50th Episode of 10 Lessons it Took Me 50 Years to Learn

50th Episode with Diana White-Siebe Van Der Zee-Jeffery Wang-Robert Hossary
Well we made it to 50 Episodes! That's 500 lessons that we have shared with the world. In this episode we share some of your feedback and comments. Thank you for supporting us and making this possible. Hosted by Diana White, Siebe Van Der Zee, Jeffery Wang and Robert Hossary

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Let’s Celebrate this Milestone

Special thanks goes out to Dr Duff Watkins, Rider Antwi, Yi Wang, Joshua Ntanu.

Thank you to our season supporter The Professional Development Forum. Your support and resources have helped make this happen. Please visit PDF at https://professionaldevelopmentforum.org/.

And a very big thank you to all our guests. Your wisdom is helping to make the world a wiser place lesson by lesson.

50th Episode 

[00:00:07] Robert Hossary: Hello, and welcome to this Special 50th episode of “10 lessons it took me 50 years to learn”. We’re very excited to bring this to you today, and I am not going to take up any more of your time. I’m just going to pass over to the rest of my esteemed hosts so they can introduce themselves. And let’s start with our newest host to 10 lessons. Diana White.

[00:00:33] Diana White: Hello everybody. I’m Diana White. I am the CEO of Chandler Innovations Incubator in Chandler Arizona. I also have a myriad of other titles, but we’ll save that for another day.

[00:00:45] Siebe Vanderzee: Great. My name is Siebe Van Der Zee I have the easy name. And uh, I’m involved in global executive search and performance coaching. Very happy to be part of this podcast. And obviously as we talk, we’ll, uh, we’ll find out more about each other.

[00:01:02] Jeffery Wang: My name is Jeffrey Wang and I’m the founder of the Professional Development Forum. I’m very excited to be part of this team and, uh, certainly excited for what we’re about to achieve together.

[00:01:14] Robert Hossary: And I’m Robert Hossary in a nutshell. I’m a father, a husband, a son, a brother. I’ve been a CEO. I’ve been a regional vice-president, I’m a consultant. I’m a chair. I’m on a board of directors. Basically. I’ve done a lot of shit. and I’m still here. But one thing that we’ve all got in common is that we are all here to share what we have learned and to share our experiences With you, that’s what this is all about. So welcome to our 50th episode and thank you again for tuning in and being with us. I’d like to also, quickly, take this opportunity to acknowledge the rest of our team. Dr. Duff Watkins, who is also one of our hosts, Duff can’t be with us today. But we’d also like to thank the behind-the-scenes people, the people that actually help make this all happen.

Yi Wang. Thank You Yi. Rider Antwi, thank you Rider for everything you’ve done from the very beginning and Joshua, uh, I’ve got to get this right Ntanu Thank you, Joshua. Okay. So, we’ve been doing this show now for 50 episodes and you have loved it. You’ve written to us. You’ve told us stuff that you’ve enjoyed.

You’ve told us stuff you haven’t enjoyed, and we’re going to share some of that with you today and hopefully We want you to keep doing that? let’s start off with some comments we got, we had Steve Zylstra on, as a guest and John Koop wrote to us after we did that “Great interview, an amazing concept interviewing smart business owners that have acquired more than knowledge. They’ve acquired wisdom. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with us. I just joined the Arizona technology council. And it’s good to see that the top of this organization is passionate yet. Humble. And great questions Siebe”. John says you posed some great questions. I mean, that’s, great praise.

And Steve was a great guest, too. They had some great lessons. here’s one for you, Diana, from Sophia Lovasz is, “Thank you for sharing these life lessons. Very informative, and allows me to self-reflect”. This is on the episode that Siebe interviewed you, for us Diana, but that’s an important point.

What we do helps. you Think about how these lessons apply to you and helps you. Self-reflect that’s really what it’s all about. we’ll discuss these in a moment. I just want to share one or two others if you don’t mind. people before we go on. we have, Ralph Romulus Frondoza this is on an episode that we did with, Guillaume Lucci,

“True grassroots, personal relationships hire the right people. And then you, as they manager make them successful. This is golden wisdom” says, Ralph. I agree. It is. okay.

This is a bit self-serving but Grant Brown, Grant Brown a comment on our wisdom episode. “I enjoyed this episode, the philosophical question to pose and good points put forward by all speakers. But you Robert Hossary, you sir are as wise as Yoda”. Well, what can I say? What can I say? Yeah. There’s a reason why I put this up here. Um,

[00:04:38] Jeffery Wang: Very wise you, are

[00:04:42] Robert Hossary: I won’t do it. we have a few others I’ll get to them later, but one that I’ll, I’ll just throw to you, Diana, because we’ve discussed this, and I just want to get your reaction on camera. Wanda Costen, great thoughtful and encouraging advice. This is for your episode, with Siebe tell us a bit about Wanda.

[00:05:02] Diana White: Oh, my goodness. So, Everyone. Uh, Robert is trying to get me to run my eyeliner and cry. It won’t happen. Uh, Dr. Costen, Dr. Costen is, an amazing, amazing woman. And I met her when I was on the Northern Arizona university campus she became, I feel like one of my greatest mentors and one of the reasons why she was so pivotal for me is because gave me the truth. and, and sometimes it wasn’t in my favour, but it was what I needed to hear. And she was so wise and is so very practical and fun, and broke my heart when she, uh, took another position in Canada. that’s not just a jaunt, right? just pop over.

but I was totally surprised that she had watched my podcast. And for someone that I think, uh, she’s a west point graduate. She’s an amazing woman. I think that she is what I aspire to be. And she’s saying that she learned things from you can’t get any better than that.

[00:06:10] Robert Hossary: but isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that what we’re all about?

[00:06:13] Diana White: Yeah.

[00:06:16] Robert Hossary: So, we, we have people who tune into this show. Who are themselves potential guests, but even they are learning something from us. And you’ve got to appreciate the fact that what we are doing is making the world a better place lesson by lesson. So, there’s a comment here that we got from Moses Koyabe and. I love this because Moses made me actually go and Google. What the hell this thing was because I didn’t understand his comment. So “Wisdom is like the baobab tree. No one individual can embrace it. Thank you for this session. I walk away a little wiser after touching your baobab tree”.

So originally, I looked at it and went, it’s not something I would say, but when I checked out what the baobab tree is, and if you haven’t, please go and have a look. It’s one of the largest, it is the largest tree in the world. And as he says, no one individual can embrace it because there’s no way you’re going to get your arms around it.

And Moses is spot on because wisdom is like that. There is no all-encompassing wisdom. But there are little bits of wisdom, and you can only touch certain bits at a time and that’s what we’re doing. So, thank you, Moses. I really, really like this, analogy and we are now wise for touching your baobab tree.

It still doesn’t sound

[00:07:47] Jeffery Wang: That doesn’t sound right.

[00:07:48] Robert Hossary: doesn’t sound right, there you go. So, any comments, any comments on any of these so far?

[00:07:58] Jeffery Wang: What I love about these comments and these guests and the, the episodes that we’ve had is just how international, our episodes are in that, you know, there is so much different, sources of wisdom that were drawn from, I mean, from anything from native American To, Indian, immigrants to America or, all the way across into Australia.

And, you know, we suddenly have that Dutch influence, sprinkle throughout the episodes. Because of that, I now know. what a baobab tree is, which are Google after this mind you. Um,

Um, so yes. Yes, I’ve just enjoyed the variety cultures and, and how, what that actually brought to this whole, whole entire experience

[00:08:46] Robert Hossary: Yeah. What do you reckon?

[00:08:48] Siebe Vanderzee: Well, I, I, what I find interesting, as I learn more about our guests is that there is typically a second or a third story attached to these individuals. It’s one thing to say, he or she is successful in this particular industry or category, but then you learn and that happens, I guess, too many people, not all that they are also involved in other activities that are quite impressive. Could be helping people that are disadvantaged. It could be, fundraising for a certain cause. But it’s not typically the story that you hear about these individuals, but it’s there. And, and so you learn more. Well with all due respect, simply the lessons of wisdom, which is significant by itself.

But then there is the additional story of the individual. And, I can think of many people that, uh, we have had as a guest. There is a secondary and perhaps tertiary story attached to that individual. Very powerful.

[00:09:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Diana, what do you think of these comments?

[00:09:57] Diana White: I, I think the comments are amazing. I think that, when you put something out there, whether it, you know, it’s a piece of yourself, or you’re the host, and you’re trying to, bring forth the best wisdom possible to get that feedback and those comments and questions shows the engagement. It almost as if, if you’re having a conversation with another person and they talk back with you, you’re being heard. Well, we’re having a conversation with the world they’re talking back to us and they’re telling us that we hear you. And I think that’s amazing. I think that’s amazing.

[00:10:33] Robert Hossary: I couldn’t agree more, man. We heard in over 60 countries around the world so far, uh, it really is wonderful that, we’ve got listeners in so many countries and they’re writing to us. I, I agree with you. Uh, I’ll just read a few more of these, Susan Watts, “Hands down the best episode yet, and they’re all outstanding”.

She’s talking about the Vikas Tiku episode. I found wishing I had the opportunity to work for Vikas”. Well, Vikas if you’re listening, Susan Watts wants a job. Give us a call. We’ll put you in touch, but she’s right. I mean, you know, his leadership style came across so clearly in that interview, but more than that, the fact that someone listened to a leader of an organization and said that is the type of person that I want to be with.

She heard he’s lessons. She understood his character. that’s wonderful. Another one for Diana, two words from, uh, Debra Friednash. “Love it”. There you go. And here’s one from, one of our guests, uh, Bill Guy. So, William Guy. He’s following us. Bill, I know that you’re listening or watching this a thank you for being a guest.

Thank you for helping us launch this thing as one of our first guests. But Bill has a comment here and I want to discuss this with you. “I hope this “borrowed wisdom””. He says, “I hope this “borrowed wisdom” helps others in the knowledge they need to make the world a better place”. Yeah, I love that comment one because of the humility, uh, and two, because he’s so spot on, but you know, that’s what we’re trying to do and what I’ve heard from, and I’d like to also pose this to you, Diana, but what I’ve heard and Jeff and Siebe can elaborate before you answer what I’ve heard from a lot of guests that we’ve had is thank you.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity as a guest to put my thoughts down, to consolidate the things that I truly believe in, or at least 10 of the things I truly believe in. Gentlemen, what do you think before Diana answers?

[00:12:50] Siebe Vanderzee: Jeff, go ahead.

[00:12:51] Jeffery Wang: All right. Yeah, absolutely. I couldn’t agree with you more. many of my guests, it, for them it’s the first they’ve actually sat down and took stock of their life reflected on life and to give back, you know, the wisdom that had garnered from their lives. And certainly, I think through the experienced, they enjoyed it immensely because they realize that this, like you said, Rob was something that we were truly, truly passionate about.

I, I see that flow through so many these episodes, you know, there are certainly lessons that I, know, that me personally. resonate very, very strongly as it took me the same amount of time to learn, know, and all throughout this whole experience, I’d be listening to episodes telling myself, kicking myself, thinking, God, I wish I knew this 20 years ago. And I guess in, in some respects, you know, that is the reason why we’re all doing this because we all wish we knew this and, and somebody listening out there. Actually, are getting it 20 years before they, they would have otherwise learned some of this stuff. So, is why we’re doing this?

[00:13:57] Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, I, I fully agree, uh, Jeffrey with what you’re saying. had multiple guests that after the recording came back and said, that was a good exercise. For me, for them as a guest one individual, I have to think of, uh, I actually recorded the podcast while he was on a yacht in the Mediterranean, uh, on a Saturday afternoon, he was out on vacation his family and, he made an effort to, uh, to be the guest. But what really stuck with me is that afterwards. And again, I’m thinking, well, this is now, you know, well into the evening, uh, in, in, uh, in the Mediterranean in Europe. He sent me an email message, uh, expressing exactly what we’re talking about, how helpful it was to him and how much he enjoyed thinking about his 10 lessons, because we can say, oh, 10 lessons that’s easy. How many do you need? 20 ,30. if you really sit down and say, okay, I’m going to present this to the world as we do. Yes, it takes some time. You want to think it through. It comes back. And in a way, it came as a surprise to many of us as something that they appreciate. We appreciate it, the audience appreciates it, the guests typically appreciated that as well.

And that was a very nice, additional benefit that we got out of it.

[00:15:27] Robert Hossary: Now we’ve all been guests on this and. audience you haven’t heard Jeff or my episode because they’re coming, but Diana, as a guest, how did those 10 lessons, make you feel when you had to put them down? How did you feel doing that?

[00:15:43] Diana White: Well, it was easy, uh, to come up with the lessons. They’re more mantras for me than lessons. So, it was easy to come up with them. I will tell you, when I left retail and I went into this new path, new career, we had, a guest that talked about you’ll have several careers in your lifetime. Uh, when I went into this new career, it put me in the spotlight a little bit and I’ve been interviewed on the news. I’ve been on other podcasts, so many different things, and man, it was cringeworthy. I didn’t even want to look at it. I didn’t want to hear it again. And let’s just get this over with and. One, it makes a difference that, uh, Siebe made me so comfortable, but when I went back to review it again, uh, the narcissist that I am, because I have to look at it several times. Right. of the things that I realized is, my confidence, my demeanour, it all came from the fact that I truly, truly believe in and abide by those rules. I wasn’t making anything up. That wasn’t my life. That is me. Those examples were from my real life, and it was so easy it was so comfortable, and I don’t cringe when I watch or listen to my episode because is, I think the truest reflection of me that I’ve ever seen, uh, to date.

So, it was, it was powerful in one sense to be outside of myself and look at that person on the screen and say, wow, she truly does have something to impart. and, and that, that confidence can’t be taken away once, once given. So, I loved it.

[00:17:28] Robert Hossary: That’s wonderful.

[00:17:29] Diana White: I loved it.

[00:17:31] Robert Hossary: That is what we’re all about and you’re right. your episode was wonderful. You, the rest of our guests are authentic and that’s what we do. We talk to as Siebe, put it at the very first episode, we’re going to talk to interesting people about their, interesting experiences. And that’s what we’re doing.

There are no sales gurus who are going to show you techniques and tricks, and tips. They’re going to tell you, as Jeff said, what you should know, and what you wished you would have known when you were younger. Oh, look, thank you, Diane. Thank you everyone. This is, that was really, really good.

 I want to move on to questions that were posed to us, but before we get to there, I personally am curious. I’m going to ask you to limit your answers to maybe one. Out of the 50 episodes we’ve done. Can you name a lessons so far? Because I’m sure there’s going to be others that will displace it, but so far that has just made you go, wow.

And that you have implemented not just something that you went oh, that’s clever, but that you have implemented. Just to give you some time to think I will start off. There’s a lot of them, and I’m not saying this because you’re there Diane, or I’m saying this because it’s true. I’ve been in business for 40 years.

I still consider myself a sales professional. I was taught how to listen when I sell, I was taught how to listen for buying signals. That’s not what you said. You said, listen for comprehension and empathy. And that made me stop and look at what I was doing and going, I am not listening to people.

I am trying to sell them something. That’s what I was taught to do. So, thank you, Diana. I now listen for comprehension. I listened to understand what is being said to me. And not what I can use against you to sell you something I want. So that, to me so far, there’s been a lot of great lessons, but that’s, uh, that’s one of the top on my list that I have implemented.

So, I just want to say that publicly. so, I got your ball rolling. Let’s uh, let’s point a finger. Siebe you’re next.

[00:19:54] Siebe Vanderzee: Well, what a way to start. we’re talking roughly 500 lessons, right? So, uh, so which one, and, when you say, which one do you want to adopt and make a change in your life?

I have to think of, uh, our guests Ori Eisen, and one of his lessons was taking proper vacations is a must.

[00:20:16] Jeffery Wang: Oh, yes.

[00:20:18] Siebe Vanderzee: And to be honest, that sounds right. That makes sense. It’s something that I would tell people and consistently, but to tell you the truth, I haven’t been on vacation for more than two years and I’m fine.

I’m not worried. I’m right. But if you think about that, that’s why I bring it up if you think about, but you really should a break. It’s not just, you know, okay. It’s time. I have to take up so many weeks per year. No, you really have to reserve time. And when I spoke with Ori Eisen about that during the podcast as well, he made the point to me that this is not just, Hey, it sounds good.

Just, you know, take a break. have to, you have to include that. And that’s something that, I told my wife, we’re going to do, we’re going to think of vacation.

[00:21:06] Robert Hossary: Okay. Excellent.

[00:21:07] Jeffery Wang: bite. Um, banish psychic vampires. So, this is, uh, there’s one of the earlier lessons, uh, from, uh,

Alphonso. This is probably yet to start the journey. Now agree with it enough. I mean, you realize that, you know, amount of time that of us have is finite, and we have to choose where we spend, we spend our time with.

Um, what I’ve, what I learned from that lesson is to surround myself with so many good people that are just don’t have time for bad people. And it’s incredible what has done for me personally, in my mental health, in my, just my wellbeing. And it’s interesting when you, you’re somebody that’s surrounded by good people, you tend to attract other good people.

I can’t stress enough how much it’s actually done for me in terms of just, just my life. Um, but yeah, that was one really stood out from the beginning. That said there was so different lessons that I resonated strongly with. Um, but it’s the one that really made me change my behaviour.

[00:22:10] Robert Hossary: And Diana, we’re putting you on the spot. You’ve just joined us. We said here’s 50 episodes. Go listen to him and tell us what you want.

[00:22:19] Diana White: That’s so that’s okay, have one, but really quickly what I want to, I want to go to Robert what you said about. Uh, listening for comprehension empathy. And I want to give you a really quick example. It’s the difference between saying I heard you say you’re in I have an aspirin and I feel your pain I’ve had that pain. And if you trust me, maybe try this because I tried it and it worked. That’s the difference. the two, right. Um, I tell you, and this lesson. It resonated with me for several reasons. So, it was the Brad Casper episode. and. I’ll you a little background really quickly. I am a New York girl. I was born and raised in the Bronx. I’ve only been in Arizona for 19, 20 years Um, and I’m a lot older than I look. So, I’ve been here a while and I was raised there for a while. Right. And, when I was growing up, there, there were no. There were there were no classes, there were no people that were telling my pocket of the community, how you should invest, how you should handle your money.

You know, what are stocks? What, what is this world about? it wasn’t until I started working for Barnes and Noble in Manhattan, that I would talk to customers and find out what they were reading and why they were reading it. And I had a gentleman talk to me about stock and he said, It’s a good investment. If you don’t know how to read financials and figure out a company’s fiscal health, then start with products and services that you know, and love and use because chances are, if you love them, other people love them. if you invest a little bit of money in that, and then learn along the way, how to start to read a company’s financial health, then you can be a good investor.

And. My first stock ever was dial soap. And so, when I listened to Brad’s podcast, it was just full circle because I, I did not know this man was connected to this in any way, shape, or form. And then he starts spouting this wisdom. one of the things that just stuck with me, because I see it in my life almost every day is, leadership is not a title. That was the biggest one. You can have a person in a room that has every title, and every, uh, you know, letter and acronym after their name and there’ll be someone else that, doesn’t have anything, they exude leadership qualities. People gravitate towards them. That is what has happened to me throughout life. Uh, and to this day, I was still, in a room. I did a podcast one time, years, ago. the soundbite that she used was me being, um, glib and saying something to the effect of, um, why are you bothering me about this? I’m sitting here trying to eat my bagel, you know, can I just eat my bagel please?

But that is the thing People can sense when someone isn’t afraid to take charge or to give advice or to help chip in to make a solution. Right. And I got chills when he said, because I said that, is so true. That is my life. And it’s not even something I have to implement. It’s on me. It’s being impressed upon me just about every day. so that’s my away.

[00:25:46] Robert Hossary: But that’s great. I don’t think any of us would disagree with any, anything that any of us have just said, because I think Jeff, you said, these are all powerful, powerful lessons that we got out there, uh, and there’s more to come. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got more, wonderful guests, more academics, more great successful businesspeople.

More journalists, more authors, all of this to come. So, make sure you do subscribe to us and keep sending in these comments, keep talking to us and we will respond. I would like to finish up now just by posing some of the questions that we received from our audience regarding some of our episodes.

These aren’t very flowery and very complimentary, but they do deserve an answer. So, this one is for Siebe. It’s actually for you Siebe, it’s for, your episode and Ralph Joseph asks, ” How do I get over it? When I keep getting knocked back for job interviews, LinkedIn is full of motivational posts about not giving up.

It’s not that easy to get over it, I try, but it’s hard with every knockback” and this is from your lesson. Get over It, don’t create mental barriers for yourself. Now, before you answer, I’m going to say to Ralph.

I’m I think you’ve misunderstood the lesson, Ralph, uh, I, I don’t believe that Siebe just said get over it.

You forgot the second part of that. Don’t create mental barriers for yourself and you have obviously, well, I can’t say that it looks like you may have created these mental barriers for yourself. and that’s, what’s dragging you down every time you get a knock back, but that’s my take on it Siebe.

[00:27:33] Siebe Vanderzee: You want the short answer or the medium?

[00:27:37] Robert Hossary: We’re running out of time. So, let’s go with the short answer.

[00:27:40] Siebe Vanderzee: Get over it or what part of get over it didn’t you get? Now, I do want to add my, one of my lessons when I was interviewed don’t judge, until you understand, and I do want to make. Inclusive with get over it because I don’t know this individual. I don’t want to judge people and many people are in a tough situation, financially, job wise. So, for me to say to everyone, you know, oh, just get over it. That’s of course not what I have in mind. So, I appreciate you talk about don’t create mental barriers, but if you think about a job search situation is frustrating, especially when you go through interviews and you don’t get the job.

If especially if you go through multiple interviews and you don’t get the job. That is tough, it hurts. It hurts like hell. At the same time for me as a recruiter and trying to be supportive, I have to tell people to get over it. Perhaps you were not the right fit for that job, perhaps, uh, you didn’t present yourself in the right way.

There are ways to make adjustments and that’s part of getting over it. It doesn’t mean forget about it, but what can you do the next time to be more successful? And there could be so many elements and that’s not something we want to get into right now. But the important part is I think when you have whatever level of failure, yes, you can be upset and, rightly so, and, and talk to your family members about that.

But preferably the following day. Back to normal. If you have success and you are in business and you have a great success transaction, yes you celebrate. And you enjoy that again with your family and your colleagues, the following day, get back to normal because you’re supposed to be successful, and you will run into situations where unfortunately you’re not successful.

So here I go, don’t lose hope, but ultimately, and I learned this in a way the tough way, get over it. But I mean it in a constructive way. Thank you.

[00:29:56] Robert Hossary: No, you, you do. Uh, and I think that’s, that’s a great answer. we’ve got a few, but we are running out of time. So, I’m going to go jump straight into, the one for you Diana.

Because I think this is an important one. So, Gerald Garrad, has emailed us saying, “Giving ultimatums at work. Isn’t a good idea. This advice is pretty radical”. Now he was talking about your lesson, be prepared to walk away, and be prepared that no one will stop you. I think he, again, like ralph, I think he has misunderstood your lesson.

[00:30:31] Diana White: I feel like it’s very rare that somebody misunderstands, right. They, they hear something from their own prism, their own lens. they understood it, but they understood it from their own life experiences. And, and from my life experiences, what I have discovered is, if first of all, everybody is disposable.

Everybody. I mean, I, I, I really hate to say this, but never going to be a time where you say, oh, how, how will we go on without person? Right. There’s somebody else to take your place. Right? so if you’re in a situation, in the workplace where we spend so much time. Where things are not ideal for you personally, for whether it doesn’t align with your own values, whatever the case may be. You have the opportunity to talk to someone right? First you talk it out. I’m not saying that you say, oh, this is for the birds. Let me just pack it up, take my stapler and go. Try to have a conversation. But if you know that nothing’s going to change and you’re still going to be feeling the same way you need to take action.

And that action is not going to be change or I’m walking. Because nine times out of 10, they’re going to help you pack your bag and help you tie your shoelaces. Right. What this is, is you have to be responsible for your own decisions in your own life and your own happiness and fulfillment. that means that you need to make a plan A through Z, this doesn’t work out, then prepare, make your plan, but don’t use your job or your relationship or your money or your power as leverage.

Um, because. won’t work. Even if it works at that moment, it’s not sustainable.

[00:32:27] Robert Hossary: That is so true. Look, ladies and gentlemen, life is a choice. You choose every path you take. It’s your choice it within your power. I know that some of you would say all, but Rob, you know, this, this is outside of my control. It’s a choice. Once you understand, it’s a choice. You can then choose the path you want to be on.

Now. It might not be a good path. I’ll grant you that. You that you might not have the wherewithal you might not have the resources to be on the best path, but it’s a path you choose. And that is something that’s a start. So, I agree with you, Diana. We could talk for hours. I think, we’ve come to the end of our time.

 I do want to respond to a tweet from Solomon the wise, uh, regarding Alan Kilfoyle’s episode and his lesson. You can recover Solomon. The wise says, ” Can you recover from everything?” Yes, Solomon, you can. A lot of our guests, including my, probably one of my favourites, Andrew Tyndale’s lesson, this too shall pass.

Nothing lasts forever, buddy. It’s going to go away, and you will have to make a choice to either let it affect you for the rest of your life or let it go. So, with that, I would like to thank. you all for participating today, I’d like to thank our audience for supporting us and being there for us. You can be there for us even more by subscribing to our YouTube channel, subscribing to our podcast on your favourite podcast app, you can be there for us by leaving us reviews, leaving us comments, keep sending us these emails.

And so, before we sign off one final thought from everybody.

[00:34:19] Siebe Vanderzee: well, if I can start here, um, uh, it, it’s a, it’s a group. Exercise for us who are putting this together to podcast. It sounds like our guests appreciate that, but I also think, Hmm. do you say that the best is yet to come? We are in our first year. We have excitement. We have plans for the future to expand it.

Um, and I hope, of course our listeners will continue to support us. The numbers are steadily going up. We know that the, the analytics are there, we still have ways to go. And I hope that our audience, our listeners will help us by giving suggestions ideas perhaps even refer us to future guests.

Why not? Uh, we’re open, right? This is not political. It’s not commercial. We want to talk, you know, Robert, you said best to interesting people about their interesting experiences.

[00:35:21] Robert Hossary: Jeff.

[00:35:23] Diana White: Um, I’m just happy to be here. That’s all I got to say.

[00:35:28] Robert Hossary: Thank you, Diana.

[00:35:30] Jeffery Wang: Well, look, I’m not all that different. I I’m, I’m just happy to come along for the ride. And you know, for me, I’ve just learned tons, uh, from our guests, from a fellow host, there is just so much to wisdom that there is to know, you know, and part of it is, is learning new things. But other part is actually just to confirm the things that we’ve already known to be true. I think sometimes it’s good to get that confirmation from somebody that you respect, from somebody that we consider as wise. what I’m really excited about is going forward. We are going to be talking to even more people all sorts of interesting places, you know, as we discovered that wisdom could be found unusual places.

And I like to continually challenge my own blind spots to understand and grapple with this world bit better, you know, so I hope to be a little bit wiser lesson by lesson, and look forward to this journey ahead.

[00:36:24] Robert Hossary: That’s great. I’d like to thank our supporter for this entire season.

The professional development forum. Without your help without your support and without your resources, we would not be 50 episodes in, so thank you PDF and I encourage you all to go and visit PDF at professionaldevelopmentforum.org and see what they’re offering and. Join their mailing list. Everything they offer is free and it will help the upcoming executives, of the next generation.

So, thank you again for your support on that PDF. And with that, I would like to, again, thank our audience on behalf of the entire team. Without you. We probably would’ve stopped 10 episodes into this series, but you encouraged us. You kept, you kept listening, you kept writing and we want you to keep doing that. And with that, I would like to say thank you and see you at the next episode of 10 lessons. It took me 50 years to learn.

 

 

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum, which office insights, community or discussions, podcasts, parties, anything you want here, but they’re unique and it’s all free online. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com that’s podcast, 10 number one zero, lessons learned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

50th Episode with Diana White-Siebe Van Der Zee-Jeffery Wang-Robert Hossary

50th Episode of 10 Lessons it Took Me 50 Years to Learn

Well we made it to 50 Episodes! That's 500 lessons that we have shared with the world. In this episode we share some of your feedback and comments. Thank you for supporting us and making this possible. Hosted by Diana White, Siebe Van Der Zee, Jeffery Wang and Robert Hossary

Let’s Celebrate this Milestone

Special thanks goes out to Dr Duff Watkins, Rider Antwi, Yi Wang, Joshua Ntanu.

Thank you to our season supporter The Professional Development Forum. Your support and resources have helped make this happen. Please visit PDF at https://professionaldevelopmentforum.org/.

And a very big thank you to all our guests. Your wisdom is helping to make the world a wiser place lesson by lesson.

50th Episode 

[00:00:07] Robert Hossary: Hello, and welcome to this Special 50th episode of “10 lessons it took me 50 years to learn”. We’re very excited to bring this to you today, and I am not going to take up any more of your time. I’m just going to pass over to the rest of my esteemed hosts so they can introduce themselves. And let’s start with our newest host to 10 lessons. Diana White.

[00:00:33] Diana White: Hello everybody. I’m Diana White. I am the CEO of Chandler Innovations Incubator in Chandler Arizona. I also have a myriad of other titles, but we’ll save that for another day.

[00:00:45] Siebe Vanderzee: Great. My name is Siebe Van Der Zee I have the easy name. And uh, I’m involved in global executive search and performance coaching. Very happy to be part of this podcast. And obviously as we talk, we’ll, uh, we’ll find out more about each other.

[00:01:02] Jeffery Wang: My name is Jeffrey Wang and I’m the founder of the Professional Development Forum. I’m very excited to be part of this team and, uh, certainly excited for what we’re about to achieve together.

[00:01:14] Robert Hossary: And I’m Robert Hossary in a nutshell. I’m a father, a husband, a son, a brother. I’ve been a CEO. I’ve been a regional vice-president, I’m a consultant. I’m a chair. I’m on a board of directors. Basically. I’ve done a lot of shit. and I’m still here. But one thing that we’ve all got in common is that we are all here to share what we have learned and to share our experiences With you, that’s what this is all about. So welcome to our 50th episode and thank you again for tuning in and being with us. I’d like to also, quickly, take this opportunity to acknowledge the rest of our team. Dr. Duff Watkins, who is also one of our hosts, Duff can’t be with us today. But we’d also like to thank the behind-the-scenes people, the people that actually help make this all happen.

Yi Wang. Thank You Yi. Rider Antwi, thank you Rider for everything you’ve done from the very beginning and Joshua, uh, I’ve got to get this right Ntanu Thank you, Joshua. Okay. So, we’ve been doing this show now for 50 episodes and you have loved it. You’ve written to us. You’ve told us stuff that you’ve enjoyed.

You’ve told us stuff you haven’t enjoyed, and we’re going to share some of that with you today and hopefully We want you to keep doing that? let’s start off with some comments we got, we had Steve Zylstra on, as a guest and John Koop wrote to us after we did that “Great interview, an amazing concept interviewing smart business owners that have acquired more than knowledge. They’ve acquired wisdom. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with us. I just joined the Arizona technology council. And it’s good to see that the top of this organization is passionate yet. Humble. And great questions Siebe”. John says you posed some great questions. I mean, that’s, great praise.

And Steve was a great guest, too. They had some great lessons. here’s one for you, Diana, from Sophia Lovasz is, “Thank you for sharing these life lessons. Very informative, and allows me to self-reflect”. This is on the episode that Siebe interviewed you, for us Diana, but that’s an important point.

What we do helps. you Think about how these lessons apply to you and helps you. Self-reflect that’s really what it’s all about. we’ll discuss these in a moment. I just want to share one or two others if you don’t mind. people before we go on. we have, Ralph Romulus Frondoza this is on an episode that we did with, Guillaume Lucci,

“True grassroots, personal relationships hire the right people. And then you, as they manager make them successful. This is golden wisdom” says, Ralph. I agree. It is. okay.

This is a bit self-serving but Grant Brown, Grant Brown a comment on our wisdom episode. “I enjoyed this episode, the philosophical question to pose and good points put forward by all speakers. But you Robert Hossary, you sir are as wise as Yoda”. Well, what can I say? What can I say? Yeah. There’s a reason why I put this up here. Um,

[00:04:38] Jeffery Wang: Very wise you, are

[00:04:42] Robert Hossary: I won’t do it. we have a few others I’ll get to them later, but one that I’ll, I’ll just throw to you, Diana, because we’ve discussed this, and I just want to get your reaction on camera. Wanda Costen, great thoughtful and encouraging advice. This is for your episode, with Siebe tell us a bit about Wanda.

[00:05:02] Diana White: Oh, my goodness. So, Everyone. Uh, Robert is trying to get me to run my eyeliner and cry. It won’t happen. Uh, Dr. Costen, Dr. Costen is, an amazing, amazing woman. And I met her when I was on the Northern Arizona university campus she became, I feel like one of my greatest mentors and one of the reasons why she was so pivotal for me is because gave me the truth. and, and sometimes it wasn’t in my favour, but it was what I needed to hear. And she was so wise and is so very practical and fun, and broke my heart when she, uh, took another position in Canada. that’s not just a jaunt, right? just pop over.

but I was totally surprised that she had watched my podcast. And for someone that I think, uh, she’s a west point graduate. She’s an amazing woman. I think that she is what I aspire to be. And she’s saying that she learned things from you can’t get any better than that.

[00:06:10] Robert Hossary: but isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that what we’re all about?

[00:06:13] Diana White: Yeah.

[00:06:16] Robert Hossary: So, we, we have people who tune into this show. Who are themselves potential guests, but even they are learning something from us. And you’ve got to appreciate the fact that what we are doing is making the world a better place lesson by lesson. So, there’s a comment here that we got from Moses Koyabe and. I love this because Moses made me actually go and Google. What the hell this thing was because I didn’t understand his comment. So “Wisdom is like the baobab tree. No one individual can embrace it. Thank you for this session. I walk away a little wiser after touching your baobab tree”.

So originally, I looked at it and went, it’s not something I would say, but when I checked out what the baobab tree is, and if you haven’t, please go and have a look. It’s one of the largest, it is the largest tree in the world. And as he says, no one individual can embrace it because there’s no way you’re going to get your arms around it.

And Moses is spot on because wisdom is like that. There is no all-encompassing wisdom. But there are little bits of wisdom, and you can only touch certain bits at a time and that’s what we’re doing. So, thank you, Moses. I really, really like this, analogy and we are now wise for touching your baobab tree.

It still doesn’t sound

[00:07:47] Jeffery Wang: That doesn’t sound right.

[00:07:48] Robert Hossary: doesn’t sound right, there you go. So, any comments, any comments on any of these so far?

[00:07:58] Jeffery Wang: What I love about these comments and these guests and the, the episodes that we’ve had is just how international, our episodes are in that, you know, there is so much different, sources of wisdom that were drawn from, I mean, from anything from native American To, Indian, immigrants to America or, all the way across into Australia.

And, you know, we suddenly have that Dutch influence, sprinkle throughout the episodes. Because of that, I now know. what a baobab tree is, which are Google after this mind you. Um,

Um, so yes. Yes, I’ve just enjoyed the variety cultures and, and how, what that actually brought to this whole, whole entire experience

[00:08:46] Robert Hossary: Yeah. What do you reckon?

[00:08:48] Siebe Vanderzee: Well, I, I, what I find interesting, as I learn more about our guests is that there is typically a second or a third story attached to these individuals. It’s one thing to say, he or she is successful in this particular industry or category, but then you learn and that happens, I guess, too many people, not all that they are also involved in other activities that are quite impressive. Could be helping people that are disadvantaged. It could be, fundraising for a certain cause. But it’s not typically the story that you hear about these individuals, but it’s there. And, and so you learn more. Well with all due respect, simply the lessons of wisdom, which is significant by itself.

But then there is the additional story of the individual. And, I can think of many people that, uh, we have had as a guest. There is a secondary and perhaps tertiary story attached to that individual. Very powerful.

[00:09:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Diana, what do you think of these comments?

[00:09:57] Diana White: I, I think the comments are amazing. I think that, when you put something out there, whether it, you know, it’s a piece of yourself, or you’re the host, and you’re trying to, bring forth the best wisdom possible to get that feedback and those comments and questions shows the engagement. It almost as if, if you’re having a conversation with another person and they talk back with you, you’re being heard. Well, we’re having a conversation with the world they’re talking back to us and they’re telling us that we hear you. And I think that’s amazing. I think that’s amazing.

[00:10:33] Robert Hossary: I couldn’t agree more, man. We heard in over 60 countries around the world so far, uh, it really is wonderful that, we’ve got listeners in so many countries and they’re writing to us. I, I agree with you. Uh, I’ll just read a few more of these, Susan Watts, “Hands down the best episode yet, and they’re all outstanding”.

She’s talking about the Vikas Tiku episode. I found wishing I had the opportunity to work for Vikas”. Well, Vikas if you’re listening, Susan Watts wants a job. Give us a call. We’ll put you in touch, but she’s right. I mean, you know, his leadership style came across so clearly in that interview, but more than that, the fact that someone listened to a leader of an organization and said that is the type of person that I want to be with.

She heard he’s lessons. She understood his character. that’s wonderful. Another one for Diana, two words from, uh, Debra Friednash. “Love it”. There you go. And here’s one from, one of our guests, uh, Bill Guy. So, William Guy. He’s following us. Bill, I know that you’re listening or watching this a thank you for being a guest.

Thank you for helping us launch this thing as one of our first guests. But Bill has a comment here and I want to discuss this with you. “I hope this “borrowed wisdom””. He says, “I hope this “borrowed wisdom” helps others in the knowledge they need to make the world a better place”. Yeah, I love that comment one because of the humility, uh, and two, because he’s so spot on, but you know, that’s what we’re trying to do and what I’ve heard from, and I’d like to also pose this to you, Diana, but what I’ve heard and Jeff and Siebe can elaborate before you answer what I’ve heard from a lot of guests that we’ve had is thank you.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity as a guest to put my thoughts down, to consolidate the things that I truly believe in, or at least 10 of the things I truly believe in. Gentlemen, what do you think before Diana answers?

[00:12:50] Siebe Vanderzee: Jeff, go ahead.

[00:12:51] Jeffery Wang: All right. Yeah, absolutely. I couldn’t agree with you more. many of my guests, it, for them it’s the first they’ve actually sat down and took stock of their life reflected on life and to give back, you know, the wisdom that had garnered from their lives. And certainly, I think through the experienced, they enjoyed it immensely because they realize that this, like you said, Rob was something that we were truly, truly passionate about.

I, I see that flow through so many these episodes, you know, there are certainly lessons that I, know, that me personally. resonate very, very strongly as it took me the same amount of time to learn, know, and all throughout this whole experience, I’d be listening to episodes telling myself, kicking myself, thinking, God, I wish I knew this 20 years ago. And I guess in, in some respects, you know, that is the reason why we’re all doing this because we all wish we knew this and, and somebody listening out there. Actually, are getting it 20 years before they, they would have otherwise learned some of this stuff. So, is why we’re doing this?

[00:13:57] Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, I, I fully agree, uh, Jeffrey with what you’re saying. had multiple guests that after the recording came back and said, that was a good exercise. For me, for them as a guest one individual, I have to think of, uh, I actually recorded the podcast while he was on a yacht in the Mediterranean, uh, on a Saturday afternoon, he was out on vacation his family and, he made an effort to, uh, to be the guest. But what really stuck with me is that afterwards. And again, I’m thinking, well, this is now, you know, well into the evening, uh, in, in, uh, in the Mediterranean in Europe. He sent me an email message, uh, expressing exactly what we’re talking about, how helpful it was to him and how much he enjoyed thinking about his 10 lessons, because we can say, oh, 10 lessons that’s easy. How many do you need? 20 ,30. if you really sit down and say, okay, I’m going to present this to the world as we do. Yes, it takes some time. You want to think it through. It comes back. And in a way, it came as a surprise to many of us as something that they appreciate. We appreciate it, the audience appreciates it, the guests typically appreciated that as well.

And that was a very nice, additional benefit that we got out of it.

[00:15:27] Robert Hossary: Now we’ve all been guests on this and. audience you haven’t heard Jeff or my episode because they’re coming, but Diana, as a guest, how did those 10 lessons, make you feel when you had to put them down? How did you feel doing that?

[00:15:43] Diana White: Well, it was easy, uh, to come up with the lessons. They’re more mantras for me than lessons. So, it was easy to come up with them. I will tell you, when I left retail and I went into this new path, new career, we had, a guest that talked about you’ll have several careers in your lifetime. Uh, when I went into this new career, it put me in the spotlight a little bit and I’ve been interviewed on the news. I’ve been on other podcasts, so many different things, and man, it was cringeworthy. I didn’t even want to look at it. I didn’t want to hear it again. And let’s just get this over with and. One, it makes a difference that, uh, Siebe made me so comfortable, but when I went back to review it again, uh, the narcissist that I am, because I have to look at it several times. Right. of the things that I realized is, my confidence, my demeanour, it all came from the fact that I truly, truly believe in and abide by those rules. I wasn’t making anything up. That wasn’t my life. That is me. Those examples were from my real life, and it was so easy it was so comfortable, and I don’t cringe when I watch or listen to my episode because is, I think the truest reflection of me that I’ve ever seen, uh, to date.

So, it was, it was powerful in one sense to be outside of myself and look at that person on the screen and say, wow, she truly does have something to impart. and, and that, that confidence can’t be taken away once, once given. So, I loved it.

[00:17:28] Robert Hossary: That’s wonderful.

[00:17:29] Diana White: I loved it.

[00:17:31] Robert Hossary: That is what we’re all about and you’re right. your episode was wonderful. You, the rest of our guests are authentic and that’s what we do. We talk to as Siebe, put it at the very first episode, we’re going to talk to interesting people about their, interesting experiences. And that’s what we’re doing.

There are no sales gurus who are going to show you techniques and tricks, and tips. They’re going to tell you, as Jeff said, what you should know, and what you wished you would have known when you were younger. Oh, look, thank you, Diane. Thank you everyone. This is, that was really, really good.

 I want to move on to questions that were posed to us, but before we get to there, I personally am curious. I’m going to ask you to limit your answers to maybe one. Out of the 50 episodes we’ve done. Can you name a lessons so far? Because I’m sure there’s going to be others that will displace it, but so far that has just made you go, wow.

And that you have implemented not just something that you went oh, that’s clever, but that you have implemented. Just to give you some time to think I will start off. There’s a lot of them, and I’m not saying this because you’re there Diane, or I’m saying this because it’s true. I’ve been in business for 40 years.

I still consider myself a sales professional. I was taught how to listen when I sell, I was taught how to listen for buying signals. That’s not what you said. You said, listen for comprehension and empathy. And that made me stop and look at what I was doing and going, I am not listening to people.

I am trying to sell them something. That’s what I was taught to do. So, thank you, Diana. I now listen for comprehension. I listened to understand what is being said to me. And not what I can use against you to sell you something I want. So that, to me so far, there’s been a lot of great lessons, but that’s, uh, that’s one of the top on my list that I have implemented.

So, I just want to say that publicly. so, I got your ball rolling. Let’s uh, let’s point a finger. Siebe you’re next.

[00:19:54] Siebe Vanderzee: Well, what a way to start. we’re talking roughly 500 lessons, right? So, uh, so which one, and, when you say, which one do you want to adopt and make a change in your life?

I have to think of, uh, our guests Ori Eisen, and one of his lessons was taking proper vacations is a must.

[00:20:16] Jeffery Wang: Oh, yes.

[00:20:18] Siebe Vanderzee: And to be honest, that sounds right. That makes sense. It’s something that I would tell people and consistently, but to tell you the truth, I haven’t been on vacation for more than two years and I’m fine.

I’m not worried. I’m right. But if you think about that, that’s why I bring it up if you think about, but you really should a break. It’s not just, you know, okay. It’s time. I have to take up so many weeks per year. No, you really have to reserve time. And when I spoke with Ori Eisen about that during the podcast as well, he made the point to me that this is not just, Hey, it sounds good.

Just, you know, take a break. have to, you have to include that. And that’s something that, I told my wife, we’re going to do, we’re going to think of vacation.

[00:21:06] Robert Hossary: Okay. Excellent.

[00:21:07] Jeffery Wang: bite. Um, banish psychic vampires. So, this is, uh, there’s one of the earlier lessons, uh, from, uh,

Alphonso. This is probably yet to start the journey. Now agree with it enough. I mean, you realize that, you know, amount of time that of us have is finite, and we have to choose where we spend, we spend our time with.

Um, what I’ve, what I learned from that lesson is to surround myself with so many good people that are just don’t have time for bad people. And it’s incredible what has done for me personally, in my mental health, in my, just my wellbeing. And it’s interesting when you, you’re somebody that’s surrounded by good people, you tend to attract other good people.

I can’t stress enough how much it’s actually done for me in terms of just, just my life. Um, but yeah, that was one really stood out from the beginning. That said there was so different lessons that I resonated strongly with. Um, but it’s the one that really made me change my behaviour.

[00:22:10] Robert Hossary: And Diana, we’re putting you on the spot. You’ve just joined us. We said here’s 50 episodes. Go listen to him and tell us what you want.

[00:22:19] Diana White: That’s so that’s okay, have one, but really quickly what I want to, I want to go to Robert what you said about. Uh, listening for comprehension empathy. And I want to give you a really quick example. It’s the difference between saying I heard you say you’re in I have an aspirin and I feel your pain I’ve had that pain. And if you trust me, maybe try this because I tried it and it worked. That’s the difference. the two, right. Um, I tell you, and this lesson. It resonated with me for several reasons. So, it was the Brad Casper episode. and. I’ll you a little background really quickly. I am a New York girl. I was born and raised in the Bronx. I’ve only been in Arizona for 19, 20 years Um, and I’m a lot older than I look. So, I’ve been here a while and I was raised there for a while. Right. And, when I was growing up, there, there were no. There were there were no classes, there were no people that were telling my pocket of the community, how you should invest, how you should handle your money.

You know, what are stocks? What, what is this world about? it wasn’t until I started working for Barnes and Noble in Manhattan, that I would talk to customers and find out what they were reading and why they were reading it. And I had a gentleman talk to me about stock and he said, It’s a good investment. If you don’t know how to read financials and figure out a company’s fiscal health, then start with products and services that you know, and love and use because chances are, if you love them, other people love them. if you invest a little bit of money in that, and then learn along the way, how to start to read a company’s financial health, then you can be a good investor.

And. My first stock ever was dial soap. And so, when I listened to Brad’s podcast, it was just full circle because I, I did not know this man was connected to this in any way, shape, or form. And then he starts spouting this wisdom. one of the things that just stuck with me, because I see it in my life almost every day is, leadership is not a title. That was the biggest one. You can have a person in a room that has every title, and every, uh, you know, letter and acronym after their name and there’ll be someone else that, doesn’t have anything, they exude leadership qualities. People gravitate towards them. That is what has happened to me throughout life. Uh, and to this day, I was still, in a room. I did a podcast one time, years, ago. the soundbite that she used was me being, um, glib and saying something to the effect of, um, why are you bothering me about this? I’m sitting here trying to eat my bagel, you know, can I just eat my bagel please?

But that is the thing People can sense when someone isn’t afraid to take charge or to give advice or to help chip in to make a solution. Right. And I got chills when he said, because I said that, is so true. That is my life. And it’s not even something I have to implement. It’s on me. It’s being impressed upon me just about every day. so that’s my away.

[00:25:46] Robert Hossary: But that’s great. I don’t think any of us would disagree with any, anything that any of us have just said, because I think Jeff, you said, these are all powerful, powerful lessons that we got out there, uh, and there’s more to come. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got more, wonderful guests, more academics, more great successful businesspeople.

More journalists, more authors, all of this to come. So, make sure you do subscribe to us and keep sending in these comments, keep talking to us and we will respond. I would like to finish up now just by posing some of the questions that we received from our audience regarding some of our episodes.

These aren’t very flowery and very complimentary, but they do deserve an answer. So, this one is for Siebe. It’s actually for you Siebe, it’s for, your episode and Ralph Joseph asks, ” How do I get over it? When I keep getting knocked back for job interviews, LinkedIn is full of motivational posts about not giving up.

It’s not that easy to get over it, I try, but it’s hard with every knockback” and this is from your lesson. Get over It, don’t create mental barriers for yourself. Now, before you answer, I’m going to say to Ralph.

I’m I think you’ve misunderstood the lesson, Ralph, uh, I, I don’t believe that Siebe just said get over it.

You forgot the second part of that. Don’t create mental barriers for yourself and you have obviously, well, I can’t say that it looks like you may have created these mental barriers for yourself. and that’s, what’s dragging you down every time you get a knock back, but that’s my take on it Siebe.

[00:27:33] Siebe Vanderzee: You want the short answer or the medium?

[00:27:37] Robert Hossary: We’re running out of time. So, let’s go with the short answer.

[00:27:40] Siebe Vanderzee: Get over it or what part of get over it didn’t you get? Now, I do want to add my, one of my lessons when I was interviewed don’t judge, until you understand, and I do want to make. Inclusive with get over it because I don’t know this individual. I don’t want to judge people and many people are in a tough situation, financially, job wise. So, for me to say to everyone, you know, oh, just get over it. That’s of course not what I have in mind. So, I appreciate you talk about don’t create mental barriers, but if you think about a job search situation is frustrating, especially when you go through interviews and you don’t get the job.

If especially if you go through multiple interviews and you don’t get the job. That is tough, it hurts. It hurts like hell. At the same time for me as a recruiter and trying to be supportive, I have to tell people to get over it. Perhaps you were not the right fit for that job, perhaps, uh, you didn’t present yourself in the right way.

There are ways to make adjustments and that’s part of getting over it. It doesn’t mean forget about it, but what can you do the next time to be more successful? And there could be so many elements and that’s not something we want to get into right now. But the important part is I think when you have whatever level of failure, yes, you can be upset and, rightly so, and, and talk to your family members about that.

But preferably the following day. Back to normal. If you have success and you are in business and you have a great success transaction, yes you celebrate. And you enjoy that again with your family and your colleagues, the following day, get back to normal because you’re supposed to be successful, and you will run into situations where unfortunately you’re not successful.

So here I go, don’t lose hope, but ultimately, and I learned this in a way the tough way, get over it. But I mean it in a constructive way. Thank you.

[00:29:56] Robert Hossary: No, you, you do. Uh, and I think that’s, that’s a great answer. we’ve got a few, but we are running out of time. So, I’m going to go jump straight into, the one for you Diana.

Because I think this is an important one. So, Gerald Garrad, has emailed us saying, “Giving ultimatums at work. Isn’t a good idea. This advice is pretty radical”. Now he was talking about your lesson, be prepared to walk away, and be prepared that no one will stop you. I think he, again, like ralph, I think he has misunderstood your lesson.

[00:30:31] Diana White: I feel like it’s very rare that somebody misunderstands, right. They, they hear something from their own prism, their own lens. they understood it, but they understood it from their own life experiences. And, and from my life experiences, what I have discovered is, if first of all, everybody is disposable.

Everybody. I mean, I, I, I really hate to say this, but never going to be a time where you say, oh, how, how will we go on without person? Right. There’s somebody else to take your place. Right? so if you’re in a situation, in the workplace where we spend so much time. Where things are not ideal for you personally, for whether it doesn’t align with your own values, whatever the case may be. You have the opportunity to talk to someone right? First you talk it out. I’m not saying that you say, oh, this is for the birds. Let me just pack it up, take my stapler and go. Try to have a conversation. But if you know that nothing’s going to change and you’re still going to be feeling the same way you need to take action.

And that action is not going to be change or I’m walking. Because nine times out of 10, they’re going to help you pack your bag and help you tie your shoelaces. Right. What this is, is you have to be responsible for your own decisions in your own life and your own happiness and fulfillment. that means that you need to make a plan A through Z, this doesn’t work out, then prepare, make your plan, but don’t use your job or your relationship or your money or your power as leverage.

Um, because. won’t work. Even if it works at that moment, it’s not sustainable.

[00:32:27] Robert Hossary: That is so true. Look, ladies and gentlemen, life is a choice. You choose every path you take. It’s your choice it within your power. I know that some of you would say all, but Rob, you know, this, this is outside of my control. It’s a choice. Once you understand, it’s a choice. You can then choose the path you want to be on.

Now. It might not be a good path. I’ll grant you that. You that you might not have the wherewithal you might not have the resources to be on the best path, but it’s a path you choose. And that is something that’s a start. So, I agree with you, Diana. We could talk for hours. I think, we’ve come to the end of our time.

 I do want to respond to a tweet from Solomon the wise, uh, regarding Alan Kilfoyle’s episode and his lesson. You can recover Solomon. The wise says, ” Can you recover from everything?” Yes, Solomon, you can. A lot of our guests, including my, probably one of my favourites, Andrew Tyndale’s lesson, this too shall pass.

Nothing lasts forever, buddy. It’s going to go away, and you will have to make a choice to either let it affect you for the rest of your life or let it go. So, with that, I would like to thank. you all for participating today, I’d like to thank our audience for supporting us and being there for us. You can be there for us even more by subscribing to our YouTube channel, subscribing to our podcast on your favourite podcast app, you can be there for us by leaving us reviews, leaving us comments, keep sending us these emails.

And so, before we sign off one final thought from everybody.

[00:34:19] Siebe Vanderzee: well, if I can start here, um, uh, it, it’s a, it’s a group. Exercise for us who are putting this together to podcast. It sounds like our guests appreciate that, but I also think, Hmm. do you say that the best is yet to come? We are in our first year. We have excitement. We have plans for the future to expand it.

Um, and I hope, of course our listeners will continue to support us. The numbers are steadily going up. We know that the, the analytics are there, we still have ways to go. And I hope that our audience, our listeners will help us by giving suggestions ideas perhaps even refer us to future guests.

Why not? Uh, we’re open, right? This is not political. It’s not commercial. We want to talk, you know, Robert, you said best to interesting people about their interesting experiences.

[00:35:21] Robert Hossary: Jeff.

[00:35:23] Diana White: Um, I’m just happy to be here. That’s all I got to say.

[00:35:28] Robert Hossary: Thank you, Diana.

[00:35:30] Jeffery Wang: Well, look, I’m not all that different. I I’m, I’m just happy to come along for the ride. And you know, for me, I’ve just learned tons, uh, from our guests, from a fellow host, there is just so much to wisdom that there is to know, you know, and part of it is, is learning new things. But other part is actually just to confirm the things that we’ve already known to be true. I think sometimes it’s good to get that confirmation from somebody that you respect, from somebody that we consider as wise. what I’m really excited about is going forward. We are going to be talking to even more people all sorts of interesting places, you know, as we discovered that wisdom could be found unusual places.

And I like to continually challenge my own blind spots to understand and grapple with this world bit better, you know, so I hope to be a little bit wiser lesson by lesson, and look forward to this journey ahead.

[00:36:24] Robert Hossary: That’s great. I’d like to thank our supporter for this entire season.

The professional development forum. Without your help without your support and without your resources, we would not be 50 episodes in, so thank you PDF and I encourage you all to go and visit PDF at professionaldevelopmentforum.org and see what they’re offering and. Join their mailing list. Everything they offer is free and it will help the upcoming executives, of the next generation.

So, thank you again for your support on that PDF. And with that, I would like to, again, thank our audience on behalf of the entire team. Without you. We probably would’ve stopped 10 episodes into this series, but you encouraged us. You kept, you kept listening, you kept writing and we want you to keep doing that. And with that, I would like to say thank you and see you at the next episode of 10 lessons. It took me 50 years to learn.

 

 

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum, which office insights, community or discussions, podcasts, parties, anything you want here, but they’re unique and it’s all free online. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com that’s podcast, 10 number one zero, lessons learned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

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