Life-Changing Lessons | End of Season Special

Robert Hossary: Hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, A special End of Season Edition. My name is Robert Hossary, and I’m your host for today’s episode.
With us today is Diana White, Siebe Vanderzee and Codie Comeau.
Today we’ll be sharing valuable life lessons that changed our lives. We hope you find something in there that you can take away and use in yours.
Codie: So, before we get onto our lessons, you may have noticed that we have a new special that we’ve launched with Siebe Vanderzee, which is Lessons to Advance Your Career.
Robert Hossary: Well, I’m excited to say that that special series [00:01:00] is doing very well, and we’re about to launch another one with Diana White, which is lessons in Leadership.
so, make sure that you tune in. Hit the subscribe button, hit that notification bell so you don’t miss these two new special series by Diana and Siebe Vanderzee. They’re phenomenal. Plus, we also have our regular 10 lessons learned episodes, These episodes will always be free to watch, but they’re not free to make.
So, you can help by subscribing, by commenting, by leaving us a review. Or you can also share this with your friends and build the 10 lessons community.
Okay, enough of the commercial. Let’s get on with the life changing lessons. So, I don’t know about you guys, but I was a, a pretty selfish corporate guy for a very, very long time.

Robert’s Lesson

Robert Hossary: it was all about me, how big my office was, what my title was, how much money I was [00:02:00] earning. It was never enough. I wanted more and more and more so. The thing that changed my purpose, my life, my direction, caught me by surprise. One day I realized that chasing all the things that I didn’t have meant, that I wasn’t appreciating the things that I had.
Siebe Vanderzee: Hmm.
Robert Hossary: Had a wonderful family, had beautiful children. I had a wonderful house. My extended family was lovely. We’d go on holidays, we would, we could eat, we could, you know, we had a roof over our head. We had food on the table. We would go on holidays; we’d buy extravagant things. I had everything I was chasing and I didn’t realize it.
And it was then that I developed the sense of gratitude, and I started being [00:03:00] grateful for what I had. Once I started realizing what I had, I stopped chasing things that I didn’t have, which I didn’t really want. So, it, it was an enormous shift in perspective to be grateful. To be grateful for the little things that I had, the, the large things that I had to be grateful for, the things even that I didn’t have because I didn’t need them.
So, I was grateful not to be chasing them. It really changed the way I look at the world. It opened up a new pathway for me. It made me more in tune with my fellow man, to the point where I started volunteering. I started doing things for other people because they didn’t have what I had, so I wanted them to have that. Gratitude. It is probably one of the most [00:04:00] underrated skills or underrated.
mindset. So that’s my lesson. That’s the lesson that changed my life. and I couldn’t be more grateful for that lesson. no pun intended. Well, actually, probably was, but no pun intended.
But it’s, uh, it’s something that I advise all of our listeners to think about. Just think about it. No one’s saying, give up your BMW. Stop chasing that big office and that big title. But look at what you’ve got and be very honest with yourself and ask yourself, am I happy? Is this what I want?
So, yeah, that’s me. So Siebe Vanderzee,
Siebe Vanderzee: Yes, sir.
Robert Hossary: let’s go with you next.

Siebe’s Lesson

Siebe Vanderzee: lessons learned. Um. My favorite lesson is don’t judge until you understand. And I [00:05:00] learned about human behavior and other cultures I travelled to lived and worked in foreign countries. It was a great experience because I learned a lot. I also learned that people tend to be very quick to judge other people and other cultures. And as I like to say, culture is how you were raised. And I’m thinking, you know, parents, family, friends, neighbors, teachers, colleagues, and culture develops while you grow up. Now, first experience in a foreign country. When you travel to a foreign country, it can be perhaps somewhat challenging because we tend to compare and judge countries, other cultures to where we are from. And course, and I say joke jokingly, our culture, whoever our culture is and whoever we are, our culture is always the best. [00:06:00] Because you know what? We know what we’re doing. Hmm. But if you go to a foreign country, it depends on the country, of course, where you’re coming from and the country you’re going, but let’s say differences with language, food, traffic, clothing, but also behaviors, communication, management, problem solving. It’s different in different cultures, different countries. Now, it’s not just my experience, there’s some, some scientific research, but people tend to make very quick judgements, typically based on their own culture and their own expectations, comparing it to different behavior.
Other cultures, wait a minute. We do it the right way, so why don’t they don’t do it that way. Now, being different, of course, doesn’t mean better or being worse. It just means [00:07:00] being different, and that is so important to understand. We don’t have to put a judgment on it. My suggestion is keep an open mind, use your own intuition. Your gut feeling matters, and of course, don’t judge until you understand. Now, I still carry that lesson with me today as a corporate recruiter, also have to make sure I don’t judge, for example, candidates before I understand them. To give an example, a nice resume doesn’t mean you are the right candidate. There is a lot more to it, so I feel very fortunate that I have learned and experienced a lot, but I also truly realize how little I know, and that is why don’t judge until you understand is my favorite lesson. Merry Christmas.
Robert Hossary: Thanks, Siebe Vanderzee Codie. Because I’m going to save the best till last.
Codie: Of course, always got to save vest for last. and just, just relating real [00:08:00] quick to, to Siebe Vanderzee’s point there, you know, it almost reminds me of the, the Walt Whitman quote, uh, be curious, not judgmental. Right.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah,
Codie: being able to, to ask those questions and to
Siebe Vanderzee: open mind.
Codie: curious. Yeah, exactly. Open-mindedness. Anyway, uh, enough of my Ted Lasso references here. You know, I’m, I’m on the younger side and so I haven’t had a whole lot of life experience comparatively, but I still believe that, as we grow up there are those, those moments that define you.

Codie’s Lesson

Codie: And I’ll never forget, probably. Uh, the single most valuable lesson, aside from, you know, be respectful and manage things like that, but, but genuinely a, a life lesson that my, my father had taught me growing up was to pick your battles.
And this one was super interesting to me because it’s one that I find constantly evolves as you go through life. When you’re a kid, you know, you’re maybe upset you didn’t get to play your hockey game, or you didn’t get [00:09:00] to get this piece of candy or whatever it was, you know, then you get a little bit older and you know, you’re in school, in college and you’re that, you know, maybe you’re having trouble with your, your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever.
Maybe you’re having an issue with a professor. Ultimately, when you go to your career, you know, might, you might be having issues with your boss or a colleague, you know, friends. So, it’s something that, you know, really does evolve with you as you, you get older. But now I work in sales, so you know, I’m probably can relate to this quite a bit. You deal with a lot of different people. So, you ultimately have the ability to shape your own perspective on things. You have the ability to, to have your own, mind frame and everything. Really being able to pick your battles and know what’s worth fighting for and not letting the little things get to you is so important. Don’t stress yourself out about the little things. Don’t focus on, the things that are going to [00:10:00] have, uh, a negative effect on you. Choose to, to fight for what really matters, know which hills you you’re willing to die on. I guess is where I’ll of wrap that up.
Robert Hossary: You know what Codie, That lesson, pick your battles is universal and help me, in many aspects of my life, including relationships. It’s very clear and it’s also helped me understand gratitude better. Again, all of these go hand in hand.
It’s a very important lesson. It’s a, it’s a very good mindset to have. and that’s what we do here on 10 lessons. We try and give you a perspective that you may not have thought of.
So, we’ve left the best to last,
Diana White: Oh, don’t know about, I don’t know.
Robert Hossary: so, let’s.
Diana White: before.
Robert Hossary: Let’s go Diana.
Diana White: Mine. Uh, [00:11:00] I will say this, um, viewers and, and listeners, first of all, for the viewers, um, you may notice that one of these things is different from the other. I don’t have a Santa hat on. It is, it is not in protest. I love Santa. I just messed it up.
I didn’t get a Santa hat in time. Do not come for me in the comments. I am so, so sorry.
Robert Hossary: Oh no, actually do go for her in the comment because it helps our algorithm. So please do.
Diana White: So, I do want to say that, uh, Codie, your, your pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff and Siebe your, don’t judge until you know, and Robert, your, your live in gratitude. I want. Our audience to understand that the reason why we want to bring you these lessons, and the reason why we keep saying that we, we, our target audience is, you know, this age to this age [00:12:00] is because practice makes confidence. Yeah.

Diana’s Lesson

Diana White: The, the sooner you start these mindsets and the sooner you practice this over and over again, the sooner you train your brain, your body, your brain synapsis, it will come easier to you when you’re, our age. And you won’t have to reinvent the wheel, and you won’t have to rethink your life. Because you feel like now, now I know what I know and I’ve been living it wrong. No, you’ve been building up these skills and these mindsets along the way. So, hope you take that, from, from this very special episode. And then I’m going to talk about, something that’s near and dear to my heart. and it has to do with the, the segments that I’m going to release in, the next year, which leadership.
So, I started leadership at a very early age. I think that probably in my late teens, in my early twenties when I started leading [00:13:00] people in, in some way at work and, uh, people that were sometimes, three times my age trying to get them to follow what I was thinking and my thought process and my plan, and I got beat up a lot, right?
I got beat up a lot because I wasn’t confident enough in myself to be able to explain the why to get everybody behind me. And it wasn’t a lesson that was taught to me from someone, which in hindsight, it would’ve saved me a lot of pain. It was a lesson I had to learn myself, which is don’t mimic other people’s leadership styles. Don’t try to be someone else. really try to figure out who your authentic self is and stick in that and live in that and be authentic and lead with compassion. Many of you know, I’ve talked about it time and time again in, in my episodes that I come from servant leadership. I wasn’t [00:14:00] trained on servant leadership.
I fell into servant leadership because everything about it appealed to me and my authentic self. And once I got all those pieces together and realized, okay, not a tyrant. I want everybody have a say. I want everybody to follow me because they believe in the vision, not because I told them to. I want to be able to help them as best as I can, reach whatever pinnacle they want to reach. Everything clicked. Managing became easier. Leading became easier. Having the difficult conversations became easier. Being myself became easier. So that is my lesson, that changed my life that I just needed to slow down, stop looking at everybody else to see what I should be. Be myself. And be authentic and then just be there for my people. And it
Robert Hossary: Wonder
Diana White: wrong, it really hasn’t
Codie: Be [00:15:00] unapologetically. Unapologetically yourself. Right.
Diana White: unapologetically yourself. But I, I, I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, Codie. So sometimes I do have to apologize. Sometimes I do have to go back and say, Hey, think you took that in a way that I didn’t mean, and how can we talk about this? That’s still being authentic to myself because I do care.
Robert Hossary: And that’s a thing, isn’t it? It we need to care. There’s a lot of. A lot of human beings that make the mistake of intertwining the words good and kindness, you can be good, but that doesn’t mean you’re kind.
Siebe Vanderzee: Mm-hmm.
Robert Hossary: Kindness is also a mindset. and the world would be best suited if more of us were kinder and thought about other people.
Diana White: I
Robert Hossary: a wonderful lesson.
Diana White: Have a
Robert Hossary: Yeah.
Diana White: uh, if you guys are humor me for a minute, it’s [00:16:00] an East coast, west coast joke. So, anybody from the West coast don’t come after. Okay. Robert says, come after me in the comments. It builds the algorithm, right? But I, I, I’m, I grew up in New York. I was born and raised in New York, and then I moved to Arizona, which is the West coast.
And I not heard this before until I moved to Arizona and someone said. many people on the West coast are, are nice, but they’re not kind. And many people on the East Coast are kind, but they’re not nice. And the way that described it is could be stuck on the freeway in California. I don’t know the, what is it?
The, the 4 0 4. I don’t know what famous highway is in California,
0 5.
they see. The 4 0 5, you can be stuck on the 4 0 5. And Californians will, will, they’ll look at you with the, with the sad face, like, oh my goodness, so sad for you. And they’ll wave like hope You get help, [00:17:00] but they’ll keep on going. New Yorkers, if you’re in a subway and you have a baby carriage, you’ll have some person like, what do you think you’re doing bringing this baby carriage?
What’s wrong with you? This was a stupid thing to do, but they’ll have. Half of the baby carriage helping you get up and down the steps as they’re cursing you out from making the mistake of bringing the baby carriage. Right. And so, I really do think that even though that is a, a, a very simple joke and it, and it boils down everybody to an essence and we’re all different. it does mean something in the scope of things. You can have somebody that may be a little gruff, a little rough around the edges, but they care and they’re helping as opposed to somebody that’s polished and says all the right things, but they’re not really helping.
Codie: It’s
Robert Hossary: Yeah.
Codie: down to, uh, intent, you know,
Diana White: Yeah.
Codie: and, and where they really meant. And it’s funny with that joke, because you know, coming, coming from Boston, that’s sums us up. You know,
Diana White: Spot on. Right.
Codie: here is, is, is harsh, but they, they will be the [00:18:00] kindest people unless you mess with their sports teams.
In that case, then all bits are off, but everything else is fair game.
Robert Hossary: Do you have anything you’d like to add because we are about to say goodbye.
Siebe Vanderzee: Yeah, no, there, there’s actually a lot of things I would like to add, but I won’t. I, I think when we’re talking about lessons and, and these are powerful lessons, sometimes there are situations where people around you are in a difficult situation in my brain, I. I want to help them. And it can be in a public situation and almost, I don’t get into politics, but in a political type of situation, how dare you open up your mouth? It has nothing to do with you. And I don’t think it’s fair to expect any person to act on behalf of other people. But there are people, and I think I’m one of them, that cannot. Keep myself quiet when I see injustice happening around me, and it happens [00:19:00] unfortunately, all over the world, and I cannot control that. That’s not my intent. But if it happens close to me, it could be in a company where I’m working or in the environment where I’m working. I personally have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, even though it’s not in my interest to speak out, and I just want to throw that in again for all positive intents and, and of course, Christmas time and looking at next year. I do believe it’s important for certain people to speak out. And, yes, I’ve had it that I was wrong and apologized for what I said, but I never had regret that I spoke out because at that moment I felt it was appropriate.
Robert Hossary: Yeah, we need more people to do that. So, all these lessons, And the, the extra one from Siebe Vanderzee, you know, speaking out. All these lessons are, things that I would strongly advise you, dear listener, [00:20:00] to internalize. Think about it. And as Siebe Vanderzee said, it’s Christmas time. So, from our families to yours, have a wonderful Christmas.
may Santa bring you all that you wish for and oh, well, looks like you mentioned Santa and he wants to be part of the show, so, um. Santa welcome. What lessons have changed your life?

Santa’s Lesson

Santa: You know, Robert, there’s one lesson that truly changed my life, one that shaped who I am today, and that’s this. You can’t be everywhere, but you can inspire others to be well. It took me a long time to learn it. In the early centuries of my work, long before I was known as Santa Claus, I tried to visit every single child, every home, personally.
I believed it was my [00:21:00] duty to bring joy to everyone everywhere, but no matter how fast the sleigh flew or how many elves helped, there were always children I couldn’t reach, and that broke my heart. Robert, I remember one Christmas Eve centuries ago, I stopped on a snowy hill and looked down at all the little villages below, realizing I couldn’t possibly make it to them all before Sunrise.
I felt like I had failed my purpose, but then something remarkable happened. The next morning, I returned to one of those villages I’d missed, and to my surprise, the families were still celebrating. The children were smiling; the parents were sharing food and laughter. You see, the spirit of giving had spread without me.
The people had shared what little they had with one another. That was the moment I understood something vital Christmas doesn’t depend on me. I can [00:22:00] start the spark, but it’s others who carry the flame. The real magic of Christmas isn’t one man flying around the world. It’s people choosing kindness, generosity, and love on their own.
I realized that being Santa isn’t about being everywhere. It’s about inspiring others to share that same joy and compassion wherever they are. That lesson changed me forever. It’s the reason I still do what I do. Not to be the hero of Christmas, but to remind people that they can be Santa too. The greatest magic I’ve ever seen isn’t from my sleigh.
It’s from the hearts of those who keep the spirit of giving alive.
Robert Hossary: well, thank you Santa, and with that from our families to yours, have a wonderful Christmas, a safe new year. And don’t forget, we are just here to make the [00:23:00] world a little wiser.
Lesson by lesson.
Diana White: Happy holidays, everybody.
Codie: Merry
Siebe Vanderzee: holidays.
Robert Hossary: Merry Christmas.

Thanks to our 10 Lessons team that make our show possible: Our Episode Editor Codie Comeau, Marketing and social media managed by Yi Wang, and our Producer Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org.

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