Tere Derbez – Don’t expect anything from anyone.

Siebe Vanderzee: Hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, the podcast where we talk to leaders, experts, extraordinary individuals from all over the world to uncover the lessons that have shaped their careers, their lives, and perhaps their business. The goal of our program is very simple, making the world a little wiser.
One lesson at the time. My name is Siebe Vanderzee and I’m your host. I’m based in Phoenix, Arizona, in the beautiful Grand Canyon state where I’m also known as the Dutchman in the desert.
Our guest today is Tere Derbez Tere was born and raised in Mexico. She’s a well-known artist with a lifelong passion for both painting and writing.
Her artwork has appeared at exhibitions in Mexico, United States, Canada. Spain and [00:01:00] in France. Interestingly, terrace started her career as an entrepreneur in the textile industry. She studied public accounting, got a master’s degree in education, a PhD in psychology and counselling. But then at some point in her career, Tere’s true passion for painting and writing took over, and she decided to dedicate her time to her lifelong passion.
Always looking for new forms and techniques of expression. In other words, Tere is very creative. She did not only become an artistic painter, but she also became a successful writer. She writes article for two weekly Mexican newspapers and for a monthly magazine, named in hos. Tere has also written two books with poems and a novel named El Hel de Sophia, the angel of Sophia.
What a beautiful name. By the way, that is also the name of her foundation, which is focused on helping young people and adults [00:02:00] from mar marginalized areas. It all sounds wonderful. You can learn a lot more about Terra Debus on our website. 10 lessons learned.com. Hello, Terra buenas dias.
Tere Derbez: Buenas dias. I’m so honored to be here with you Siebe.
Siebe Vanderzee: we are very happy that you’re going to join us, in this conversation about your lessons, but I’m also impressed I did a little bit of background research on your artistic, career, your life. Where is your passion for painting and writing? Where is it coming from?
Tere Derbez: I think that was, I started very young.
I think that I was like,
Siebe Vanderzee: you still are. You still are.
Tere Derbez: Yes, I am. By heart and by age? by age. Chronologically, no, but by age. Yes. But I started when I was probably 10, 11 years. I am already the, or myself, and I was, I start to paint and to draw. [00:03:00] So my mom saw that, and thank God I, I had wonderful parents.
She bought it the first Canvas and she gave it to me with the paintings. So, I start to paint, and I remember that my first painting, real painting was a little baby Jesus, in the, in with two angels. That’s how I started. I really believe in that. And I love to write. I love to talk also. So, I, I started writing since I was very young, making poems and silly things.
when you are young and you just write and now thanks, God, I have been, writing for two newspapers in Mexico, El De San Luis and del Bajio for more than 25 years. Every week.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, it’s amazing how active you are and indeed have been for so many years. How would you describe your painting style? Because what I’ve seen, it’s [00:04:00] very artistic, very colorful, but perhaps you can explain to our audience what your style of painting is.
Tere Derbez: I think that I am, I myself, I am a little surrealistic, so
Siebe Vanderzee: surrealistic.
Yes.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. So, my painting is very, surrealistic. I have some paintings realistic. I have two or three and some religious that I love that part of me and, but I am surrealistic. So, most of my painting is surrealistic and probably because of my Mexican roots, I am very colorful. I love colors. I love, the pink, real pink, the yellow, the orange, but in, in bright colors. So, my paintings are very bright, most of them.
Siebe Vanderzee: I always find it interesting. I’m not an artist by any means, but when I think of artists, I admire who they are. But it’s that moment that inspires people. And it could be any moment of the day or [00:05:00] sometimes any moment of the night that the light goes on and say, oh, I need to either paint this or write this.
Is that something that is part of who you are as an individual that is from within.
Tere Derbez: Yes. Sometimes, I remember once I was traveling, by plane and I always have my notebook to make sketches, and I was drawing a painting of my granddaughter. She was. Five years. Five years. And a guy told me, the guy who was on my next, he said, what are you doing?
I said, I am drawing my granddaughter. And he laughing. He said, I used to bring pictures, and you are painting. So that’s the way. Yeah. something comes to my mind, and I write, or something comes to my mind, and I always have a canvas, empty canvas. Always at home.
Siebe Vanderzee: You’re ready?
Tere Derbez: Yeah.
Siebe Vanderzee: I like it.
of course, we’re going to talk about the 10 lessons that you have learned in your life, in your career. But before we get to the 10 [00:06:00] lessons, I was wondering, if you think about your experience, is there perhaps a lesson that you have learned that you wish you would’ve been able to teach yourself when you were, let’s say, 25 years old?
Tere Derbez: Yes, there are many lessons. One of them is the technology that I now, the technology came, and we don’t, people at my age is harder to know how to use it. So that’s one of the lessons that I would like to have. And the second lesson is to be more. Conscience of the not of the future because I have always lived in the present, but more conscious of what am I going to do when I grow up?
Because sometimes you think, life is so funny that I can tell young people that what they expect from the older when they grow up probably is not what they are dreaming [00:07:00] now. So, the interesting live today.
Siebe Vanderzee: Interesting.
Tere Derbez: Enjoy every day.
Siebe Vanderzee: I like it. And I know in your lessons we’ll come back to some of that, and I look forward to that.

Lesson 1: Life starts with family, and it ends with you.

Siebe Vanderzee: So, let’s take a look at your lessons. I have lesson number one; life starts with family, and it ends with you. What are your thoughts? What are your thoughts on that?
Tere Derbez: I was very lucky because I grew up in a very nice family with very nice parents. No violence, no screaming, no dramas. So, we had dramas of course, because every family has dramas, and every family has some yelling and not good and very good times.
But mine was more the good than the bad. uh, why starts with the family? I think that. When you grow up, you learn all the things that you have to learn from your family. When you keep going on, you [00:08:00] start to have, the teachers, priest, everything that is around you, but the family is the basic.
But what happened with your family, what you learn with the family is your support. Those are your columns.
But if your family wasn’t the nice family, let’s say, because I have seen now in counselling, what you have to think is that life ends with you, not with your family. Not everything that you heard, not everything that you live has to be the same way that you have to live or that you learn. Yeah, I remember my father was very wise and he always told me, don’t trust in anyone not even in me because I am old. I forget some things. I see life different from what you are living. So that’s a lesson that I [00:09:00] want to tell people. live your life.
Take you the good part of your family, but don’t take the part that you don’t like.
Siebe Vanderzee: Very important, very helpful. and of course I’m thinking family. Yes. And I have that same experience with my family at the same time as we both understand, sometimes people grow up. Not in a family that is, let’s say, blood related, but in a community.
And I think it, it works the same way, right? it starts with the people who care, take care of you, who are with you. but as we go through life, you as an individual become the person that drives it.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. Yeah. And you have to move because it’s so easy to say. My parents, my brothers, my, I was poor.
Okay. That was your past. What is your present?
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah,
Tere Derbez: that was your family, but you are not the whole part [00:10:00] of the family, so what are you going to do with your life?
Siebe Vanderzee: I experience in Spanish speaking countries in South America, for example, that if you build friendships, they become Armos brothers.
And I know it’s different. It’s not blood related, but that closeness to recognize, hey, we have a special relationship. And it’s many times referred to as a brother or a sister in the Spanish language especially.
Tere Derbez: Yes. I have one that, she’s not my blood relation, but she’s, my sister.
She, I know that if I. Take the phone, I can call her and cry or laugh or whatever exactly you want, because that’s the way that we grow up. Absolutely.

Lesson 2: How to overcome difficulties in life as a single parent.

Siebe Vanderzee: Let’s move to lesson number two. Yes. How to overcome difficulties in life as a single parent. that’s a tough experience,
Tere Derbez: Yeah, I got divorced when I was 30 years old in a city that is Luis Potosi.
That is not [00:11:00] easy because we were like small society. Even that is a big city. So, when you grow up alone and you have two kids, or three or five or whatever, is not easy to go and. Find the world that you have to live.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: Because, and I am going refer a little about women because women, we grow up.
More women of my age, or even 60 years, eh, we grow up with the idea that we were going to have the prince. everything was going to be solved. You were going to get married. The prince was coming in a beautiful white horse to take you home and when you realize true is different, your family culture is very different from the person that you got married.
And sometimes things don’t work. So, I believe that it’s better to [00:12:00] finish a relationship that is not okay. Even that it has a lot of consequences for your kids and for yourself.
life is not easy. It is not easy for women. Even now I think because you have to take care of your family. In many ways, sometimes, like in my case, I had to support them in all the aspects, money and spirituality and work and things that I had my parents who helped me a lot, but some others don’t have.
So, to go to a world that is designed for men, even now, even that people says no, the liberation and the empowerment of women is not true. We have that feeling. We are mothers and our parents, fathers.
we are parents and we have to take care of our family. [00:13:00] We have to take care of our Or our job, and we have to take care that we usually don’t do when we are young of our spiritual part, even the physical, because now the physic is so important, so everybody goes to the gym and walks and do, and blah, blah, blah.
But the spiritual part is so important, and we don’t see that when we are young that we have to grow up. That part because that’s the only part that you can be sustained. if you don’t believe, I believe in God, and, but if you don’t believe in something solid like that, or universe or whatever you going to say, it is going to be very hard to go not against the world because you don’t have to go against the world, but to flow with the world.
And to flow in a medium where [00:14:00] men sometimes don’t know how to treat you.
Siebe Vanderzee: sure. No, I think, being a single parent, of course it happens, let’s say all over, but people who have not had that experience, perhaps sometimes underestimate how difficult it can be to be a single parent, because it’s. 24 7.
it’s every day, especially with little children. And yes, you have to do your job and yes, you have to communicate with other people, but those children, so I think it’s a very important point to make, the role as a single parent.
Tere Derbez: And the funny thing is that sometimes even if you are men or women, you cannot share the responsibility. That’s the first thing.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: The second thing is that you don’t know how to treat them. Even that you think, and you don’t realize how much can impact that division.
Siebe Vanderzee: [00:15:00] Yeah.
Tere Derbez: Now with this mother need that they have to leave one week with a, with the father in one week with the mother.
I think that is even more hard for both sides and for the kids because they don’t have a place that is secure. No, because when I got divorced, okay. The kids stayed with me, so they saw his father when he wanted, but. In this moment that they have to be one in one. One in one. I think that is really hard for a man or for a woman because we have a lot of emotions when we got divorced or when we split, or when someone dies.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: We have a lot of emotions and sometimes you are so immersed in your own emotions. That you don’t realize the emotions of your kids. No. And it’s very common. [00:16:00]
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, I know. Very important point. It’s almost like we could dedicate a separate podcast just to that topic, right? Yeah.

Lesson 3: Not everything that shines is made of gold.

Siebe Vanderzee: But let’s move on to lesson number three. Not everything that shines is made of gold.
Tere Derbez: That’s true.
Siebe Vanderzee: I like it. But what do you mean with that?
Tere Derbez: Okay. We, and more in this time, we think that beauty, money, be successful, whatever that means. we recognize and have, many portraits or people who call you.
You think that is gold. and sometimes we are so astonished about the car that my friend has or the family that she or he has. And when you realize, when you see, when you go deep, you realize that it’s not true. That is just shining, I shine for society. And [00:17:00] now with all the communications, the Facebook, the blog, all the Instagrams, et cetera.
Of course, when you go there, you don’t show what you really are. You show your beautiful part. Yeah. Vacations, the work. if I got a, something else in my work, I put, I publish. I say it and everybody says, oh my God, look, and I am doing nothing. I feel terrible. That is creating anxiety, depression, et cetera, to many people because you are just watching.
Watching. sorry. What? not what is the reality.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: And also, us, in US, sometimes you think that what you are, I have no wrinkles. Of course I have, but I have no wrinkles. I am beautiful. That’s shining. What is inside you? For me, that’s the most important. So that’s [00:18:00] why I say not everything that shines is gold.

Lesson 4: Seven jobs will bring you 9 misfortunes.

Siebe Vanderzee: It’s a lot of wisdom. I like it. Yeah. Lesson number four. I was curious about that one. Seven jobs will bring you nine misfortunes. I have to figure that one out. Help me out.
Tere Derbez: And I can tell you I’m one, my father always said that because he came as immigrant from France to Mexico long time ago during the revolution, the Mexican Revolution.
Siebe Vanderzee:
Tere Derbez: It was a very interesting life he had, and I remember that he always told me that. And it’s true. If you go, for instance, sometimes we move from a job that is our perfect job because some other person or job tells you that you are going to win 3000, 5,000, 10,000 more, and you move. You realize that two years later they tell you, okay, I don’t need you anymore. [00:19:00]
And probably if you were in the same place where you left, that you left, you would be perfect in that place, and you’d be growing. And it’s the same with business. Some people starts business, and they are growing, and then they want to put another. Because Sure. Or because they see that the guy in front of me, he put tacos.
So, I am going to put tacos too. I sell burgers, but now I am going to sell tacos. And what’s going on is that you miss the essence of you, end of your job. So, when you jump from one place to another. You don’t, in Mexico we say.
you can translate the stone that draws don’t makes the mold.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah. Yeah. So
Tere Derbez: it’s true. If you go and go and go and go, you never make a base. For you and for your [00:20:00] family. It’s
Siebe Vanderzee: very realistic, right? it’s the point that you’re making is that, there are challenges and there are unexpected challenges, and you have to be prepared instead of saying, oh, it’s going to be one step and then next step, and here we go.
things change and unexpectedly sometimes. And, we have seen that. in all of our lives that suddenly things happen, and it changes everything. I can think of many examples of that, but it’s a very good lesson to have and to share.

Lesson 5: Don’t expect anything from anyone.

Siebe Vanderzee: lesson number five, I like it.
Also don’t expect anything from anyone. Does that mean you had a bad experience?
Tere Derbez: Not exactly but experience. But I have experience. I think that when you expect from people, for instance, I usually am very generous. I love to give, and I don’t expect anything.
The truth is that in my deepest, probably I expect something, [00:21:00] even from my kids.
And when you don’t get that. You start feeling like, oh, they don’t love me, or These people don’t take care of me, or I, I am more valuable for this job, and they don’t realize that I am valuable for this job. And so, you start moving in. Remember that your thoughts make your life. So why is better not to expect?
Because if you receive, you just say thank you. And if you don’t receive, you say thank you too. ‘Cause that’s one of the things that I have learned. Not expect anything from anyone. If they give you something welcome and thankful. If they don’t give it welcome and thankful. But it’s hard to learn that, because we’re always like in an interchange, I give you love, you give me love, I give you money, you give me money, I give [00:22:00] you, I take care of you when you are a kid.
Now I want you to take care of me when I grow up. And it is not the way that goes usually.
Siebe Vanderzee: Do you think that there are differences? When it comes to, let’s say, countries or regions? if I think of South America, if I think of United States, it, I get the feeling that in South America, the family is really, I.
Part of your life, whether you’re young or whether you’re old. And that’s not always the case in other countries, Western countries, where it’s more, hey, you got to take care of yourself and, you cannot always rely on your family perhaps. Do you feel the same?
Tere Derbez: Yeah, I think that the cultures are totally different.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: I can tell you because I have been living in both sides, I feel, I don’t say that it’s better or worse, it’s different. In Mexico, for instance, we are more [00:23:00] close even friends if, even if I live outside the country,
Siebe Vanderzee: yeah,
Tere Derbez: and I have something, my friends call me and tell me what happened if you got divorced or if you are sick or whatever, or you lost your job.
Here. People is more, let’s say, in personal, so if you die or you leave, it’s okay. Nothing happens. You know it is your problem, not mine.
Siebe Vanderzee: So, what’s
Tere Derbez: the difference of the cultures that I have?
Siebe Vanderzee: yeah. and that’s obviously there, there are differences, that could be people in South America that don’t connect to their families and in the United States that the family is very tight knit and helping each other.
But yeah, I see cultural differences there as well.

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Siebe Vanderzee: we’re talking today with Tere Derbez a well-known and highly creative artist, with a lifelong passion for both painting and writing, sharing her 10 lessons learned. If you like our podcast and value in our episodes, please [00:24:00] consider supporting 10 lessons learned, whether it is sharing the show with a friend, or leaving a review or checking out our affiliate.
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Lesson 6: Don’t control, let it go.

Siebe Vanderzee: All right. Moving on, Tere Lesson number six. Don’t control. Let it Go. wow. how do you do that?
Tere Derbez: Yeah, a lot of patience and prudence. you have to be calm I am a controller. I have to confess, I am a controller, and I have to learn, and I am learning [00:25:00] how not to take control of everything.
Why? Because there are things that you can control, and the only thing you can control is yourself. If you don’t control yourself,
You are not going to control anyone or anything, any situation that you leave. And one of the things that I have learned and more now that I am coaching is that we have the tendency to control.
I want to control my kids’ life. I want to control my job or my work. I want to control my body. You can do it if you learn to control yourself.
And if you learn that nothing, nothing is to control, you have to flow. It is not easy. It is not easy because we want to have the control because that is ego.
The ego is one of our best parts in the world. the ego, if you [00:26:00] control your ego is going to work on your side. If you don’t control, it’s going to work against you. So that’s the part that we have to control. So please let it go. flow with the universe, flow with the things. Accept. I think that one of the lessons is acceptation.
You have to accept yourself the way you are knowing that you are perfectible not perfect. That you can move to perfection. Probably you will never get there. Maybe when you die, I don’t know, but you can work to be more perfect every day, not the perfection, and that’s the way that you can let it go.
Knowing that, okay, today I made a mistake. I didn’t do a very good job Okay.
Siebe Vanderzee: Oh, you do.
Tere Derbez: Don’t complain with yourself and [00:27:00] don’t say, I am so silly. I knew this answer. And sometimes we are in a, something like this, and when you finish you say, oh, I should say this. I should say that. That is control.
You didn’t say so. You didn’t have to say it, so it’s very hard to not control, but it’s very easy to learn how not to control when you realize that nothing belongs to you, not even yourself.
Siebe Vanderzee: Of course, it’s difficult if you want to help someone, or if you know someone who is working for you is maybe not doing the job correctly, because then you have to advise that person how to do the job.
Or when it comes to a family member with your passion, you want to help that person. But it can sometimes lead to you are controlling that person, right? So, you have to place a boundary somewhere.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. [00:28:00] Yeah. Or he puts the boundaries.
Siebe Vanderzee: That happens too.
Tere Derbez: I don’t want you to tell me what I have to do.
Siebe Vanderzee: Exactly.
Tere Derbez: Okay. Do whatever. I was just trying to save you.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, but I like what you’re saying because it’s important. For me, for you perhaps to put a barrier there and say, okay, I cannot control it. I have to give them space and freedom to do whatever they think is the right thing. And in the end, of course, you can confront them with the results and say, I would’ve advised you to do something differently, but this is how it came out.
And that’s, I think that happens in life every day.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. And what I have learned is that. Not even to tell them when they had the mistake.
Siebe Vanderzee: I know.
Tere Derbez: because that’s very human and I have done many times.
Siebe Vanderzee: I like it. I agree. I agree.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. And I still do it, I think that we have to learn our own lessons.
It’s hard for a [00:29:00] parent, it’s hard for a boss because you know you have done the same mistakes. So, what you don’t want is people to do the same mistakes that you did, but they have to learn by themselves.

Lesson 7: Love is all you need.

Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah. Yeah. And it, it kind leads to lesson number seven. Love is all you need.
Tere Derbez: Yes. I think that I am a passionate of love. I love my life even with all the mistakes, with all the issues that I have had in many ways. But I love what I do. I love who I am, and I love myself, and I think that one of the things that we have learned, because since we grow up, they show us that love is to give love. But to others, not to yourself.
When you start to think and realize [00:30:00] that the only person that born with you and died with you is you, then you start to, to realize that the only person that has to be in love with you is yourself.
Siebe Vanderzee: Interesting.
Tere Derbez: If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love other people. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love what you are doing, and you cannot be passionate because love is passion.
If you are not passionate about what you are doing, even with all the faults, and some days you know that you wake up and you say, my God what, am I doing this work? I don’t know. But then you realize that you are alive, that you have a body, that you can think that thanks God, you have a coffee. So, all that you realize.
And then you start to love yourself and say, okay, I made mistakes. I went in bankruptcy [00:31:00] twice. and maybe this is not my best time. Maybe I have wrinkles, but I love myself and I am happy with me. so, it’s very hard. But I think that love is the only thing. You have to be happy and to believe in yourself.
Siebe Vanderzee: Loving people and people around you and knowing that they feel loved, if they feel happy in their lives, that should give you some satisfaction as well, right? Even if you can. Yeah.
Tere Derbez: I think that if you are like you and me that we are talking and to the public that is listening or is going to listen.
If they go out from this talk without something that make them feel better, then it means that we didn’t do it.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: So that’s what I try when I am with people to give, not the best of me. To give them the best of them. [00:32:00]
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah. I like that.
Tere Derbez: Because everybody has something nice. Everybody has, even people that you see, and you say, oh my gosh.
This guy, I have never seen him once smile. It is because he probably has so much pain inside him that he doesn’t know how to show it. And the only way that he knows to show it is to be grumpy or to be mad, or to be screaming or yelling. and so, when you see that, you say, okay, I’m going to give him something that makes him feel better with him, not Yeah.
Siebe Vanderzee: That’s a good point. It’s a very good point.

Lesson 8: Learn how to use your energy.

Siebe Vanderzee: lesson number eight, learn how to use your energy. How do you do that?
Tere Derbez: Oh my gosh. I have so much energy that I have to control, that I have to control. we have energy, we are energy, we are all energy. And you can feel it. Sometimes you go inside that room or with [00:33:00] a.
Both, or with your husband or your wife or your kids. And even when they come in, you can feel the energy, and you say, oh my gosh, this guy is not good. So how to control your energy. We all have energy. One of the ways is meditating.
The second is breathing. Drill breathing because we don’t know how to breathe.
that’s one of the lessons that people has to learn how to breathe. It is not just as we say, but sometimes you have to take the, take.
Siebe Vanderzee: a deep breath. Take a deep breath,
Tere Derbez: take deep breath, sustain the deep breath. Yes. Then go out and you can do it. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 1, 2, 3, 4. That’s the key. So how to control your energy.
If I feel that I am getting upset, I have [00:34:00] some techniques that is not the case in this moment, but one is breathing. The other is this finger that we say that is not a good finger. The, so just pull the and. Breathe and then that calm you. How to use your energy. Don’t spend your energy in silly things.
I like to go party. Yes, but not every week. Or not drinking like crazy or not smoking, but I don’t have to smoke because that’s wasting energy. So, you want to go? Are you mad? Go and walk If you don’t run walk. That’s the way to waste the energy or to control the energy in a good way. Yeah, and if you use your energy wisdom, you can do a lot of things during all day giving [00:35:00] space to everything that you have to do using the energy that you have to use.
Don’t use the energy to be mad. Use your energy to write, use your energy to exercise, use your energy to cook, to work not to be mad and with a lot of energy in silly things.
Siebe Vanderzee: It’s a very interesting point because I had to think of it, as a recruiter when I interview people. I was taught years ago by my boss.
To pick up the energy. And he always said, it doesn’t mean people talking fast or people talking loudly, but it’s a drive, it’s a passion what is on their mind. And like in your case, being an artist, a painter, that’s part of your passion and I’m sure your energy that goes into that. And I think it’s very relevant for people to be aware of.
The energy that they [00:36:00] carry forward and obviously especially if they’re going through a job interview, but in general, on a daily basis, what drives someone and make sure that they can fill that passion, that they can do the things they want to do in their lives and in their work and with their families.
Tere Derbez: I would like to ask your people How much energy they missed every day complaining or yelling or not trusting.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: So that’s the end.
Siebe Vanderzee: But it, it perhaps it comes with experience for people as they mature in life, that they put things in a bigger perspective, that could happen.
Of course.

Lesson 9: How to love your life as you grow older

Siebe Vanderzee: And if I think about that, looking at lesson number nine, how to love your life as you grow older because. You and I both know that over time things change and your perspective of [00:37:00] life and maybe the job that you have can change. But if I think of our audience, up and coming professionals early in their career, et cetera, et cetera, how does that lesson apply to people, how to love your life as you grow older?
Tere Derbez: I think that getting older is not easy because. we have expected even if you fed yourself with the, all the things that now we can do, thanks God. but the reality is that your inner is getting old. Yeah. and you are growing not only with different changes, physical changes. Yeah. But sometimes you don’t like what you have to accept.
Siebe Vanderzee: Sure
Tere Derbez: and more women because we grow up with the experience that you have to be beautiful always. That you have to be perfect even if you are not so beauty. But [00:38:00] when you get older and you turn your head, you realize that you didn’t do many things that you probably should do if you didn’t do it because.
You didn’t. That’s it. But that’s something that we have to learn when we grow older. I have seen a lot of people of my age or older or younger, that they are feeling like fail, no.
Not happy when they gr when they grow up because they start to focus on the past. In my time. Kids never scream to the parents.
I come her a lot of time and now my grandkids, they are terrible with the parents. And you say, okay, but that was your raise is not this age. So how to grow older, trying to become a wise, older [00:39:00] person knowing that your time is not. It can be this time if you adapt to this time, but it is not what you think that it is.
Siebe Vanderzee:
Tere Derbez: because if you keep thinking that life has to be the way we were, as the song says, we are going to be always unhappy. So, what’s my advice to the young people? Prepare to be older. Prepare to change because not always when I grow up, I thought that my life when I was at this age was going to be very different.
I think that is not because that’s why I am still alive. So, prepare to the changes that you don’t expect, and life is going to put you, what changes, bankruptcies, all the world change. Yeah, the stocks go down. [00:40:00] Anything that they can, your health, you can be sick and prepare not to be sick with two things. Your mind every day say, I am a healthy person, I am happy I affirmations, but with a good memory.
And second thing is. To prepare not only your money, not only your budget, but your health.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: If you grow with energy, if you grow making things that make you happy, you can be forever young.

Lesson 10: The importance of Mindfulness

Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, it’s a great point. It’s a great point. And I’m also curious, looking at lesson number 10. The importance of mindfulness.
And I’m curious, Tere, for our global au audience, what is the true meaning of mindfulness?
Tere Derbez: the true meaning [00:41:00] of mindfulness is carpe diem here and now. That’s it. I know that there’s a lot of, of history and knowledge and et cetera, but the reality is to be mindfulness is that you like this, we are talking, we are face-to-face, and we are not with this phone or doing different things.
And what I have seen, and that’s very important is that in this time. People and kids don’t know how to mindfulness because they are multiple tasks. Yeah. I am multiple tasks since I was born, but when I am doing something, I focus on what I am doing. If I am walking, I take care of how to walk. Yeah. And is incredible.
But every step that I give, I say thank you. thank you. In my mind, and that made me [00:42:00] focus on what I am doing.
Siebe Vanderzee: Interesting.
Tere Derbez: If I am cooking, I have to focus on what I am doing, or I am going to get burned. I just did it last week. So, what is mindfulness? To be in the present, to be in the moment and to spend the time that you have to spend with people.
Watching to the eyes even by Zoom.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: Because now we are so distracted, and kids are so distracted. I am really worried about the new generations because they don’t know how to communicate. They don’t know how to be mindfulness. I am teaching now in, in my counselling with mindfulness and meditation to kids.
Because I think that they really need, when you told me the first question, sorry, maybe I am taking [00:43:00] too much time.
Siebe Vanderzee: No, you’re fine.
Tere Derbez: We, when you told me the first question that what should I change? when I was 25, probably I will change the concept of mindfulness and meditation, because in that time wasn’t important.
Probably we don’t even know it. Yeah, I was in Chaun Learning Tai Chi. But it is one of the ways you know that you can, but they are techniques that you can get it, and I am going to make my publicity in Elevate Excellence Coaching. We can tell you how.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah. And it is self-awareness, right? Being aware of who you are as an individual Yeah.
And how you go through life, like you said, whether you’re walking or cooking or whatever it may be. But to be aware, of who you are and how you connect to other people around you.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. Because we don’t know how to connect and that’s incredible. Even [00:44:00] in jobs, when we are working, we are in a team.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah,
Tere Derbez: and we don’t connect. I can see it because I have been advertiser of, big enter enterprises and when I give this kind of capacitation or seminars, I tell them, you have two, we have some exercises, but for instance, what are you wearing today? And sometimes we don’t even know what we’re wearing.
It’s incredible. What do you have in your purse or in your pocket? I can tell you that most people doesn’t know what.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, no, I know. I’m very much familiar with that. And we have to realize it can happen to us. It’s, we’re not perfect and say, oh, I, I read about it, so now I know it. You have to apply it.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. Yeah. If you don’t, it’s incredible. So, what is mindfulness, [00:45:00] what you said to be here in the present, but how, what is to be here in the present? To know yourself and to know the other persons that are surrounded you.
it’s incredible when we go inside the house, we don’t even realize if they have a picture, a painting.
Nothing. We just go, sit, eat. We are very good to criticize if we see something that we don’t like, but we don’t realize all the effort that the people in that house made to make you comfortable because they know that you were coming. That’s to be mindfulness.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah. I want to ask you another question. in addition to the 10 lessons, you already shared, I.
Is there perhaps a lesson in your life that you have unlearned where you decided I have to do it differently? Do you have an example of that?
Tere Derbez: I [00:46:00] have so many.
Siebe Vanderzee: Oh,
Tere Derbez: yeah. One, I am a very trustable person, and I trust in almost everybody. That’s a lesson that I have to learn, that not everybody’s trustable.
One lesson that I think that I learned is not to talk everything that you have to say, because sometimes you say things with a good intention or you say things thinking that the person you can trust on her or him, and. Spread your truth. So, it’s terrible. So that’s what the second lesson that I ha I, I still make mistakes in that one sometimes.
Siebe Vanderzee: I do too. I was going to say, because that’s for me, a, an important lesson sometimes to stay quiet and listen instead of saying, oh, I can do this, and oh, I can tell you [00:47:00] that.
Tere Derbez: Yeah. And because, okay.
Lesson. Not to learn, but to reaffirm is to be more in this moment with love to me, to love myself much more. because I love everybody. I give everybody, but there’s a moment in life that you have to stop and say, okay, I have done all this. Now what am I going to do for myself? This is the last part of my life.
I know, I’m not 20 years, so I have to learn how to capitalize my energy on me.
Siebe Vanderzee: I’m sure it’s not easy, but you have a lot of energy, if I can make that statement. Yeah. And you are very creative. So, from that point of view, it seems to me that you have lots of [00:48:00] options in your future.
Tere Derbez: Yeah, and you know what, I can tell the last lesson. Is never stop having projects in your life.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah.
Tere Derbez: Because when you stop, you are going to die. Everybody’s going to die, but you are not going to die with a purpose. So please die with a purpose. Don’t die alive.
Siebe Vanderzee: it’s a harsh lesson to end with, Tere but it’s much appreciated. And I want to thank you, for joining us today and for sharing your lessons of wisdom with our global audience.
Gracia.
And in closing, you have been listening to our international program, 10 Lessons Learned. This episode is produced as always by Robert Hari, and we are supported by the Professional Development Forum. I also want to give special thanks to our amazing team, Yi Wang, who manages our marketing and [00:49:00] social media, and Cody Comeau, our episode editor.
Our guest today is Tere Derbez a well-known artist with a lifelong passion for painting and writing. Sharing her 10 lessons learned and to our audience. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And don’t forget to subscribe so that you never miss a lesson that could change your life and perhaps your career.
Thank you for tuning in to 10 lessons Learned where we are Making the world a little wiser, one lesson at a time. Thank you and stay safe.

Thanks to our 10 Lessons team that make our show possible: Our Episode Editor Codie Comeau, Marketing and social media managed by Yi Wang, and our Producer Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org.

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