbours, we were as good of friends as 10-year-old kids can be, but we went and had a beer the other night in North Sydney. And we’re talking about her father who just passed.
[00:19:23] Barnaby Howarth: She was talking really fondly of him, like, like you and I are talking. She was really excited about her father and the lessons he passed on to her. And she said, the best lesson he passed on to me, work hard, be good to people. And I thought, that’s so true. People make life really complicated.
[00:19:39] Barnaby Howarth: Make it a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But when you just come back to the simple things, work hard, be good to people, it’s not rocket science. It’s really hard to fail. If that’s, if that’s your goal, it’s really hard to fail. If your goal is to buy three houses in 12 months or get a job that pays 250, 000 a year, that’s hard and that can quite easily come with failure, but work hard, be good to people.
[00:20:03] Barnaby Howarth: It’s one of the easiest things you can do and the rewards of doing it. Are so much more valuable and self-assuring than anything else.
[00:20:11] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I, I, I agree. I’m reminded of my, of my ex-father-in-Law, who was just a, a wonderful gentleman, and that that’s what he did. He worked hard. He was good to people, and people loved him,
[00:20:25] Barnaby Howarth: Yep.
[00:20:26] Robert Hossary: and it’s, you still feel fondly about him. My, my children love their grandpa. They still do, and he’s been gone years now,
[00:20:35] Barnaby Howarth: Mmm.
[00:20:36] Robert Hossary: the memories and the lessons that are shared. from people like that who do work hard, who are good to people, as you said, it’s not a hard thing to do.
[00:20:49] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:20:49] Robert Hossary: And it’s, it’s a powerful, powerful lesson. No, I love it. thank you for sharing that.

[00:20:56] Affiliate Break

[00:20:56] Robert Hossary: I’d like to take a little break now and thank our affiliate partner Audible. Audible is an amazing way to consume 10 Lessons Learned and other podcasts, allowing you to build a library of knowledge all in the one place, to start your free 30 day. Trial. You can go to audibletrial.com/10lessonslearned with Audible, you can find your favourite lessons at home or on the go. Once again, that’s audibletrial.com/10lessonslearned. The link will be in the show notes.
[00:21:30] Robert Hossary: Our guest today is Barnaby. How. He’s a resilience speaker, a host and a mentor.

[00:21:37] Lesson 6: If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

[00:21:37] Robert Hossary: Barnaby, let’s get on to lesson number six. Now this one, this is where the family comes in
[00:21:44] Robert Hossary: now. So, lesson number six is from your father, Ross Howarth. So, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. Now we hear this, people would say, well, that’s a cliche Barnaby, but I’m sure you have a story behind this.
[00:22:02] Barnaby Howarth: It is a cliche. most of the, the men, in my life, my father, his father, my mum’s father. We’re all just work hard, be good to people. If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. So old school Australian blokes. And as I’ve got older, I’m now 44, but as I’ve got older, I’ve seen a lot of people know these sayings, like, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, but they’re just slack.
[00:22:27] Barnaby Howarth: They just do a shitty job and do it as quickly as they can and move on to the next thing. But every time I’m doing something, I can actually hear my father in the back of my head saying, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I’ll do something quickly and think that’s good enough. And then I’ll hear him go, is it really?
[00:22:44] Barnaby Howarth: So, I’ll jump back in and finish it off properly. But I think that it just, it’s such a mentality of, of who you are as a human being, just taking a bit of pride in your performance and, There are pride in what you look like, pride in how you treat people, all that old school stuff that has no tangible result.
[00:23:02] Barnaby Howarth: So many people are after tangible things, houses, cars, clothes, handbags, and they think the only way to get those things is to be ruthless. This my father’s advice and a lot of the family advice is just about, pardon the swearing again, but just not being a dickhead. Just working hard, being good to people, if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.
[00:23:24] Barnaby Howarth: So, I’d say that’s a long story and a long explanation, but
[00:23:27] Robert Hossary: No,
[00:23:28] Barnaby Howarth: where it comes from.
[00:23:29] Robert Hossary: That is absolutely perfect, because in a few, a few episodes, I’ve had to remind people that these lessons, while the upcoming younger leaders might not have heard of them,
[00:23:44] Robert Hossary: may never have heard these things, there’s also, our responsibility is also to remind the older generation to remember these things.
[00:23:52] Barnaby Howarth: hmm,
[00:23:52] Robert Hossary: And you’re, you’re right. A lot of people have forgotten that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, do the job once.
[00:24:00] Barnaby Howarth: yep,
[00:24:01] Robert Hossary: If you do it well, it’s done. And then you can move on. if you do a half assed job, what’s going to happen is you’re going to have to redo it.
[00:24:10] Robert Hossary: What a waste of your time. What a waste of every resource at your disposal. This is stupid. So, I agree with you, Barnaby, and you know, it’s good to reinforce. These lessons,
[00:24:23] Robert Hossary: because a lot of people forget.
[00:24:27] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:24:28] Robert Hossary: You know, it’s not that they have never heard it, or they don’t understand it, they forget. And they forget the importance of it, not the words, they remember the words, but they forget exactly what you just said, the importance of them. Now, I, I’m with you Barnaby, and if a job is worth doing people, it’s worth doing well.
[00:24:47] Barnaby Howarth: Do it once, do it right, is the other one he used to say.
[00:24:50] Robert Hossary: Yeah, I, I remember that one too, but it’s so true.

[00:24:55] Lesson 7: You are better off, knowing a little bit about a lot of things then a lot about a small number of things.

[00:24:55] Robert Hossary: All right, so, that was your dad,
[00:24:58] Robert Hossary: now let’s go to your mum. Lesson number seven. You are better off knowing a little bit about a lot of things than a lot about a small number of things.
[00:25:09] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. So, this comes back to the conversation we had about finding a person’s spark. So my mother takes great pride in being able to walk into any room and just chat to anybody, not, it doesn’t have to be a deep lifelong friendship, but just an interesting chat to a person rather than just walk in, go and get a drink and stand in the corner by yourself.
[00:25:30] Barnaby Howarth: And I’ve always thought that’s the way to go. it’s, it’s sparked some incredible friendships. it’s given me some incredible learning opportunities. If you just go and speak to people, find a couple of little points of interest that they respond to, Most people will be nervous if they see a stranger come and start a conversation, but if you can find a point of commonality Then you’ll unlock a conversation n and that person might spill some really incredible information or they might be the one person you’re looking for.
[00:26:00] Barnaby Howarth: You might have a task you need solved in your business or your life in general. They might be the one person that works in that particular field and can help you out. So, the amount of times that just flat-out coincidences happen in my life, I think is A, really rewarding, but B, comes about because of this advice from my mother.
[00:26:20] Barnaby Howarth: So, if you, if you just put your head in the sand and only think about your world, then it’s a pretty lonely place. But if you’ve, you know, if you just pay attention when you’re watching the news, read a couple of books, go and see some movies. Then you can chat to most people about most things and go and do random stuff.
[00:26:39] Barnaby Howarth: Go and watch standup comedy. Go to a car race, go to a surf lifesaving competition, things you’d never think would be interesting. And they may not be, they may be flat out boring, but you’ll, you’ll pick things up that you didn’t know before and be able to talk to people you weren’t able to talk to before.
[00:26:55] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I do, subscribe to, to that. being a generalist in business is, and it’s the same. If you compare it to business, being a generalist in business means that you can do more. You cover more than being that specialist that just knows about your own job. So, the same thing goes in life. And it also helps you being a better person as far as a more well-rounded person. You’re able to develop skills that you never thought you could because you’ve learned something new. So, I think it’s wonderful advice and I think your mum’s spot on.
[00:27:34] Robert Hossary: I, I think it’s a great lesson Barnaby. I think it’s a great lesson.
[00:27:37] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, thanks. Me too.

[00:27:39] Lesson 8: Sometimes shit just works out for you.

[00:27:39] Robert Hossary: All right. Well, that was lesson number seven. So, let’s go to lesson number eight. Now, lesson number 8 is from your big brother, and I reckon, again, another lesson I subscribe to. Lesson number 8, sometimes, shit just works out for you.
[00:27:57] Barnaby Howarth: This is probably the deepest philosophical advice I’ve ever got. So, I went to high school with my older brother and one day something happened that I was surprised it happened. It was good for me. I ran over to him all excited. I was like, oh Adam, I just did this. I don’t know. And he goes, you know what, sometimes shit just works out for you.
[00:28:18] Barnaby Howarth: And my brother is basically the, if you look up that phrase, you know, in an encyclopedia, you’ll see a picture of him going like this. So, my brother finished high school, didn’t go to university, got a job at Fox Sports Australia doing logging, which was basically watching a sporting event and writing down what happened.
[00:28:39] Barnaby Howarth: And the timecode attached to it so journalists could come in the next day and just go straight to that clip and put in their stories. So, he started there and just worked hard, was good to people and went up and up and up the ladder. And he’s now, he’s buying TV shows. So, he’s kind of a big swinger in the Fox Sports Australia boardroom.
[00:29:03] Barnaby Howarth: But that hasn’t come about through any formal education or degrees or certificates. He’s just worked hard, he’s asked questions of people, he’s You know, he knows a little bit about a lot of things, and he’s got to a really successful place and has a nice house on the northern beaches with his family and kids.
[00:29:23] Barnaby Howarth: And I think that, that attitude is exactly how he got to where he is. He’s a successful man because he’s got that gratitude that sometimes shit does just work out for you.
[00:29:34] Robert Hossary: Yeah,
[00:29:35] Barnaby Howarth: To put more good stuff in than bad stuff, you’ll get more good stuff out than bad stuff.
[00:29:40] Robert Hossary: This seems to be a theme with my guests, my last guest, several episodes ago I was talking about exactly that.
[00:29:46] Robert Hossary: the universe will give you what you invest in it. So, and again, you know, from my point of view, karma is real people. I’ve said this before, be nice to everybody because it’s going to come back for you.
[00:30:01] Robert Hossary: And yeah, you know what? Shit just works out for you sometimes. I really like that. I really like that.

[00:30:10] Lesson 9: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

[00:30:10] Robert Hossary: Okay. Well. Lesson number nine. Now, this is contentious for me, because we’ve discussed this several times on, on the show, the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The platinum rule. that I subscribe to is do unto others as they would want to have done unto them. In other words, if I treat you the way that I want to be treated, it might not be the way you want to be treated.
[00:30:43] Barnaby Howarth: hmm. Mm
[00:30:44] Robert Hossary: So that’s, that’s where I’m going to argue with you on this. But lesson number nine, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Over to you Barnaby.
[00:30:53] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. Look, it’s, I, I, you can argue as much as you like. this for me, isn’t a deep philosophical, saying that has to be followed to the letter. Like I just believe, okay, let me, let me phrase it a different way I hope this wasn’t my 10th lesson because this.
[00:31:08] Robert Hossary: No,
[00:31:09] Robert Hossary: no, no, we, we, we’ve left the best to last Barnaby.
[00:31:13] Barnaby Howarth: So, my, another way of saying this one is just don’t be a dickhead.
[00:31:17] Robert Hossary: Well, that is it, 10th lesson.
[00:31:19] Barnaby Howarth: Oh, is that right? Well, let’s roll it into one then. Nine and ten.

[00:31:23] Lesson 10: Don’t be a dickhead.

[00:31:23] Robert Hossary: 9 and 10. All right. Well, lesson number 10, and this is from your little brother. Don’t be a dickhead.
[00:31:32] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah, I, I, you can’t fail with that. With those two lessons combined, you can’t fail. And I, and if you want to talk philosophically about your take on doing to others, then that’s fine. I’m not going to argue with you. You can, you can have that opinion. But mine is just, don’t be a dick at the people.
[00:31:50] Robert Hossary: No, I, I see that. If you combine the two, I, I totally agree with you.
[00:31:55] Barnaby Howarth: And it’s another one of those examples where sometimes people take life too seriously and they have an agenda for the way they treat people and, and the way they act in society. But if you’re, if, if you approach every conversation, every connection, every, you know, chat in the, in the, in the workplace with those two rules in mind, do unto others and don’t be a dickhead, you can’t fail.
[00:32:21] Barnaby Howarth: You just talk to people like that. Talk to everybody like they’re just human beings, whether it’s the CEO or the cleaner, talk to them all the same. And you’ll be amazed at how much things come back to you if you start with those two things in mind before you go into any conversation or any contact with a person at all.
[00:32:40] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. I just love it. I love it because You’ve taken something that could be argued, you know, in, in cultural circles.
[00:32:49] Robert Hossary: and in hr, and, and you combine it with an even simpler lesson of don’t be a dickhead. And it made it so clear. Just be nice,
[00:33:01] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah,
[00:33:02] Robert Hossary: it’s a really, it it’s really powerful.
[00:33:05] Barnaby Howarth: yeah, I
[00:33:06] Robert Hossary: You know, I like, let’s put the joking aside for the time being. What you just said Barnaby is really powerful and it, just comes back to people being genuine and showing respect and love for their fellow humans.
[00:33:21] Robert Hossary: I mean, it’s really, really important stuff. And sometimes we do need to boil it down to these ridiculously worded sayings, because it’s, it makes the point even clearer. Don’t Be a dickhead.
[00:33:39] Barnaby Howarth: yeah.
[00:33:40] Robert Hossary: And I know that our US audience, that term is really offensive. And so, I apologize, but in Australia, it is, it’s the same as don’t be a jerk.
[00:33:50] Robert Hossary: And we’ve had, we’ve had one of our previous guests, Bob Sewell, who is a, an attorney who, one of his lessons is don’t be a jerk. Martin Cregan, who runs, Commvault here in Australia, a larger American company, says, you don’t have to be a jerk to be successful. And here we have Barnaby Howarth saying, don’t be a dickhead. It’s exactly the same thing. You know, you’ve got business leaders all over the world saying the same thing. So why don’t we listen? It’s very important. That’s why we have this show to share wonderful information like this wisdom from people who have gone through it. So, you don’t have to go through it. You know, because if you get to the point in your life where you go, you know what, I shouldn’t have been a dickhead, then you’ve gone through it. you’ve done all the stupid things that we’ve been trying to warn you about.
[00:34:47] Robert Hossary: So, Barnaby, is there anything you’d like to add to that,
[00:34:51] Barnaby Howarth: I would like to add to that. I feel like, people think about everything in terms of right or wrong. If I have this opinion, am I right or am I wrong? When you challenge the do unto others saying, cool, that that’s right for you. My, my version is right for me. Like it doesn’t mean we have to argue and not like each other.
[00:35:12] Robert Hossary: No, no,
[00:35:12] Barnaby Howarth: Like let’s just agree, disagree and move on. Oh,
[00:35:17] Robert Hossary: And there’s, there’s nothing wrong with do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. All I’m adding to that equation is be aware that some people are different to you,
[00:35:31] Robert Hossary: which is also what you’ve just said. You know, we have different opinions. We have different outlooks on life. If you’re aware of that, then great.
[00:35:41] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah.
[00:35:42] Robert Hossary: Don’t be a dickhead.
[00:35:44] Barnaby Howarth: Life’s not rocket science. Too many people make it rocket science or try and make it rocket science.
[00:35:49] Robert Hossary: You’re right, Barnaby.
[00:35:51] Barnaby Howarth: off all the, the extra wanky layers. Just keep it simple.
[00:35:56] Robert Hossary: yeah. And I’m finding, I’m finding that out. I’m finding that out as I get older. if you keep it simple. You do develop these skills that we’ve been talking about, the gratitude, the
[00:36:09] Robert Hossary: happiness, everything else, a little faster. And you start to understand that nobody’s going to remember how much you made.
[00:36:15] Robert Hossary: Nobody’s going to remember how many hours you’ve worked.
[00:36:19] Robert Hossary: They’re just going to remember That you were part of their life, that you did this with them, that you shared these memories. That’s what’s important. Don’t you agree?
[00:36:30] Barnaby Howarth: Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. And I, I can understand, like, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, supporting or saying it’s a good idea to be a ruthless toolbox, but I can understand why people are, because going by all this intangible stuff, like work hard, be good to people, you know, try your hardest, be proud of yourself, Is very intangible and doesn’t bring instant results.
[00:36:53] Robert Hossary: Yeah,
[00:36:54] Barnaby Howarth: you want, if you, if you have a boss who’s on your back about getting better bottom line figures at the end of the month, I can understand why people are ruthless, but if you go into every job, every social scenario with that intangible stuff, the work hard, be good to people in the back of your mind, the reward you get will be so much more than just good bottom line results at the end of the end of the month.
[00:37:18] Barnaby Howarth: agreed.
[00:37:19] Barnaby Howarth: so, I just, I, I understand that the ruthlessness, but if you want incredible like big scale success, you’re not going to get incredible big scale success from being ruthless Instantly, like it comes instantly, but it also goes instantly. So, you might have one good monthly result, but then you’ll crash and burn if you carry on like a toolbox.
[00:37:42] Barnaby Howarth: You’ll crash and burn pretty quickly, and no one will want to work with you. So,
[00:37:46] Robert Hossary: we’ve all seen it. We have all seen it.
[00:37:49] Barnaby Howarth: exactly right.
[00:37:50] Robert Hossary: So, Barnaby, where do we find you now? Tell us about, tell us a little bit about everyday greatness.
[00:37:59] Barnaby Howarth: So, Everyday Greatness is my interview show. That’s actually at a point now where planting seeds of small goodness over a long period of time has come back to reward me. So, the Sydney Swans will be co-hosting this season of Everyday Greatness. We’ve sent one invitation out to Delta Goodram, who the Swans want me to interview alongside Chloe Malloy, the captain of the AFL, the Swans, a FLW team.
[00:38:25] Barnaby Howarth: so, and that’s coming from their media room as a video podcast played on Swans TV and through my channels as well. So that’s one of those things. I, I didn’t ruthlessly go and chase the media, the media director at The Swans and give her my incredible presentation about why she should. Cohost a podcast with me.
[00:38:45] Barnaby Howarth: We’ve, we’ve known each other for a long time, and you know, we’ve been decent human beings to each other and respect each other and all of a sudden, an opportunity came up where the swans wanted to, to wanted to do a podcast. I needed somewhere else to do this season. So, we just sort of had a chat and we’re like, oh yeah, that, that works for me.
[00:39:02] Barnaby Howarth: That works for you. Let’s, let’s jump in and do it together.
[00:39:05] Barnaby Howarth: So yeah. So that’s, that’s one of those business successes that’s come off the back of nothing more than, work hard, be good to people.
[00:39:14] Robert Hossary: And where can people find you? If they need you. And I should point out that.
[00:39:19] Robert Hossary: Barnaby is also a professional speaker. So, Barnaby, can you tell the audience a little bit about your speaking career?
[00:39:26] Barnaby Howarth: I would love to, Robert. Thank you. So, I started doing keynote speaking 13 years ago as a sole trader alongside my job doing auto Q at the ABC, just to get a bit of extra gravy money. I thought maybe a couple of grand a year, but it’s kind of exploded from underneath me. I’ve given speeches in San Diego, Calgary, Dubai, Auckland, on a few cruises for Diabetes Education Foundation. when I started speaking, I went down the message of just what you and I’ve been talking about.
[00:39:58] Barnaby Howarth: Work hard, be good to people. And sometimes shit just works out for you. So, I started down that avenue where I was encouraging audiences to plant seeds of small goodness. And when they grow, they are a lot more successful than, than they would have been if they went the ruthless route. And initially I was told that sounded like I was Telling audiences to accept second best and celebrate mediocrity.
[00:40:24] Barnaby Howarth: Just trying your hardest and being proud of yourself. But I, I knew what I was trying to do. So, I just took that with a grain of salt and kept on going forward but now I’m just, I’m able to give these messages that just being a good human being is enough.
[00:40:40] Barnaby Howarth: And which in today’s world, today’s world is getting more and more ruthless it seems every day. So, people need that reminder that you can just work hard and be good to people and shit will work out. so, in the corporate sphere, I talk about good culture coming through an accumulation of small goodness.
[00:40:59] Barnaby Howarth: So, it’s not, you know, three or four head honchos saying, this is what our culture is going to be. Let’s make it happen. It’s every single person in an organization. Giving their small goodness and the accumulation of all of that small goodness is what will make the business’s culture what it is. So, I, as we said before, I live the message as I speak.
[00:41:20] Barnaby Howarth: So, I love. delivering them because I believe in them. If anybody would like to get in touch to talk about a presentation, my website is probably the best place to go, https://barnabyhowarth.com.au/. You can also see Everyday Greatness. We’ve done six seasons so far, and they’re all up on, on the website.
[00:41:41] Robert Hossary: so, with that, I’d like to thank Barnaby. They were some fantastic lessons, Barnaby. I really appreciate your time today. We’ll have all the links to Barnaby’s, website and his show in our show notes.
[00:41:55] Robert Hossary: So, I’d like to finish here today. you’ve been listening to 10 Lessons Learned. Our guest today has been Barnaby Howarth, sharing his 10 lessons Learned.
[00:42:03] Robert Hossary: This episode is supported as always by the Professional Development Forum. please tell us what you think about today’s lessons.
[00:42:11] Robert Hossary: You can even email us at podcast@10lessonslearned.com.
[00:42:15] Robert Hossary: Go ahead and hit that like button, subscribe and turn on that notification bell. So, you don’t miss an episode of the only podcast that makes the world a little wiser, lesson by lesson. Thanks. See you next time. And don’t forget, don’t be a dickhead. Bye.

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

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