Joe Templin – Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself

Joe Templin
Joe Templin is an Author, Founder and Managing Director. He tells us why “Harder is better”; why we should “Be a kid”, that “a strong enough Why, overcomes any How” and much more. Hosted by Robert Hossary.

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About Joe Templin

Reformed physicist, financial planner, startup founder and autodidactic polymath best described as a Swiss Army Knife, Joe Templin has invested the past two and a half plus decades to helping others reach their financial potential as a planner, trainer, mentor and creator. He has served as a member of NAIFA (the National Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors) on the local, state, and national level, and including three terms on the NAIFA National Young Advisors Team (YAT) Subcommittee and was honored as one of the 2011 Four Under 40. He is a graduate of the Leadership in Life Institute of NAIFA as well as Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, and is an alum of Johns Hopkins University.
Joe earned his CFP as well as his CHARTERED ADVISOR OF PHILANTHROPY, CLU, and ChFC designations and has qualified numerous times for the Million Dollar Round Table. He has been a business columnist for the Albany Times Union, Adviser Today Magazine, The Ballston Journal, and Insurance News Net. Joe earned his Certified Executive Counsellor designation as well as his Master Executive Counsellor in 2021.
Joe served as the President of the Castle Alpha Tau Foundation for Pi Kappa Phi Fraternity and as the Chapter Advisor, and is currently a Board Member of The Autism Society of the Greater Capital Region. He has been a member of The Ancient Order of Hibernians for over 20 years, and is the Lieutenant of the Honor Guard.
Templin is the Managing Director of the Unique Minds Consulting Group, LLC, and is the author of “Every Day Excellence” and co-authored “Do You Want To Make MDRT, Or Not?” with Dr. John Stolk as well as “Choices: Creating a Financial Services Career”.
Joe is a Co-Founder and President of The Intro Machine, Inc. an organization dedicated to teaching professionals in a variety of fields how to build an Introduction Based Business. He has spoken all across the US and Canada on ethical business development.
In his free time, Joe enjoys running Ragnars (200 ish mile team relay races) ultramarathons and is a champion-level martial artist. He lives in Ballston Spa, New York, with his hooligan boys Danny, Liam, and Colin. They are huge Yankees fans.

Episode Notes

Lesson 1: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Mean Nothing. 03:50
Lesson 2: A Strong Enough Why, Overcomes Any How. 09:16
Lesson 3: Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself. 12:03
Lesson 4: Harder is Better. 17:24
Lesson 5: See It, then Be It. 22:52
Lesson 6: Bad Day? Help Someone. 26:49
Lesson 7: Truth is Told Through Jokes 32:38
Lesson 8: Be a Kid. 38:41
Lesson 9: Speak Love, and in Their Language. 42:59
Lesson 10: Have Fun, Don’t Die! 48:24

Joe Templin – Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself.


[00:00:08] Robert Hossary: Hello, and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, where we talk to sages and gurus, leaders, and luminaries from all over the world to dispense their wisdom for your career, business, and life in order to make the world a wiser place, lesson by lesson.
[00:00:24] Robert Hossary: My name is Robert Hossary and I’m your host for this episode.
[00:00:28] Robert Hossary: Today’s guest is Joe Templin.
[00:00:31] Robert Hossary: Joe is the author of Everyday Excellence, A Guide to Growing and Co-Author. Do you want to make M D R T or not? as well as Choices Creating a Financial Services Career with Dr. John Stoke.
[00:00:46] Robert Hossary: Joe is the co-founder and president of the Intro Machine, incorporated, an organization dedicated to teaching professionals in a variety of fields, how to build an introduction based business,
[00:01:00] Robert Hossary: and is currently a board member and vice president of the Autism Society of the Greater Hudson Region. he has spoken across the US and Canada on ethical business development, and he’s with us today. Welcome, Joe,
[00:01:14] Joe Templin: Robert. I’ve been looking forward to this all week, my friend.
[00:01:17] Robert Hossary: Well, thank you very much for being with us. I really appreciate it. I know that you’re traveling, I know that it’s a bit difficult for you, but thank you for making the time for us today.
[00:01:26] Joe Templin: Oh, thank you for letting me share the story and hopefully help some of your listeners get one or two things they can use to help them out.
[00:01:34] Robert Hossary: That’s what we’re about. That’s what 10 lessons, it’s all about. Let’s start with a, a very simple question for you, Joe. What would you have told your younger self with all the knowledge that you have now, what would you wish you had someone would’ve told you when you were younger?
[00:01:51] Joe Templin: This is actually something that I told my 15 year old recently because he is essentially my mini me in a lot of ways, don’t have to carry the entire world’s burden.
[00:02:04] Joe Templin: You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to make everything right. It’s not all your responsibility.
[00:02:10] Robert Hossary: That is really good advice, especially when you think about teenagers and you think about where we were in the pressure society put on us at that age.
[00:02:20] Joe Templin: It’s even worse these days. I don’t know how they deal with it.
[00:02:23] Joe Templin: You know, it was, we didn’t have social media, so luckily there were no pictures of us being stupid in our teens and the early twenties. There was not the hyper attention to every single detail. What you did not live on, for decades being captured and back then having different paths was okay.
[00:02:42] Joe Templin: smart kids went to college. If that wasn’t what was intended for you, you could go military, you could go into trades, you could go into arts. So it was all encouraged. Recently, it’s been everybody needs to go to college. You need to get these degrees and all that, and it started loosening up a little bit.
[00:03:00] Joe Templin: But there’s still these immense pressures to conform and within the school systems, you can’t be flippant. There’s no humor allowed anywhere anymore. You can’t be relaxed. And if you’re doing something that somebody could find mildly offensive, then there’s going to be blowback. And so it is restricting their capability to be themselves and explore and discover, which is critical.
[00:03:28] Joe Templin: That’s what your teens and twenties are really about, is discovering who you are and what lights your fire so that you can then explore and develop that over time.
[00:03:37] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. And, that would be great advice. I wish I, I had told myself that as well. look, we can discuss that for a long time, but let’s move on to your 10 lessons.
[00:03:48] Robert Hossary: and I love them, so thank you for sharing them with us.


[00:03:50] Lesson 1: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Mean Nothing.


[00:03:50] Robert Hossary: So let’s go to lesson number one. The best laid plans of mice and men mean nothing. I love that. I love that.
[00:03:59] Joe Templin: Or as John Lennon said, life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans. ’cause if I had followed the plan that had been laid out for me as the gifted kid, I would’ve gone finished college, gotten my PhD by the time I was 21 years old, years continue to re research for the government on the side, ultimately become a professor and consult and be completely and totally along that track.
[00:04:20] Joe Templin: And that did not happen. That was your, nor did I get married, have the golden retriever, white picket fence, 2.2 kids in the minivan.
[00:04:28] Robert Hossary: So Why then? Is that a cliche? Why is it that society pushes us to have our plans, our life plans? I understand business plans. I totally understand that. and the five year business plan now is pretty much out the window because the world changes that quickly.
[00:04:48] Robert Hossary: Yeah. But in, in life, in your career, why is it that planning means nothing?
[00:04:57] Joe Templin: Because as you said, things change so much and there are so many variables. If it was just a simple linear equation, go to school, graduate, you know, then you could have a linear path. But that doesn’t take into account things like if you have a bad professor who makes it so that you hate intermediate mechanics, which I didn’t have, but that could be an example.
[00:05:19] Joe Templin: Or, you know, you fall in love with somebody and they are in the military, so you follow them or they’re going on a different path. So there’s those sort of things there are out there, that disrupt things. One of the big things is that, okay, one of my, actually my biggest goal, the one thing that I always wanted to be was a good father.
[00:05:41] Joe Templin: And I had this career path laid out. And then there was the new leadership in the organization, you know, had some significant ethical issues and there was integrity issues among the leadership. And so when I called them out, you know, I got blown up for it. And so the business that I had spent 15 plus years building, that was becoming incredibly successful at that point, I suddenly lost it.
[00:06:06] Joe Templin: And so I went from making an incredibly good income to saying, what am I gonna do? And this is in end of 2007 and we all know what happened in 2008. So that completely disrupted things further. At that point, I had my oldest two, my youngest child, or my second child and my youngest one at that point, when he was a couple months old, we realized that he had been born with a twisted spine.
[00:06:29] Joe Templin: So he was in physical and occupational therapy every single day for the next six months. That sort of changed things. And then later on, my youngest was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. At that point, my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger’s and O C D. So you need to be able to adopt the stoics, have a saying or a belief system Amor Fati, which means love your fate.
[00:06:56] Joe Templin: You need to accept it. And I’m, I don’t necessarily love everything that’s happened, but I’ve learned from it and I know I can’t change it. So you spend time, you extract what lessons that you can, the pearls of wisdom as my father calls them. And you be able to move forward. Yeah. So, you know, time is a linear dimension.
[00:07:15] Joe Templin: We can’t move back, so we have to make the best of what we can today and going forward.
[00:07:22] Robert Hossary: That is so true. there, there’s a lot of Buddhist philosophy that, supports everything you just said. The the one thing when I was a young sales cadet, I used to go to these sales. I, it belonged to a sales club and we’d have a breakfast meeting, different salespeople from all different industries.
[00:07:40] Robert Hossary: And we used to start the morning off with the thought of the day. And the one thought of the day that popped into my mind when you were talking was, have a plan, but don’t fall in love with it.
[00:07:53] Joe Templin: Right? And more important than having a plan is having a mission or a goal. Yeah. Because if you have a mission, then you can adapt what you are doing to still fulfill the mission.
[00:08:04] Joe Templin: If you have the goal, which is actually,what I’m gonna talk about in a little bit with some of the other lessons. If you know that I have to accomplish X, well this path might not work. It’s like you’re driving someplace and the road’s closed, well you’re gonna take a detour because you still need to end up at that destination.
[00:08:23] Joe Templin: So you need to be flexible in terms of the approach and the methodologies, but don’t give up on the ultimate destination.
[00:08:30] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. And isn’t that a wonderful metaphor for life? Because we don’t see those parallels from physical life to our lives. You know? Yes, you’re right. If it
[00:08:42] Joe Templin: ’cause we’re too close to the situation and we get so emotionally involved.
[00:08:46] Joe Templin: Yeah. Oh, I had my heart set on this and now my heart’s broken. Exactly. And so you’re like scrambling and all that. And so that is why the stoics say Amor Fati and being able to have a little bit of, stoic or zen Buddhism, they’re very close in a lot ways. And just say, okay, I’m still getting over there.
[00:09:03] Joe Templin: I’m just gonna take the different path.
[00:09:05] Robert Hossary: That’s exactly right. And that is a powerful, powerful mindset to have if you can develop it. So that is a great lesson. Thank you Joe, that really is a very strong lesson.


[00:09:16] Lesson 2: A Strong Enough Why, Overcomes Any How.


[00:09:16] Robert Hossary: Let’s move on to lesson number two. A strong enough. Why overcomes any how? Now, I think I understand it, but I’d like you to explain it.
[00:09:27] Joe Templin: So I love to use the example of my friend Tommy, the firefighter I. And Tommy, the firefighter, trained new firefighters in a lot ways. And so one of the early trainings they would do with them is there’s this building, it is on fire. There are children inside that you need to save. What do you do? Okay, I’m gonna go through the door.
[00:09:49] Joe Templin: Oh, doors steel and barricade. You can’t get, I’m gonna go through the window, steel bars over it. Can’t do that. Okay, I’m gonna go through the wall. It’s reinforced. Okay. And he would just keep playing these scenarios and he’d keep, remind him there are kids inside. And so like ultimately like the solution is take the truck and drive into the wall to open up so that you can get inside is was one of the solutions that other people came up with.
[00:10:14] Joe Templin: Other ones. But if what you are trying to accomplish is more important than anything else in your world, you will find a way. Yeah. So my friends who are special needs parents take care of that kid. That’s the most important thing in their entire universe. You’ll, be able to run your business so that you can take care of your kid.
[00:10:33] Joe Templin: If I put a gun to somebody’s head and said, you need to come up with $50,000 within 24 hours, or else I’m gonna shoot your child, guess what? They’re coming up with that money. So we need to not care about everything at that level ’cause it will burn you out. But if there are some things that are that important where learning is as important as breathing, as one of the old philosophers said when he was holding a student underwater, if what you’re trying to accomplish it is literally an obsession, a grand obsession, a lot of ways, then you will be successful because you will figure it out somehow.
[00:11:13] Joe Templin: ’cause nothing will stand between you and them. This is why, you know, a hundred pound woman can pick a car off her baby.
[00:11:20] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. and that, that’s a very important point. You know, if your why, if your purpose is there, then you will find a way to do it. you’re absolutely right and I’ve experienced it.
[00:11:36] Robert Hossary: I’m sure many of our listeners have experienced, I’m sure you’ve experienced it. and those who haven’t experienced it, just think about what Joe just said. Because it’s true and it does work. If you give it some thought, you’ll see that you have actually experienced it in one way or another throughout your life sometime.
[00:11:57] Robert Hossary: I have no doubt. that’s a fantastic lesson, a very powerful one too actually. They’re all powerful lessons.


[00:12:03] Lesson 3: Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself.


[00:12:03] Robert Hossary: Let’s go to lesson number three because I actually like this. I like all of them, but I like this because it speaks it to, to me, and it speaks to something that I’ve experienced in my life.
[00:12:16] Robert Hossary: Lesson number three, sacrifice of myself to myself. Talk to me about that, Joe.
[00:12:24] Joe Templin: So this actually comes from a very bad 1980s hair metal song from the Band of Man of War. They write lots of songs about Norse mythology, and this is about Odin when he hung on the Tree of Life for nine days and tore out his own eye for one drink of drink, the water of wisdom.
[00:12:45] Joe Templin: And so he made a sacrifice of himself, but to himself. So when you go to the gym every single day and you’re sweating and it’s painful and you hate it, and you’re pushing through it, what are you doing? You’re making a current sacrifice. You’re experiencing temporary pain, and you’re allocating time. What for?
[00:13:05] Joe Templin: To yourself to unlock the better version of you. To have more physical strength, to have better emotional control, which is one of the things that heavy working out does to extend your life. Because that hour that you spend in the gym is going to add three hours, five hours a week to your life ultimately.
[00:13:26] Joe Templin: And not just longevity, but a better life style. So studying for your exams instead of playing video games, which is a lot more fun. Studying is a sacrifice, but it’s a sacrifice to future you, to get that better job, to get that promotion, to get all these better things, you know, so you make sacrifices of yourself to yourself for that better version, better vision of who you could potentially be.
[00:13:55] Joe Templin: And what we need to do is work on unlocking that because as Michelangelo saw within the block of marble, he saw the David in there and he just removed the marble to get to it. We have excellence within us of some capacity.
[00:14:13] Joe Templin: It is our job to unlock that. How do you unlock that with consistent effort, focused on certain things and being able to say, I enjoy this, but this is better. I love my donuts example that I talk about all the time. I absolutely love my donuts, but you know, I eat them once a month on my cheat day so that I can have the physical power and be able to train martial arts and running and all these other things.
[00:14:40] Joe Templin: Also, the discipline and willpower to say, I really want a donut. I’m not going to have one. Because that willpower is a skill that then bleeds over into other areas. Yeah, because the discipline did not eat the donut is the same discipline that helps me make my bed, even though I hate making my bed every morning.
[00:15:02] Joe Templin: It’s the same discipline that lets me pick up the phone to call that potential client that I don’t really wanna call, but I’m going to. And that then gets me something better. On the far side of purposely choosing that pain.
[00:15:16] Robert Hossary: You’re spot on. And I think what you’ve just said, choosing. Everything we do is a choice.
[00:15:24] Robert Hossary: People. Everything we do is our choice.
[00:15:27] Joe Templin: That’s why that one book that I wrote with Dr. John Stolk, we decide to call it Choices, Creating a Financial Services Career because we are a product of our choices.
[00:15:37] Robert Hossary: Yes.
[00:15:38] Joe Templin: And so with building a financial services career, everything is a choice. Are you going to work on getting your designations or not?
[00:15:44] Joe Templin: Are you going to pick up the phone and be uncomfortable or not? Are you gonna ask for introductions to potential clients or are you gonna take the easy route? Are you going to do the hard things that make you better? Or are you going choose convenience, which is diametrically opposed to excellence.
[00:16:02] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:16:03] Robert Hossary: these are things that as a young sales cadet, I didn’t learn that, but I learned techniques. And some of the techniques I totally were totally against my values. I chose not to use those and I chose to form relationships. So, and I was successful. And that taught me that the choices for my life are my choices.
[00:16:29] Robert Hossary: Right or wrong is irrelevant. It’s my choice. And if it’s a wrong choice, then guess what? I’ve learned from it and I move it.
[00:16:37] Joe Templin: I own it. And that goes back to lesson one. Yep. Where you learn to accept it, you learn to extract the, insights from it. Yep. And so next time you make a different mistake.
[00:16:50] Robert Hossary: Yep. So sacrificing of yourself to yourself is a great way of putting it.
[00:16:56] Robert Hossary: I’ve never heard it put that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. And again, when I host these episodes, a lot of the listeners hear me say this over and over again, but I really mean it. If you don’t understand it, rewind it, listen to it again. Because if you know, the more you listen to it, the more it will hit home.
[00:17:19] Robert Hossary: I think it’s a brilliant lesson. So thank you for sharing that with us.


[00:17:24] Lesson 4: Harder is Better.


[00:17:24] Robert Hossary: Let’s go on to lesson number four, because, this is to me again, a well duh moment. lesson number four, harder is better. Okay. We know this, but tell us what you think about that.
[00:17:39] Joe Templin: Because if you choose to do hard things when you don’t have to When the world forces you to do hard things, you can do it. So, I think believe it was Seneca, the Stoic said, you know, every once in a while eat the meanest of foods. You know, be cold on purpose, you know, skip a meal, wear bad clothes so that you appreciate the good ones so that you can say, is this the worst thing that happens?
[00:18:08] Joe Templin: So, you know what, oh, so I have to cut back and live on peanut butter and jelly for a week because we’re waiting for this, these deals to close. And, you know, things are tight. Oh, well, so be it. I can do that. You know, if you choose to go run in the rain when you know your feet all gross and sloppy and I hate it, and you’re squishy, it’s the worst.
[00:18:33] Joe Templin: And for the first mile I’m like, why the hell am I doing this? And the second mile this sucks and the third mile, especially when it’s windy and cold and you’re like, this is horrible. I’m an idiot for doing this. And then you’re almost home and you’re like, I’m almost there. And you get inside and you take off all the wet stuff and you take that warm shower and you’re like,ha.
[00:18:53] Joe Templin: And I, last time I did this, I said, I literally said I deposited. I made a deposit into the resilience account so that when something bad does happen, I can deal with it. When I have a bad streak in business or when somebody close to you is sick, you then have the reserves to be able to do this.
[00:19:15] Joe Templin: I mean, iron becomes a sword by hammering it and getting rid of all the impurities. Okay. If you’re not choosing to hammer it, guess what? You’re gonna be weak and break when you get hammered. So you can either choose to hammer on yourself by doing the hard things, or you can let the world hammer you and break you.
[00:19:38] Robert Hossary: What a wonderful metaphor that is. What a,
[00:19:41] Joe Templin: I just made that up.
[00:19:41] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. Yeah. Well, thank you. thank you.
[00:19:43] Joe Templin: Thank you for the opportunity, Robert.
[00:19:45] Robert Hossary: Wonderful metaphor. This is brilliant because you’re spot on. You are absolutely right. appreciation. I think we don’t appreciate appreciation, as much as we should.
[00:19:59] Joe Templin: Dude, that is something that is really critical. I’ve actually been thinking about this recently because I had two separate people who I care very dearly for. Tell me in the past couple of days. I appreciate you. And words of affirmation are not one of my primary love languages. If you’re familiar with chaplain’s, love languages.
[00:20:19] Joe Templin: But just to be told, that’s like, wow. Okay. Yes. And having an attitude of gratitude, it made me pause and look around and say, who do I really appreciate that I haven’t told that to recently. And because of that, I reached out to a couple of people, some out of the blue actually, and just told them.
[00:20:40] Joe Templin: So being appreciated, understanding that it’s important is one of those things. And it’s so little. I mean, it took me 30 seconds to send each one of those texts.
[00:20:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah. It’s so true. It’s so true people. .Appreciation is underrated. and it adds so much not only to your life, but to the lives of the people that you appreciate.
[00:21:06] Robert Hossary: I have done that myself, I just can’t describe the feeling, but, it also has made me stronger and made me able to appreciate the good things. But back to your lesson, all these things that are hard for us, if we can overcome them, we can then see that, you know what? It wasn’t that bad. We catastrophize all of these things in our mind.
[00:21:31] Robert Hossary: Oh, it’s raining, I’m not gonna go running. what’s it gonna do? What is it gonna do to you? I mean, I don’t run, by the way, I don’t run.
[00:21:38] Joe Templin: You’re not made outta sugar, you’re not gonna melt. So Ken Jeong has one of the best lines, and it’s one of my favorite, GIFs to use also from the Hangover. But did you die?
[00:21:52] Robert Hossary: Beautiful.
[00:21:52] Joe Templin: And so, you know, I use that multiple times a week. Not just sending it to, bust on my friends. But, I send it to my kids. I mean, like, one of the, my kids is like, you know, there was this issue, you know, we ran a milk for breakfast. I’m like, did you die? And he’s like, no, I sucked it up and got through it.
[00:22:12] Joe Templin: It’s like beautiful. Yeah. So my mom, the nun taught them that phrase. She used to tell it to me when I was a kid, suck it up. Okay. Just. You know, it’s not gonna kill you to not have the newest, gee whizz gizmo. It’s not gonna kill you to have this sort of thing. You know what, you can suck anything up for a little period of time, whether it’s doing a two minute plank to help improve your body, or it’s occasionally staying late in the office to get the job done.
[00:22:42] Joe Templin: Or, you know, helping that little old lady, it’s not gonna kill you. Suck it up. Just do it.
[00:22:48] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. Couldn’t agree more. And what a wonderful lesson that is.


[00:22:52] Lesson 5: See It, then Be It.


[00:22:52] Robert Hossary: Lesson number five is I think probably my favorite. having seen all your lessons, it’s one of my favorite, ’cause I love all of them. But lesson number five, see it then be it.
[00:23:05] Robert Hossary: I mean, that is just the best way of putting. The term visualization into a sentence. Love it. Love it.
[00:23:14] Joe Templin: And part of it is about changing your identity in a lot of ways. So, developing the identity of, I am a runner, so a lot of people you know, are like, I wanna start running, I wanna do a 10 K this year, or whatever, but I’m not a runner.
[00:23:27] Joe Templin: And they have that identity of not a runner. So they need to change that identity. They need to see themselves. Crossing that finish line. They need to feel it. David Goggins talked about this with seal training of that couple of moments of just pure bliss, of wearing the dress, whites walking across the stage, and he visualized that through the entire Hell week process to help carry him through.
[00:23:50] Joe Templin: I did it with, trying to win a sales contest with my company. You know, when I first started, it was a year long thing. it was based on your production. I was competing against people in all the bigger markets. I’m like, I’m gonna be top 10. I’m gonna be on stage. This is what it feels like to be on stage.
[00:24:05] Joe Templin: I was feeling it every single day. I was going through my numbers, I was making changes. I was pushing myself. I was doing the hard things that I didn’t want to. I was making the sacrifices of myself to myself, and ultimately I ended up being top 10. And the people that I spoke with this morning are from that company.
[00:24:21] Joe Templin: And so I told them this very story and they’re like, wow. Okay. And so that translates into martial arts first major tournament that I won. I trained for it for six months, two, three hours a day every single day in addition to, running my business and everything else. But every morning and every night as I was coming outta sleep and going into sleep, your body’s producing theta waves.
[00:24:44] Joe Templin: That’s when you can program your mind the best. Literally, the software is the most hackable at that point. So going to bed, going to sleep, and waking up, I visualized winning that tournament with a specific technique, an instant hook kick to the guy’s head. When it came down to it, last fight, last point. I did exactly what I had envisioned over and over and over again.
[00:25:08] Joe Templin: So Dr. Julie Bell is a performance psychologist. Dr. Pete Greider talked about this, you know, seeing yourself doing the action over and over again. Your body cannot tell the difference. Your brain cannot tell the difference from the virtual reality going on in your head or the actual experience.
[00:25:26] Joe Templin: So they have found that athletes actually improve more with visualization than actual physical practice.
[00:25:34] Robert Hossary: That’s very interesting, and I suppose you can convert that into anything.
[00:25:41] Joe Templin: Yeah, like you wanna fit into that dress for your reunion, hang the dress up and see it every single day and see yourself wearing it.
[00:25:50] Joe Templin: Touch it so that you can feel, and get that haptic feedback. And what’s gonna happen is seeing it that much and visualizing it, it’s gonna influence all your decisions in terms of what you’re eating, how much you’re working out, everything else so that you can achieve that. This can happen with business goals.
[00:26:07] Joe Templin: This can happen with relationships. This can happen in almost any area of our life. So see it then be it.


[00:26:16] Affiliate Break


[00:26:16] Robert Hossary: What a wonderful way to put it. Love it. I absolutely love it.
[00:26:21] Robert Hossary: so we’ll take a quick break. we’d like to thank our affiliate partner Audible. Audible is an amazing way to consume 10 lessons learned books and other podcasts, allowing you to build a library of knowledge all in the one place
[00:26:34] Robert Hossary: you can start your free 30 day trial by going to audible trial.com/10lessonslearned with Audible, you’ll find your favorite lessons while you’re at home or on the go. and the link will be in the show notes.


[00:26:49] Lesson 6: Bad Day? Help Someone.


[00:26:49] Robert Hossary: Our guest today is Joe Templin, co-founder, author, speaker, martial Arts, expert, here with us sharing his 10 lessons. So, Joe, let’s go to lesson number six.
[00:27:04] Joe Templin: Can I say something real quick that you can Yeah, please move around. I love Audible. I use Audible to get extra learning in all the time while I’m running, while I’m training, while I’m driving my vehicle to places I use Audible to double dip on time and make me better.
[00:27:23] Robert Hossary: You know what? I probably wouldn’t have kept this in, but I’m going to. this is totally unscripted. I just want ev the audience to know totally unscripted. Joe didn’t, know’s. Gonna,
[00:27:34] Joe Templin: I want your sponsor to know that they should pay you extra.
[00:27:38] Robert Hossary: Well, they’re an affiliate partner, so you know, people, if you wanna support this show, go to Audible and get your free 30 day trial, but thank you Joe.
[00:27:48] Robert Hossary: and what a great endorsement.
[00:27:50] Robert Hossary: Alright, lesson number six, bad day help. Someone couldn’t agree more, but tell us your experience on this.
[00:27:58] Joe Templin: So this is something that was taught to me by my mom, the nun. Yes. My mom was a nun then she had six kids. My mom also taught us to shoot and to distill alcohol and to, hot wire cars.
[00:28:10] Joe Templin: So lots of lessons from my mom, but this is the best lesson of them all. So it seemed like there was constantly an extricate in my house. There were already six kids, so having an extra one, not a big deal. You know, one of my brother’s friends would be over ’cause they were, something was going out at their house, or my kid’s sister’s friend would be there, or what have you.
[00:28:31] Joe Templin: And, we didn’t grow up with a ton of financial resources and we lived out in the country. So we had the farm, we had land, we had love, we had, love of learning. There was always emotional support. And my mom taught me that if your life is not going well, remember there’s somebody else’s life is much worse.
[00:28:51] Joe Templin: Okay? You’re breathing, you’re relatively healthy, you’ve got a roof over your head. You’ve got food. Even if you might not like it, you know, you’re, you are better than 98% of the people who have ever lived on this earth. So if you’re having a bad day, the best thing to do is to take from an area of your abundance and help somebody else.
[00:29:13] Joe Templin: And it might not be financial. ’cause there have been times when literally I couldn’t scrape together two dimes, but I was able to help other people. I could volunteer my time to teach a class. I could go on in and tutor in the high school. I could mentor kids in college to be able to assist them. I could carry the groceries for somebody.
[00:29:33] Joe Templin: I couldn’t. You can just hold the door for somebody, okay, you’re having a bad day. You hold the door for somebody and they say thank you. Well, all of a sudden you feel a little bit better. I’m down in the southern United States right now and everybody is like, yes sir. No ma’am. All that. And just that little thing perks you up and makes you better.
[00:29:54] Joe Templin: And there are so many, biological components to this. One of the big ones is that when you help somebody, they will probably smile. When they smile, it activates the mirror neurons in your head. So you wanna smile. When you smile, your cortisol levels drop. That’s the stress hormone. So suddenly you’re less stressed out because you took the minute or five minutes or whatever to make somebody else’s life better.
[00:30:19] Joe Templin: You relieved the burden from them. And when we lighten somebody else’s burden, guess what? Our burden’s lightened too. So doing this on a regular basis, even micro good deeds, helping other peoples out is gonna improve you as we, one of the things that we teach our Cub Scouts is do a good turn every day.
[00:30:38] Joe Templin: It’s always been that way. Do a good turn daily, help somebody else out. And if you’re doing this and you’ve programmed your reticular activation system to look for ways to help others, you know, you almost do it without thinking. So when you’re having a really bad day and you’re like, oh, geez, you know, car and blew up, spill coffee all over me, you know, cat like, decide to poop on my bed.
[00:30:58] Joe Templin: Whatever it is, that’s probably a whole bunch of things that added up. Doing a good deed, helping somebody else out suddenly shifts the entire balance.
[00:31:09] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Doesn’t it just. it’s a very powerful to do that. And if you, if it program that as just part of your personality, part of what you do, then the rewards are just amazing.
[00:31:23] Robert Hossary: and it took me a long time to learn that, Joe, a long time. So I’m, I’m grateful that you’re sharing that with us now
[00:31:30] Joe Templin: And sometimes our life becomes so hectic we forget it.
[00:31:33] Robert Hossary: Yeah, we do.
[00:31:33] Joe Templin: So that, you know what I’m talking about here, these 10 lessons, I’d say almost all of ’em, everybody’s heard ’em before, but you know what it’s like, just like showering.
[00:31:42] Joe Templin: You still need to do it. You get the dust and grime of the world off you by showering. You don’t dust off your brain by hearing these things again. And maybe you can take some action on them.
[00:31:54] Robert Hossary: Correct. and you know, yes. Maybe they’ve heard these lessons before, but they have never heard your anecdotes before.
[00:32:02] Robert Hossary: They’ve never heard your perspective on these lessons before. And that’s what’s unique about our show. we, and
[00:32:08] Joe Templin: one of the things I was talking with, this agency this morning that I wanted to speak, and I’m telling them a lot of the same things that they hear all the time from their management, but we all tune out mom and dad eventually.
[00:32:20] Joe Templin: Okay. But when somebody else says the same thing, especially when it’s, you know, the fun uncle, the funcle, which I get to be, comes on in with some of his crazy stories, you’re like, oh wow, I didn’t believe that. And they’re, and they’re all excited about because they’re hearing something in a new way.
[00:32:36] Robert Hossary: yes. Absolutely. Correct.


[00:32:38] Lesson 7: Truth is Told Through Jokes


[00:32:38] Robert Hossary: Alright, well, speaking of the fun uncle, lesson number seven, truth is told through jokes. Well, I agree with that, but the jokes I heard when I was young, can’t be told anymore because they were just awful.
[00:32:53] Joe Templin: So one of the biggest things is we have to realize that we need to laugh at ourselves the most. Because the more you can laugh at yourself, the, it shows that you have a control and an understanding of yourself and things don’t get too crazy. So like I, you know the example of spilling coffee all over yourself?
[00:33:09] Joe Templin: So did that and like, so one arm was all brown and everything. So I’m like, oh, you know, which did you like better? The brown shirt or the white shirt? And people realize, okay, this person has resilience to be able to deal with unexpected things. And you need that. Going back to the first lesson, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.
[00:33:28] Joe Templin: So if you can show that you can adapt, that you can laugh at yourself because you know what? I make grave mistakes all the time to quote Thor. So I do stupid things. Hopefully it’s different stupid things and I make mistakes and I laugh at myself and people need to do that. But also sometimes you need to be pithy to get your point across.
[00:33:50] Joe Templin: So an example when I was in graduate school and my best friend was working on his PhD and he was working on it for years, writing his thesis, and he ended up putting a bunch of weight. And so this is when I was really heavily into martial arts and everything. And so I’m getting, coming back from my martial arts class and he makes a comment, about being in shape.
[00:34:12] Joe Templin: I look right him, I’m like, yeah, round’s a good shape. And he is like, you did not just, I look right at him and laughed. I’m like, yes, I did. And so it’s, you need to have the right relationship with somebody to say that. But he went and started changing his eating habits and getting out and exercising more, and two weeks later he was like, see, I’m not so around anymore.
[00:34:34] Joe Templin: And, you know, he went and made those changes, which he needed to do. So it takes a good friend to tell you the truth. And it takes a better friend to make a joke out of it so that you actually understand and make changes that you need to.
[00:34:48] Robert Hossary: It also takes a, a strong person to accept
[00:34:52] Joe Templin: oh yeah,
[00:34:52] Robert Hossary: those comments
[00:34:54] Joe Templin: Well that’s one of the major things is people don’t want criticism. ’cause criticism points out our flaws and makes us feel bad about ourselves. And so people don’t wanna feel bad. This is going back to do the hard things. You know, oh, I need to fix this. I need to get better. I did not lose because the world is conspiring against me.
[00:35:11] Joe Templin: Or because somebody hates me or there’s an nefarious plan. I did not do it because I failed. Okay? So what do I need to do so I don’t fail? Learn to hate losing so much that you do what it takes to win. Not cheating, but the extra hours in the studying and the practice, and the changing your mindset and learning new things and pushing yourself.
[00:35:34] Joe Templin: Okay? So you learn to win. By losing Failure is feedback is one of my sayings, which is not one of my 10 lessons. But you go and you discover what you need to do to improve, to get better. And a real friend, there’s an old Irish saying that, the best mirror in the world is a good friend. And all my military buddies, you know, the only humor that we have is dark.
[00:35:57] Robert Hossary: the one thing that I was going to ask you is Aussies are very self-deprecating. We really don’t take anything seriously, except the things that we take seriously
[00:36:10] Robert Hossary: that because you’re
[00:36:11] Joe Templin: all founded by Irish criminals that got shipped down there
[00:36:14] Robert Hossary: Pro. Probably. Probably. But. We can be self-deprecating.
[00:36:19] Robert Hossary: We can we can joke, we can do that. I have found, because I lived in the States for five years and I’ve found that Americans generally, and I’m generalizing here, do not
[00:36:31] Joe Templin: No. That not anymore. I mean, whatever happened to the days of Blazing Saddles where everything was on the table to be made fun of?
[00:36:39] Joe Templin: Yeah. Things have become too PC in that way. ’cause Oh, we don’t wanna offend people. No, you should offend people because there’s truth in it and they can learn from that and they either get better, but when you have a victim mentality, you’re not gonna get better. It just hurts me. So I need my safe space, so I’m okay.
[00:36:54] Joe Templin: And safe spaces are actually the worst thing that you can have. ’cause you’re choosing to not do the hard things. You’re choosing to purposely avoid ’em. So you get weaker and weaker mentally and physically and emotionally. And that’s the issue. So confront your fears, confront the things that you know you can’t do.
[00:37:09] Joe Templin: Well. Confront the things that you’re doing poorly, face ’em and get better. Suck it up.
[00:37:15] Robert Hossary: Now. I, I just want to just confirm we’re not saying that safe spaces, and PC are bad things when used correctly.
[00:37:26] Joe Templin: Yeah. It’s when it goes to an extreme, just like I’m not saying, Hey, you know what? Sleep on bed of nails and drink, you know, like, o only one glass of water a day and do 23 hour fast and all that.
[00:37:40] Joe Templin: No, that’s insane. Yeah. we, there’s a point in the middle and there’s actually a range within the middle. Yeah. But unfortunately, when we’re trying to protect everybody, I mean, they’ve gotten rid of merry-go-rounds and monkey bars because kids get hurt. You know why kids are supposed to get hurt.
[00:37:56] Joe Templin: That’s how, that’s a feedback mechanism. You’re gonna learn that way. They put warning labels on everything. And the more warning labels you put on things, people you know, need more warning labels. ’cause they don’t realize, oh, that’s gonna hurt. So when you get hurt on little bases, you learn not to do the big things that can kill you.
[00:38:14] Joe Templin: if you get confronted with little things, then you build up a resistance to be able to attack the big things. So it’s making things too soft, making things too safe, making things too protective. Makes it so that you can’t deal with it.
[00:38:31] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I just wanted to make that clarification so that our audience understands what you’re saying.
[00:38:37] Joe Templin: Yeah. So they don’t get the pitchforks and come after me.


[00:38:41] Lesson 8: Be a Kid.


[00:38:41] Robert Hossary: So let’s move to lesson number eight. Be a kid. . I think that’s a wonderful lesson.
[00:38:47] Robert Hossary: I think we should all be a little childish and let the child out in us. But that doesn’t happen, Joe.
[00:38:55] Joe Templin: No, because it gets crushed out and we have all these responsibilities and you have to be like within the lines at work. And you know something that PC stuff we talked about, ’cause if you get close to the line, then you’re gonna offend somebody.
[00:39:07] Joe Templin: And when you have a hundred thousand people in your organization, somebody’s gonna be offended by everything. So, you know, we, the organizations need to learn. Okay, look. Don’t get offended by that. Okay. It’s not that bad, you know, you need to suck it up a little bit. But being able to enjoy, to have jokes.
[00:39:27] Joe Templin: So like, one of the things that I used to do, and you might get a kick out of this when I was in sales, is everybody sends Christmas cards. And so there’s like 500 Christmas cards on people’s mantles, so yours gets lost. So I started sending other sorts of cards. I’d send a Thanksgiving card, I would send a Halloween card ’cause I love Halloween being Irish.
[00:39:45] Joe Templin: I’d send St. Patrick’s day’s, I’d send 4th of July cards for Independence Day. And when they opened the card, there was glitter. So there was like,
[00:39:55] Robert Hossary: my God, they must have hated you. They must have hated you.
[00:39:59] Joe Templin: Oh, absolutely. I would get calls like three months after I found glitter on my carpet Templin.
[00:40:08] Joe Templin: And so I did it for, two and a half years that there was always, my clients would call me and say, I’m opening your card over the garbage now. So I did that, but then I stopped sending glitter. I did not send glitter and two sets of cards and my clients were calling me, where’s my glitter? Okay, so it’s a stupid little thing sending a Halloween card instead of sending just the traditional cards
[00:40:36] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:40:36] Joe Templin: At different times. And, you know, having like, jack ‘o lantern glitter in it or back glitter or stuff like that, it’s, they get a laugh out there. But one of the things is that you get people to laugh. They’re more receptive. Chris Voss, the former head of hostage negotiation for the F B I, his book, never split the difference in some of his talks.
[00:40:57] Joe Templin: If you get somebody to laugh, they are 35% more receptive for about the next five to 15 minutes. And the more you can get somebody to laugh, if you look using the triune brain model, the middle part of the brain, which is all emotion relationship and memory, you really light that up when you get humor going and they’re laughing and you know, it decreases, the cortisol increases the dopamine and serotonin.
[00:41:24] Joe Templin: So biochemically, they’re all like more prime to bond with you. It releases oxytocin too. And then I. What happens when that is done is they embed better memories of you. And if we look at the trust factor, one of the components of that long range is association. And so they have great memories of laughing with you and that’s going to tinge their view of you in everything.
[00:41:49] Joe Templin: And so they’re more likely to do business with you. They’re more likely to refer you. They reach out to you on certain things because they just enjoy being in your presence because you can neither be with somebody who’s a grumpy gus all the time, or somebody who even though they take their business very seriously, don’t take themselves seriously.
[00:42:10] Joe Templin: Yeah. So my clients used to say, I didn’t realize this was going to be one, a therapy session and two, a comedy show. And they came back over and over again and they referred me to other people. They’re like, Templin’s a goofball, but he really knows his stuff. You gotta talk to him.
[00:42:25] Robert Hossary: This is true. This is so true.
[00:42:27] Robert Hossary: And there is that fine line. So, you know, people, what Joe is talking about is demonstrably true. Joe’s experienced it and he shared that with us. I’ve experienced it. You talk to any professional who does this, they’ve experienced it. But there is a fine line. We are not saying Here be an idiot.
[00:42:48] Robert Hossary: We’re saying, let the child out in you again when it’s appropriate. Yep. So, I love it.


[00:42:59] Lesson 9: Speak Love, and in Their Language.


[00:42:59] Robert Hossary: Alright, let’s talk about lesson number nine. Speak, love and in their language. What do you mean by that?
[00:43:08] Joe Templin: So this is really about the platinum rule. The golden rule is treat others how you’d wanna be treated. The platinum rule is treat others the way they want to be treated.
[00:43:18] Joe Templin: And I was actually having a conversation with, this agency this morning. We got into a conversation around love languages. And so like my love language primarily is physical touch and, but my second it theory is quality time. And so, my significant other, her number one is gifts. And her second though is words of appreciation.
[00:43:44] Joe Templin: And so I need to show that I care for her, not in my manner, but in the way that she appreciates the most. So she’ll show up at her office and there is like a little note every couple of days where I just take an index card, one of these, I fold it up and I turn it into a card. She’s an artist and I can barely draw like a five-year-old.
[00:44:08] Joe Templin: So she appreciates it. She finds it funny, she gets a laugh and she gets that little thing of Joe is thinking about me. Yeah. And this translates into a lot of other areas. So I had a lot of engineers as clients. I went to an engineering school, I went to Rensselaer Polytechnic. Our mascot is the engineers.
[00:44:27] Joe Templin: So we were all nerds there. And so I had a ton of clients in that space. And one of the things I did with all my clients before going into presentation mode with them would be, how do you process information? And they’d be like, what do you mean? I’m like, well, my engineered clients, you know, people like me, they love spreadsheets, they wanna see every gory detail, they wanna see the formulas, they wanna see how I derived every single thing.
[00:44:55] Joe Templin: If I did that with a normal human being, your eyes would roll into the back of your head. And anybody who is an engineer laughs. ’cause they’re like, yeah, that’s us. And everyone who’s not an engineer but knows an engineer laughs because they’re like, yeah, that’s what would happen. So I had a lot of, executive clients, so I would use an executive summary or, my military clients, I’d use bluff format, bottom line, upfront format with my clients who are artists.
[00:45:25] Joe Templin: I’d use a lot of colors. Green is good, red is bad. And so I was conveying the information in a way that they were most receptive to. Because if you’re not conveying the information in a way that they can receive, it’s like you’re speaking Greek to somebody who only speaks French. So people who like, use lots of numbers and all that to an artist, they’re just going to not comprehend because you’re literally speaking a different language.
[00:45:52] Joe Templin: So speak the love language of those individuals in the way that they’re receptive to and do it often. Okay. One of the things is my parents taught me la when I get off the phone with my dad, my mom’s been gone multiple years, or my relatives or anybody I really care about. I tell ’em I love them. I don’t care if they think it’s weird or anything because I, I did not do that with my godfather, when he, 25 plus years ago.
[00:46:22] Joe Templin: And then, you know, I just, you know, see and left the farm to go do something one day and a week later he died. I never got a chance to tell him I love him, so I’m not gonna have that ever happen again.
[00:46:34] Robert Hossary: I hear you. And that’s a very important lesson on its own. But it takes a while, to learn someone’s language
[00:46:44] Joe Templin: or it can be stupid blatant like me and just, you know, say, you know, how do you learn?
[00:46:49] Joe Templin: Or, you know, say, you know what? I don’t know. What’s your love language? So I can, you know, so I appreciate you in the right way. And most people will say, what do you mean? And then you talk about it with them. And a lot of people don’t realize that they have a particular way. Now I’ve gotten pretty good about figuring out people over time.
[00:47:09] Joe Templin: And so when I was talking with this one person, I’m like, so, you know, you do this and you have this, and you’ve got this in your background, and so it looks like this is what’s going on. And she, he was like, oh, wow. You’re absolutely right. I never thought about that. So when you’re explaining this and having a discussion, not being judgmental, but saying, this is why I see this is what I think and feel about this is my understanding, it allows them to then grow and understand themselves.
[00:47:39] Joe Templin: And so they can then operate from a higher level because they now have this knowledge, not just of themselves, but how they interact with others. Because then there, this person came back to me is like, you know, so I realized that my one client, this is their particular language. And so I show that I care for them in this way.
[00:47:58] Joe Templin: It’s helped my business relationship.
[00:48:01] Robert Hossary: Yeah, a absolutely and people, this is a very important point. the platinum rule is something that I’ve followed my entire career since I realized the mistake that I was making. but what Joe said is spot on. Again. Rewind, re-listen, learn.


[00:48:24] Lesson 10: Have Fun, Don’t Die!


[00:48:24] Robert Hossary: Alright, Joe, let’s move to lesson number 10.
[00:48:29] Robert Hossary: Now, it seems like it’s something that, you know, my dad would say, but okay. Lesson number 10. Have fun. Don’t die.
[00:48:41] Joe Templin: Another thing from my mom, the nun. So, growing up out in the country, you know, summer vacation, We didn’t have all these scheduled things. We had swim lessons, in the morning, a couple days a week.
[00:48:53] Joe Templin: But other than that, we were on our own. We were feral almost. It’s not like she threw like Cheerios on the floor and did full free range parenting, but it was close to that in a lot of ways. She’d kick us out in the morning. She’s like, yo, there’s the bathroom. You know where it is? The garden hose is outside.
[00:49:08] Joe Templin: ’cause you know, that’s what we drank from. And she’s like, I don’t wanna see you till lunch. Have fun. Don’t die. Okay. Yeah. And so those are great directions. And so she used to tell my kids this. My ex-wife actually hates this because they’re like, overprotected, it needs to be scheduled and you need to have all this.
[00:49:28] Joe Templin: Yeah. And you know, you can’t go outside the rules and you know, it’s all about how you others perceive you. And you know, it’s very much fitting into proper society where my family, it’s like, no, you know, you push the rules, you figure stuff out. Growing up on a farm, you had to figure out how things worked and how to make things, be effective with constraints.
[00:49:51] Joe Templin: And there was always more stuff to be done. And so you need, we didn’t have the computer games. We did not have all the expensive stuff. We did not have all the scheduled activities with others. It was like, okay, go outside. What do we have to play with today? All right, let’s figure it out. So you learn to make your own fun.
[00:50:08] Joe Templin: And the full saying that we tell each other is, I love you. Have fun. Don’t die. Yeah. And so like the first time my four year old said that to me at school, when I dropped him off at pre-K, the looks I got from the parents and from like the staff, they’re like, what? It’s like, yeah, love you, have fun. Don’t die.
[00:50:29] Joe Templin: And so have fun. Engage, grow, learn, interact, do all that stuff. And if you’re not dead, guess what? It’s a learning lesson. If it’s not fatal, it’s not final. So okay, you screwed up that business deal. Is it the end of the world? Going back to Ken Jeong, but did you die? Okay, get back on up, figure out another way it So love you.
[00:50:54] Joe Templin: Absolutely love, have fun, don’t die.
[00:50:55] Robert Hossary: Absolutely love that. That’s brilliant. Alright, well let there your 10 lessons, Joe. And they were fantastic. Let me ask you now.
[00:51:05] Robert Hossary: With all of your experience, what have you, unlearned?
[00:51:09] Joe Templin: What have I unlearned something. So being the former gifted kid. Right, right.
[00:51:15] Joe Templin: So like being the gifted kid, I started college at 13 ’cause my parents said 12 was too young to start college. Just so that your listeners know that. Okay. when I was 10, you know, I, tested with like an IQ that was completely and totally off the charts. My mom didn’t tell me what the IQ was until much later when I was eight.
[00:51:33] Joe Templin: I said I wanted to learn everything there was to know my mom’s like, there’s the encyclopedia. Get reading. So I did. I read it all. But so when you’re growing up in that sort of environment, that really high standard of academics and in a lot of ways they expect perfection. And so I had to learn over time, you’re never gonna have perfection.
[00:51:56] Joe Templin: And the martial arts was great for this ’cause you’re chasing perfection, but you learn that you’re never going to have it, but you can still get better. And so I had to unlearn about perfection. I had to realize sometimes good enough is good enough. I had to learn about, you know, M V P, minimum viable product, ship it out and you can improve it, and you can improve it, and you can improve it.
[00:52:19] Joe Templin: And sometimes you reach the point of diminishing returns and sometimes you just have to say, you know what, no, I’m not gonna do that. I don’t want to be good at that thing. I don’t have to do this. You know what? I screwed up something in my career, so be it. And so, being able to accept not having a perfect score on everything.
[00:52:39] Joe Templin: ’cause guess what? In life you’re not gonna get a perfect score to understand the messiness and the diversions and the non-linear components that necessary for success. Especially if you’re taking a non-traditional career path by building a business or being a writer, or being a podcast host like you.
[00:52:57] Joe Templin: Okay? It’s not a linear thing. It’s not a then B, then C. It is multi-variable. There’s all these different things. And you know what? It’s not gonna be perfect. It’s not gonna be pretty all the time, but you know what? It’s functional and it’s good enough.
[00:53:09] Robert Hossary: That is a wonderful lesson to unlearn and it’s something that’s taken a lot of people a long time to learn.
[00:53:17] Robert Hossary: Some of them still don’t learn it. they need to be perfect. Perfection is the enemy of advancement, of innovation. you don’t need to be perfect. Good enough is good enough, as Joe says that. That’s fantastic. So, Joe, tell us where can we find you? What are you doing? what do you wanna leave our listeners with?
[00:53:36] Joe Templin: Well, hopefully you can find me in the pub.
[00:53:42] Joe Templin: So they can, people can find me on lots of different channels. My YouTube and my Twitter are both at @ EDEwithJoe, that’s @ EDE for Everyday Excellence with Joe. That’s me obviously. So they can track me there. There’s lots of free stuff every single day. I post to both those there. There’s a lot of really cool things there.
[00:54:06] Joe Templin: if they go to my website, everyday excellence.com, that’s everyday excellence.com. I’ve got more free sources there. I put the podcast up so they’ll find this and a whole bunch of other ones. they can also find my training and my books and all that there. But what I really want ’em to do is when they go there, sign up for my free app.
[00:54:25] Joe Templin: Really free. No cost at all, other than a little bigger time to do it. Three day, three Brain. Training. So every day for three days, you’re gonna get an email. We explore how the trying brain works so you can understand why you do stupid things or why you wanna go to the pub instead of do your homework or do your work, various things like that.
[00:54:44] Joe Templin: So it allows you to have a better understanding of yourself and other people so that you can make better decisions and reach your goals.
[00:54:53] Robert Hossary: Fantastic. And all those links will be in the show notes so people can just have a look at the transcript and the show notes and just click the link. Well that’s fantastic.
[00:55:03] Robert Hossary: Thank you. And we’ll finish here. Today, you’ve been listening to 10 Lessons Learned. Our guest today has been Joe Template sharing his 10 lessons Learned. This episode is supported as always by the Professional Development Forum. please tell us what you think of today’s lessons. You can. Email us at podcast@tenlessonslearned.com.
[00:55:23] Robert Hossary: And while you’re at it, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and turn on your notification bell so you don’t miss the only show on the internet that makes the world wiser. Lesson buy lesson. Thank you for listening, and we love you. Have fun.
[00:55:40] Robert Hossary: Don’t die.

 

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

Joe Templin

Joe Templin – Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself

Joe Templin is an Author, Founder and Managing Director. He tells us why “Harder is better”; why we should “Be a kid”, that “a strong enough Why, overcomes any How” and much more. Hosted by Robert Hossary.

About Joe Templin

Reformed physicist, financial planner, startup founder and autodidactic polymath best described as a Swiss Army Knife, Joe Templin has invested the past two and a half plus decades to helping others reach their financial potential as a planner, trainer, mentor and creator. He has served as a member of NAIFA (the National Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors) on the local, state, and national level, and including three terms on the NAIFA National Young Advisors Team (YAT) Subcommittee and was honored as one of the 2011 Four Under 40. He is a graduate of the Leadership in Life Institute of NAIFA as well as Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, and is an alum of Johns Hopkins University.
Joe earned his CFP as well as his CHARTERED ADVISOR OF PHILANTHROPY, CLU, and ChFC designations and has qualified numerous times for the Million Dollar Round Table. He has been a business columnist for the Albany Times Union, Adviser Today Magazine, The Ballston Journal, and Insurance News Net. Joe earned his Certified Executive Counsellor designation as well as his Master Executive Counsellor in 2021.
Joe served as the President of the Castle Alpha Tau Foundation for Pi Kappa Phi Fraternity and as the Chapter Advisor, and is currently a Board Member of The Autism Society of the Greater Capital Region. He has been a member of The Ancient Order of Hibernians for over 20 years, and is the Lieutenant of the Honor Guard.
Templin is the Managing Director of the Unique Minds Consulting Group, LLC, and is the author of “Every Day Excellence” and co-authored “Do You Want To Make MDRT, Or Not?” with Dr. John Stolk as well as “Choices: Creating a Financial Services Career”.
Joe is a Co-Founder and President of The Intro Machine, Inc. an organization dedicated to teaching professionals in a variety of fields how to build an Introduction Based Business. He has spoken all across the US and Canada on ethical business development.
In his free time, Joe enjoys running Ragnars (200 ish mile team relay races) ultramarathons and is a champion-level martial artist. He lives in Ballston Spa, New York, with his hooligan boys Danny, Liam, and Colin. They are huge Yankees fans.

Episode Notes

Lesson 1: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Mean Nothing. 03:50
Lesson 2: A Strong Enough Why, Overcomes Any How. 09:16
Lesson 3: Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself. 12:03
Lesson 4: Harder is Better. 17:24
Lesson 5: See It, then Be It. 22:52
Lesson 6: Bad Day? Help Someone. 26:49
Lesson 7: Truth is Told Through Jokes 32:38
Lesson 8: Be a Kid. 38:41
Lesson 9: Speak Love, and in Their Language. 42:59
Lesson 10: Have Fun, Don’t Die! 48:24

Joe Templin – Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself.


[00:00:08] Robert Hossary: Hello, and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, where we talk to sages and gurus, leaders, and luminaries from all over the world to dispense their wisdom for your career, business, and life in order to make the world a wiser place, lesson by lesson.
[00:00:24] Robert Hossary: My name is Robert Hossary and I’m your host for this episode.
[00:00:28] Robert Hossary: Today’s guest is Joe Templin.
[00:00:31] Robert Hossary: Joe is the author of Everyday Excellence, A Guide to Growing and Co-Author. Do you want to make M D R T or not? as well as Choices Creating a Financial Services Career with Dr. John Stoke.
[00:00:46] Robert Hossary: Joe is the co-founder and president of the Intro Machine, incorporated, an organization dedicated to teaching professionals in a variety of fields, how to build an introduction based business,
[00:01:00] Robert Hossary: and is currently a board member and vice president of the Autism Society of the Greater Hudson Region. he has spoken across the US and Canada on ethical business development, and he’s with us today. Welcome, Joe,
[00:01:14] Joe Templin: Robert. I’ve been looking forward to this all week, my friend.
[00:01:17] Robert Hossary: Well, thank you very much for being with us. I really appreciate it. I know that you’re traveling, I know that it’s a bit difficult for you, but thank you for making the time for us today.
[00:01:26] Joe Templin: Oh, thank you for letting me share the story and hopefully help some of your listeners get one or two things they can use to help them out.
[00:01:34] Robert Hossary: That’s what we’re about. That’s what 10 lessons, it’s all about. Let’s start with a, a very simple question for you, Joe. What would you have told your younger self with all the knowledge that you have now, what would you wish you had someone would’ve told you when you were younger?
[00:01:51] Joe Templin: This is actually something that I told my 15 year old recently because he is essentially my mini me in a lot of ways, don’t have to carry the entire world’s burden.
[00:02:04] Joe Templin: You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to make everything right. It’s not all your responsibility.
[00:02:10] Robert Hossary: That is really good advice, especially when you think about teenagers and you think about where we were in the pressure society put on us at that age.
[00:02:20] Joe Templin: It’s even worse these days. I don’t know how they deal with it.
[00:02:23] Joe Templin: You know, it was, we didn’t have social media, so luckily there were no pictures of us being stupid in our teens and the early twenties. There was not the hyper attention to every single detail. What you did not live on, for decades being captured and back then having different paths was okay.
[00:02:42] Joe Templin: smart kids went to college. If that wasn’t what was intended for you, you could go military, you could go into trades, you could go into arts. So it was all encouraged. Recently, it’s been everybody needs to go to college. You need to get these degrees and all that, and it started loosening up a little bit.
[00:03:00] Joe Templin: But there’s still these immense pressures to conform and within the school systems, you can’t be flippant. There’s no humor allowed anywhere anymore. You can’t be relaxed. And if you’re doing something that somebody could find mildly offensive, then there’s going to be blowback. And so it is restricting their capability to be themselves and explore and discover, which is critical.
[00:03:28] Joe Templin: That’s what your teens and twenties are really about, is discovering who you are and what lights your fire so that you can then explore and develop that over time.
[00:03:37] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. And, that would be great advice. I wish I, I had told myself that as well. look, we can discuss that for a long time, but let’s move on to your 10 lessons.
[00:03:48] Robert Hossary: and I love them, so thank you for sharing them with us.


[00:03:50] Lesson 1: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Mean Nothing.


[00:03:50] Robert Hossary: So let’s go to lesson number one. The best laid plans of mice and men mean nothing. I love that. I love that.
[00:03:59] Joe Templin: Or as John Lennon said, life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans. ’cause if I had followed the plan that had been laid out for me as the gifted kid, I would’ve gone finished college, gotten my PhD by the time I was 21 years old, years continue to re research for the government on the side, ultimately become a professor and consult and be completely and totally along that track.
[00:04:20] Joe Templin: And that did not happen. That was your, nor did I get married, have the golden retriever, white picket fence, 2.2 kids in the minivan.
[00:04:28] Robert Hossary: So Why then? Is that a cliche? Why is it that society pushes us to have our plans, our life plans? I understand business plans. I totally understand that. and the five year business plan now is pretty much out the window because the world changes that quickly.
[00:04:48] Robert Hossary: Yeah. But in, in life, in your career, why is it that planning means nothing?
[00:04:57] Joe Templin: Because as you said, things change so much and there are so many variables. If it was just a simple linear equation, go to school, graduate, you know, then you could have a linear path. But that doesn’t take into account things like if you have a bad professor who makes it so that you hate intermediate mechanics, which I didn’t have, but that could be an example.
[00:05:19] Joe Templin: Or, you know, you fall in love with somebody and they are in the military, so you follow them or they’re going on a different path. So there’s those sort of things there are out there, that disrupt things. One of the big things is that, okay, one of my, actually my biggest goal, the one thing that I always wanted to be was a good father.
[00:05:41] Joe Templin: And I had this career path laid out. And then there was the new leadership in the organization, you know, had some significant ethical issues and there was integrity issues among the leadership. And so when I called them out, you know, I got blown up for it. And so the business that I had spent 15 plus years building, that was becoming incredibly successful at that point, I suddenly lost it.
[00:06:06] Joe Templin: And so I went from making an incredibly good income to saying, what am I gonna do? And this is in end of 2007 and we all know what happened in 2008. So that completely disrupted things further. At that point, I had my oldest two, my youngest child, or my second child and my youngest one at that point, when he was a couple months old, we realized that he had been born with a twisted spine.
[00:06:29] Joe Templin: So he was in physical and occupational therapy every single day for the next six months. That sort of changed things. And then later on, my youngest was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. At that point, my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger’s and O C D. So you need to be able to adopt the stoics, have a saying or a belief system Amor Fati, which means love your fate.
[00:06:56] Joe Templin: You need to accept it. And I’m, I don’t necessarily love everything that’s happened, but I’ve learned from it and I know I can’t change it. So you spend time, you extract what lessons that you can, the pearls of wisdom as my father calls them. And you be able to move forward. Yeah. So, you know, time is a linear dimension.
[00:07:15] Joe Templin: We can’t move back, so we have to make the best of what we can today and going forward.
[00:07:22] Robert Hossary: That is so true. there, there’s a lot of Buddhist philosophy that, supports everything you just said. The the one thing when I was a young sales cadet, I used to go to these sales. I, it belonged to a sales club and we’d have a breakfast meeting, different salespeople from all different industries.
[00:07:40] Robert Hossary: And we used to start the morning off with the thought of the day. And the one thought of the day that popped into my mind when you were talking was, have a plan, but don’t fall in love with it.
[00:07:53] Joe Templin: Right? And more important than having a plan is having a mission or a goal. Yeah. Because if you have a mission, then you can adapt what you are doing to still fulfill the mission.
[00:08:04] Joe Templin: If you have the goal, which is actually,what I’m gonna talk about in a little bit with some of the other lessons. If you know that I have to accomplish X, well this path might not work. It’s like you’re driving someplace and the road’s closed, well you’re gonna take a detour because you still need to end up at that destination.
[00:08:23] Joe Templin: So you need to be flexible in terms of the approach and the methodologies, but don’t give up on the ultimate destination.
[00:08:30] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. And isn’t that a wonderful metaphor for life? Because we don’t see those parallels from physical life to our lives. You know? Yes, you’re right. If it
[00:08:42] Joe Templin: ’cause we’re too close to the situation and we get so emotionally involved.
[00:08:46] Joe Templin: Yeah. Oh, I had my heart set on this and now my heart’s broken. Exactly. And so you’re like scrambling and all that. And so that is why the stoics say Amor Fati and being able to have a little bit of, stoic or zen Buddhism, they’re very close in a lot ways. And just say, okay, I’m still getting over there.
[00:09:03] Joe Templin: I’m just gonna take the different path.
[00:09:05] Robert Hossary: That’s exactly right. And that is a powerful, powerful mindset to have if you can develop it. So that is a great lesson. Thank you Joe, that really is a very strong lesson.


[00:09:16] Lesson 2: A Strong Enough Why, Overcomes Any How.


[00:09:16] Robert Hossary: Let’s move on to lesson number two. A strong enough. Why overcomes any how? Now, I think I understand it, but I’d like you to explain it.
[00:09:27] Joe Templin: So I love to use the example of my friend Tommy, the firefighter I. And Tommy, the firefighter, trained new firefighters in a lot ways. And so one of the early trainings they would do with them is there’s this building, it is on fire. There are children inside that you need to save. What do you do? Okay, I’m gonna go through the door.
[00:09:49] Joe Templin: Oh, doors steel and barricade. You can’t get, I’m gonna go through the window, steel bars over it. Can’t do that. Okay, I’m gonna go through the wall. It’s reinforced. Okay. And he would just keep playing these scenarios and he’d keep, remind him there are kids inside. And so like ultimately like the solution is take the truck and drive into the wall to open up so that you can get inside is was one of the solutions that other people came up with.
[00:10:14] Joe Templin: Other ones. But if what you are trying to accomplish is more important than anything else in your world, you will find a way. Yeah. So my friends who are special needs parents take care of that kid. That’s the most important thing in their entire universe. You’ll, be able to run your business so that you can take care of your kid.
[00:10:33] Joe Templin: If I put a gun to somebody’s head and said, you need to come up with $50,000 within 24 hours, or else I’m gonna shoot your child, guess what? They’re coming up with that money. So we need to not care about everything at that level ’cause it will burn you out. But if there are some things that are that important where learning is as important as breathing, as one of the old philosophers said when he was holding a student underwater, if what you’re trying to accomplish it is literally an obsession, a grand obsession, a lot of ways, then you will be successful because you will figure it out somehow.
[00:11:13] Joe Templin: ’cause nothing will stand between you and them. This is why, you know, a hundred pound woman can pick a car off her baby.
[00:11:20] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. and that, that’s a very important point. You know, if your why, if your purpose is there, then you will find a way to do it. you’re absolutely right and I’ve experienced it.
[00:11:36] Robert Hossary: I’m sure many of our listeners have experienced, I’m sure you’ve experienced it. and those who haven’t experienced it, just think about what Joe just said. Because it’s true and it does work. If you give it some thought, you’ll see that you have actually experienced it in one way or another throughout your life sometime.
[00:11:57] Robert Hossary: I have no doubt. that’s a fantastic lesson, a very powerful one too actually. They’re all powerful lessons.


[00:12:03] Lesson 3: Sacrifice Of Myself, To Myself.


[00:12:03] Robert Hossary: Let’s go to lesson number three because I actually like this. I like all of them, but I like this because it speaks it to, to me, and it speaks to something that I’ve experienced in my life.
[00:12:16] Robert Hossary: Lesson number three, sacrifice of myself to myself. Talk to me about that, Joe.
[00:12:24] Joe Templin: So this actually comes from a very bad 1980s hair metal song from the Band of Man of War. They write lots of songs about Norse mythology, and this is about Odin when he hung on the Tree of Life for nine days and tore out his own eye for one drink of drink, the water of wisdom.
[00:12:45] Joe Templin: And so he made a sacrifice of himself, but to himself. So when you go to the gym every single day and you’re sweating and it’s painful and you hate it, and you’re pushing through it, what are you doing? You’re making a current sacrifice. You’re experiencing temporary pain, and you’re allocating time. What for?
[00:13:05] Joe Templin: To yourself to unlock the better version of you. To have more physical strength, to have better emotional control, which is one of the things that heavy working out does to extend your life. Because that hour that you spend in the gym is going to add three hours, five hours a week to your life ultimately.
[00:13:26] Joe Templin: And not just longevity, but a better life style. So studying for your exams instead of playing video games, which is a lot more fun. Studying is a sacrifice, but it’s a sacrifice to future you, to get that better job, to get that promotion, to get all these better things, you know, so you make sacrifices of yourself to yourself for that better version, better vision of who you could potentially be.
[00:13:55] Joe Templin: And what we need to do is work on unlocking that because as Michelangelo saw within the block of marble, he saw the David in there and he just removed the marble to get to it. We have excellence within us of some capacity.
[00:14:13] Joe Templin: It is our job to unlock that. How do you unlock that with consistent effort, focused on certain things and being able to say, I enjoy this, but this is better. I love my donuts example that I talk about all the time. I absolutely love my donuts, but you know, I eat them once a month on my cheat day so that I can have the physical power and be able to train martial arts and running and all these other things.
[00:14:40] Joe Templin: Also, the discipline and willpower to say, I really want a donut. I’m not going to have one. Because that willpower is a skill that then bleeds over into other areas. Yeah, because the discipline did not eat the donut is the same discipline that helps me make my bed, even though I hate making my bed every morning.
[00:15:02] Joe Templin: It’s the same discipline that lets me pick up the phone to call that potential client that I don’t really wanna call, but I’m going to. And that then gets me something better. On the far side of purposely choosing that pain.
[00:15:16] Robert Hossary: You’re spot on. And I think what you’ve just said, choosing. Everything we do is a choice.
[00:15:24] Robert Hossary: People. Everything we do is our choice.
[00:15:27] Joe Templin: That’s why that one book that I wrote with Dr. John Stolk, we decide to call it Choices, Creating a Financial Services Career because we are a product of our choices.
[00:15:37] Robert Hossary: Yes.
[00:15:38] Joe Templin: And so with building a financial services career, everything is a choice. Are you going to work on getting your designations or not?
[00:15:44] Joe Templin: Are you going to pick up the phone and be uncomfortable or not? Are you gonna ask for introductions to potential clients or are you gonna take the easy route? Are you going to do the hard things that make you better? Or are you going choose convenience, which is diametrically opposed to excellence.
[00:16:02] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:16:03] Robert Hossary: these are things that as a young sales cadet, I didn’t learn that, but I learned techniques. And some of the techniques I totally were totally against my values. I chose not to use those and I chose to form relationships. So, and I was successful. And that taught me that the choices for my life are my choices.
[00:16:29] Robert Hossary: Right or wrong is irrelevant. It’s my choice. And if it’s a wrong choice, then guess what? I’ve learned from it and I move it.
[00:16:37] Joe Templin: I own it. And that goes back to lesson one. Yep. Where you learn to accept it, you learn to extract the, insights from it. Yep. And so next time you make a different mistake.
[00:16:50] Robert Hossary: Yep. So sacrificing of yourself to yourself is a great way of putting it.
[00:16:56] Robert Hossary: I’ve never heard it put that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. And again, when I host these episodes, a lot of the listeners hear me say this over and over again, but I really mean it. If you don’t understand it, rewind it, listen to it again. Because if you know, the more you listen to it, the more it will hit home.
[00:17:19] Robert Hossary: I think it’s a brilliant lesson. So thank you for sharing that with us.


[00:17:24] Lesson 4: Harder is Better.


[00:17:24] Robert Hossary: Let’s go on to lesson number four, because, this is to me again, a well duh moment. lesson number four, harder is better. Okay. We know this, but tell us what you think about that.
[00:17:39] Joe Templin: Because if you choose to do hard things when you don’t have to When the world forces you to do hard things, you can do it. So, I think believe it was Seneca, the Stoic said, you know, every once in a while eat the meanest of foods. You know, be cold on purpose, you know, skip a meal, wear bad clothes so that you appreciate the good ones so that you can say, is this the worst thing that happens?
[00:18:08] Joe Templin: So, you know what, oh, so I have to cut back and live on peanut butter and jelly for a week because we’re waiting for this, these deals to close. And, you know, things are tight. Oh, well, so be it. I can do that. You know, if you choose to go run in the rain when you know your feet all gross and sloppy and I hate it, and you’re squishy, it’s the worst.
[00:18:33] Joe Templin: And for the first mile I’m like, why the hell am I doing this? And the second mile this sucks and the third mile, especially when it’s windy and cold and you’re like, this is horrible. I’m an idiot for doing this. And then you’re almost home and you’re like, I’m almost there. And you get inside and you take off all the wet stuff and you take that warm shower and you’re like,ha.
[00:18:53] Joe Templin: And I, last time I did this, I said, I literally said I deposited. I made a deposit into the resilience account so that when something bad does happen, I can deal with it. When I have a bad streak in business or when somebody close to you is sick, you then have the reserves to be able to do this.
[00:19:15] Joe Templin: I mean, iron becomes a sword by hammering it and getting rid of all the impurities. Okay. If you’re not choosing to hammer it, guess what? You’re gonna be weak and break when you get hammered. So you can either choose to hammer on yourself by doing the hard things, or you can let the world hammer you and break you.
[00:19:38] Robert Hossary: What a wonderful metaphor that is. What a,
[00:19:41] Joe Templin: I just made that up.
[00:19:41] Robert Hossary: Absolutely. Yeah. Well, thank you. thank you.
[00:19:43] Joe Templin: Thank you for the opportunity, Robert.
[00:19:45] Robert Hossary: Wonderful metaphor. This is brilliant because you’re spot on. You are absolutely right. appreciation. I think we don’t appreciate appreciation, as much as we should.
[00:19:59] Joe Templin: Dude, that is something that is really critical. I’ve actually been thinking about this recently because I had two separate people who I care very dearly for. Tell me in the past couple of days. I appreciate you. And words of affirmation are not one of my primary love languages. If you’re familiar with chaplain’s, love languages.
[00:20:19] Joe Templin: But just to be told, that’s like, wow. Okay. Yes. And having an attitude of gratitude, it made me pause and look around and say, who do I really appreciate that I haven’t told that to recently. And because of that, I reached out to a couple of people, some out of the blue actually, and just told them.
[00:20:40] Joe Templin: So being appreciated, understanding that it’s important is one of those things. And it’s so little. I mean, it took me 30 seconds to send each one of those texts.
[00:20:52] Robert Hossary: Yeah. It’s so true. It’s so true people. .Appreciation is underrated. and it adds so much not only to your life, but to the lives of the people that you appreciate.
[00:21:06] Robert Hossary: I have done that myself, I just can’t describe the feeling, but, it also has made me stronger and made me able to appreciate the good things. But back to your lesson, all these things that are hard for us, if we can overcome them, we can then see that, you know what? It wasn’t that bad. We catastrophize all of these things in our mind.
[00:21:31] Robert Hossary: Oh, it’s raining, I’m not gonna go running. what’s it gonna do? What is it gonna do to you? I mean, I don’t run, by the way, I don’t run.
[00:21:38] Joe Templin: You’re not made outta sugar, you’re not gonna melt. So Ken Jeong has one of the best lines, and it’s one of my favorite, GIFs to use also from the Hangover. But did you die?
[00:21:52] Robert Hossary: Beautiful.
[00:21:52] Joe Templin: And so, you know, I use that multiple times a week. Not just sending it to, bust on my friends. But, I send it to my kids. I mean, like, one of the, my kids is like, you know, there was this issue, you know, we ran a milk for breakfast. I’m like, did you die? And he’s like, no, I sucked it up and got through it.
[00:22:12] Joe Templin: It’s like beautiful. Yeah. So my mom, the nun taught them that phrase. She used to tell it to me when I was a kid, suck it up. Okay. Just. You know, it’s not gonna kill you to not have the newest, gee whizz gizmo. It’s not gonna kill you to have this sort of thing. You know what, you can suck anything up for a little period of time, whether it’s doing a two minute plank to help improve your body, or it’s occasionally staying late in the office to get the job done.
[00:22:42] Joe Templin: Or, you know, helping that little old lady, it’s not gonna kill you. Suck it up. Just do it.
[00:22:48] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Yeah. Couldn’t agree more. And what a wonderful lesson that is.


[00:22:52] Lesson 5: See It, then Be It.


[00:22:52] Robert Hossary: Lesson number five is I think probably my favorite. having seen all your lessons, it’s one of my favorite, ’cause I love all of them. But lesson number five, see it then be it.
[00:23:05] Robert Hossary: I mean, that is just the best way of putting. The term visualization into a sentence. Love it. Love it.
[00:23:14] Joe Templin: And part of it is about changing your identity in a lot of ways. So, developing the identity of, I am a runner, so a lot of people you know, are like, I wanna start running, I wanna do a 10 K this year, or whatever, but I’m not a runner.
[00:23:27] Joe Templin: And they have that identity of not a runner. So they need to change that identity. They need to see themselves. Crossing that finish line. They need to feel it. David Goggins talked about this with seal training of that couple of moments of just pure bliss, of wearing the dress, whites walking across the stage, and he visualized that through the entire Hell week process to help carry him through.
[00:23:50] Joe Templin: I did it with, trying to win a sales contest with my company. You know, when I first started, it was a year long thing. it was based on your production. I was competing against people in all the bigger markets. I’m like, I’m gonna be top 10. I’m gonna be on stage. This is what it feels like to be on stage.
[00:24:05] Joe Templin: I was feeling it every single day. I was going through my numbers, I was making changes. I was pushing myself. I was doing the hard things that I didn’t want to. I was making the sacrifices of myself to myself, and ultimately I ended up being top 10. And the people that I spoke with this morning are from that company.
[00:24:21] Joe Templin: And so I told them this very story and they’re like, wow. Okay. And so that translates into martial arts first major tournament that I won. I trained for it for six months, two, three hours a day every single day in addition to, running my business and everything else. But every morning and every night as I was coming outta sleep and going into sleep, your body’s producing theta waves.
[00:24:44] Joe Templin: That’s when you can program your mind the best. Literally, the software is the most hackable at that point. So going to bed, going to sleep, and waking up, I visualized winning that tournament with a specific technique, an instant hook kick to the guy’s head. When it came down to it, last fight, last point. I did exactly what I had envisioned over and over and over again.
[00:25:08] Joe Templin: So Dr. Julie Bell is a performance psychologist. Dr. Pete Greider talked about this, you know, seeing yourself doing the action over and over again. Your body cannot tell the difference. Your brain cannot tell the difference from the virtual reality going on in your head or the actual experience.
[00:25:26] Joe Templin: So they have found that athletes actually improve more with visualization than actual physical practice.
[00:25:34] Robert Hossary: That’s very interesting, and I suppose you can convert that into anything.
[00:25:41] Joe Templin: Yeah, like you wanna fit into that dress for your reunion, hang the dress up and see it every single day and see yourself wearing it.
[00:25:50] Joe Templin: Touch it so that you can feel, and get that haptic feedback. And what’s gonna happen is seeing it that much and visualizing it, it’s gonna influence all your decisions in terms of what you’re eating, how much you’re working out, everything else so that you can achieve that. This can happen with business goals.
[00:26:07] Joe Templin: This can happen with relationships. This can happen in almost any area of our life. So see it then be it.


[00:26:16] Affiliate Break


[00:26:16] Robert Hossary: What a wonderful way to put it. Love it. I absolutely love it.
[00:26:21] Robert Hossary: so we’ll take a quick break. we’d like to thank our affiliate partner Audible. Audible is an amazing way to consume 10 lessons learned books and other podcasts, allowing you to build a library of knowledge all in the one place
[00:26:34] Robert Hossary: you can start your free 30 day trial by going to audible trial.com/10lessonslearned with Audible, you’ll find your favorite lessons while you’re at home or on the go. and the link will be in the show notes.


[00:26:49] Lesson 6: Bad Day? Help Someone.


[00:26:49] Robert Hossary: Our guest today is Joe Templin, co-founder, author, speaker, martial Arts, expert, here with us sharing his 10 lessons. So, Joe, let’s go to lesson number six.
[00:27:04] Joe Templin: Can I say something real quick that you can Yeah, please move around. I love Audible. I use Audible to get extra learning in all the time while I’m running, while I’m training, while I’m driving my vehicle to places I use Audible to double dip on time and make me better.
[00:27:23] Robert Hossary: You know what? I probably wouldn’t have kept this in, but I’m going to. this is totally unscripted. I just want ev the audience to know totally unscripted. Joe didn’t, know’s. Gonna,
[00:27:34] Joe Templin: I want your sponsor to know that they should pay you extra.
[00:27:38] Robert Hossary: Well, they’re an affiliate partner, so you know, people, if you wanna support this show, go to Audible and get your free 30 day trial, but thank you Joe.
[00:27:48] Robert Hossary: and what a great endorsement.
[00:27:50] Robert Hossary: Alright, lesson number six, bad day help. Someone couldn’t agree more, but tell us your experience on this.
[00:27:58] Joe Templin: So this is something that was taught to me by my mom, the nun. Yes. My mom was a nun then she had six kids. My mom also taught us to shoot and to distill alcohol and to, hot wire cars.
[00:28:10] Joe Templin: So lots of lessons from my mom, but this is the best lesson of them all. So it seemed like there was constantly an extricate in my house. There were already six kids, so having an extra one, not a big deal. You know, one of my brother’s friends would be over ’cause they were, something was going out at their house, or my kid’s sister’s friend would be there, or what have you.
[00:28:31] Joe Templin: And, we didn’t grow up with a ton of financial resources and we lived out in the country. So we had the farm, we had land, we had love, we had, love of learning. There was always emotional support. And my mom taught me that if your life is not going well, remember there’s somebody else’s life is much worse.
[00:28:51] Joe Templin: Okay? You’re breathing, you’re relatively healthy, you’ve got a roof over your head. You’ve got food. Even if you might not like it, you know, you’re, you are better than 98% of the people who have ever lived on this earth. So if you’re having a bad day, the best thing to do is to take from an area of your abundance and help somebody else.
[00:29:13] Joe Templin: And it might not be financial. ’cause there have been times when literally I couldn’t scrape together two dimes, but I was able to help other people. I could volunteer my time to teach a class. I could go on in and tutor in the high school. I could mentor kids in college to be able to assist them. I could carry the groceries for somebody.
[00:29:33] Joe Templin: I couldn’t. You can just hold the door for somebody, okay, you’re having a bad day. You hold the door for somebody and they say thank you. Well, all of a sudden you feel a little bit better. I’m down in the southern United States right now and everybody is like, yes sir. No ma’am. All that. And just that little thing perks you up and makes you better.
[00:29:54] Joe Templin: And there are so many, biological components to this. One of the big ones is that when you help somebody, they will probably smile. When they smile, it activates the mirror neurons in your head. So you wanna smile. When you smile, your cortisol levels drop. That’s the stress hormone. So suddenly you’re less stressed out because you took the minute or five minutes or whatever to make somebody else’s life better.
[00:30:19] Joe Templin: You relieved the burden from them. And when we lighten somebody else’s burden, guess what? Our burden’s lightened too. So doing this on a regular basis, even micro good deeds, helping other peoples out is gonna improve you as we, one of the things that we teach our Cub Scouts is do a good turn every day.
[00:30:38] Joe Templin: It’s always been that way. Do a good turn daily, help somebody else out. And if you’re doing this and you’ve programmed your reticular activation system to look for ways to help others, you know, you almost do it without thinking. So when you’re having a really bad day and you’re like, oh, geez, you know, car and blew up, spill coffee all over me, you know, cat like, decide to poop on my bed.
[00:30:58] Joe Templin: Whatever it is, that’s probably a whole bunch of things that added up. Doing a good deed, helping somebody else out suddenly shifts the entire balance.
[00:31:09] Robert Hossary: Yeah. Doesn’t it just. it’s a very powerful to do that. And if you, if it program that as just part of your personality, part of what you do, then the rewards are just amazing.
[00:31:23] Robert Hossary: and it took me a long time to learn that, Joe, a long time. So I’m, I’m grateful that you’re sharing that with us now
[00:31:30] Joe Templin: And sometimes our life becomes so hectic we forget it.
[00:31:33] Robert Hossary: Yeah, we do.
[00:31:33] Joe Templin: So that, you know what I’m talking about here, these 10 lessons, I’d say almost all of ’em, everybody’s heard ’em before, but you know what it’s like, just like showering.
[00:31:42] Joe Templin: You still need to do it. You get the dust and grime of the world off you by showering. You don’t dust off your brain by hearing these things again. And maybe you can take some action on them.
[00:31:54] Robert Hossary: Correct. and you know, yes. Maybe they’ve heard these lessons before, but they have never heard your anecdotes before.
[00:32:02] Robert Hossary: They’ve never heard your perspective on these lessons before. And that’s what’s unique about our show. we, and
[00:32:08] Joe Templin: one of the things I was talking with, this agency this morning that I wanted to speak, and I’m telling them a lot of the same things that they hear all the time from their management, but we all tune out mom and dad eventually.
[00:32:20] Joe Templin: Okay. But when somebody else says the same thing, especially when it’s, you know, the fun uncle, the funcle, which I get to be, comes on in with some of his crazy stories, you’re like, oh wow, I didn’t believe that. And they’re, and they’re all excited about because they’re hearing something in a new way.
[00:32:36] Robert Hossary: yes. Absolutely. Correct.


[00:32:38] Lesson 7: Truth is Told Through Jokes


[00:32:38] Robert Hossary: Alright, well, speaking of the fun uncle, lesson number seven, truth is told through jokes. Well, I agree with that, but the jokes I heard when I was young, can’t be told anymore because they were just awful.
[00:32:53] Joe Templin: So one of the biggest things is we have to realize that we need to laugh at ourselves the most. Because the more you can laugh at yourself, the, it shows that you have a control and an understanding of yourself and things don’t get too crazy. So like I, you know the example of spilling coffee all over yourself?
[00:33:09] Joe Templin: So did that and like, so one arm was all brown and everything. So I’m like, oh, you know, which did you like better? The brown shirt or the white shirt? And people realize, okay, this person has resilience to be able to deal with unexpected things. And you need that. Going back to the first lesson, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.
[00:33:28] Joe Templin: So if you can show that you can adapt, that you can laugh at yourself because you know what? I make grave mistakes all the time to quote Thor. So I do stupid things. Hopefully it’s different stupid things and I make mistakes and I laugh at myself and people need to do that. But also sometimes you need to be pithy to get your point across.
[00:33:50] Joe Templin: So an example when I was in graduate school and my best friend was working on his PhD and he was working on it for years, writing his thesis, and he ended up putting a bunch of weight. And so this is when I was really heavily into martial arts and everything. And so I’m getting, coming back from my martial arts class and he makes a comment, about being in shape.
[00:34:12] Joe Templin: I look right him, I’m like, yeah, round’s a good shape. And he is like, you did not just, I look right at him and laughed. I’m like, yes, I did. And so it’s, you need to have the right relationship with somebody to say that. But he went and started changing his eating habits and getting out and exercising more, and two weeks later he was like, see, I’m not so around anymore.
[00:34:34] Joe Templin: And, you know, he went and made those changes, which he needed to do. So it takes a good friend to tell you the truth. And it takes a better friend to make a joke out of it so that you actually understand and make changes that you need to.
[00:34:48] Robert Hossary: It also takes a, a strong person to accept
[00:34:52] Joe Templin: oh yeah,
[00:34:52] Robert Hossary: those comments
[00:34:54] Joe Templin: Well that’s one of the major things is people don’t want criticism. ’cause criticism points out our flaws and makes us feel bad about ourselves. And so people don’t wanna feel bad. This is going back to do the hard things. You know, oh, I need to fix this. I need to get better. I did not lose because the world is conspiring against me.
[00:35:11] Joe Templin: Or because somebody hates me or there’s an nefarious plan. I did not do it because I failed. Okay? So what do I need to do so I don’t fail? Learn to hate losing so much that you do what it takes to win. Not cheating, but the extra hours in the studying and the practice, and the changing your mindset and learning new things and pushing yourself.
[00:35:34] Joe Templin: Okay? So you learn to win. By losing Failure is feedback is one of my sayings, which is not one of my 10 lessons. But you go and you discover what you need to do to improve, to get better. And a real friend, there’s an old Irish saying that, the best mirror in the world is a good friend. And all my military buddies, you know, the only humor that we have is dark.
[00:35:57] Robert Hossary: the one thing that I was going to ask you is Aussies are very self-deprecating. We really don’t take anything seriously, except the things that we take seriously
[00:36:10] Robert Hossary: that because you’re
[00:36:11] Joe Templin: all founded by Irish criminals that got shipped down there
[00:36:14] Robert Hossary: Pro. Probably. Probably. But. We can be self-deprecating.
[00:36:19] Robert Hossary: We can we can joke, we can do that. I have found, because I lived in the States for five years and I’ve found that Americans generally, and I’m generalizing here, do not
[00:36:31] Joe Templin: No. That not anymore. I mean, whatever happened to the days of Blazing Saddles where everything was on the table to be made fun of?
[00:36:39] Joe Templin: Yeah. Things have become too PC in that way. ’cause Oh, we don’t wanna offend people. No, you should offend people because there’s truth in it and they can learn from that and they either get better, but when you have a victim mentality, you’re not gonna get better. It just hurts me. So I need my safe space, so I’m okay.
[00:36:54] Joe Templin: And safe spaces are actually the worst thing that you can have. ’cause you’re choosing to not do the hard things. You’re choosing to purposely avoid ’em. So you get weaker and weaker mentally and physically and emotionally. And that’s the issue. So confront your fears, confront the things that you know you can’t do.
[00:37:09] Joe Templin: Well. Confront the things that you’re doing poorly, face ’em and get better. Suck it up.
[00:37:15] Robert Hossary: Now. I, I just want to just confirm we’re not saying that safe spaces, and PC are bad things when used correctly.
[00:37:26] Joe Templin: Yeah. It’s when it goes to an extreme, just like I’m not saying, Hey, you know what? Sleep on bed of nails and drink, you know, like, o only one glass of water a day and do 23 hour fast and all that.
[00:37:40] Joe Templin: No, that’s insane. Yeah. we, there’s a point in the middle and there’s actually a range within the middle. Yeah. But unfortunately, when we’re trying to protect everybody, I mean, they’ve gotten rid of merry-go-rounds and monkey bars because kids get hurt. You know why kids are supposed to get hurt.
[00:37:56] Joe Templin: That’s how, that’s a feedback mechanism. You’re gonna learn that way. They put warning labels on everything. And the more warning labels you put on things, people you know, need more warning labels. ’cause they don’t realize, oh, that’s gonna hurt. So when you get hurt on little bases, you learn not to do the big things that can kill you.
[00:38:14] Joe Templin: if you get confronted with little things, then you build up a resistance to be able to attack the big things. So it’s making things too soft, making things too safe, making things too protective. Makes it so that you can’t deal with it.
[00:38:31] Robert Hossary: Yeah. I just wanted to make that clarification so that our audience understands what you’re saying.
[00:38:37] Joe Templin: Yeah. So they don’t get the pitchforks and come after me.


[00:38:41] Lesson 8: Be a Kid.


[00:38:41] Robert Hossary: So let’s move to lesson number eight. Be a kid. . I think that’s a wonderful lesson.
[00:38:47] Robert Hossary: I think we should all be a little childish and let the child out in us. But that doesn’t happen, Joe.
[00:38:55] Joe Templin: No, because it gets crushed out and we have all these responsibilities and you have to be like within the lines at work. And you know something that PC stuff we talked about, ’cause if you get close to the line, then you’re gonna offend somebody.
[00:39:07] Joe Templin: And when you have a hundred thousand people in your organization, somebody’s gonna be offended by everything. So, you know, we, the organizations need to learn. Okay, look. Don’t get offended by that. Okay. It’s not that bad, you know, you need to suck it up a little bit. But being able to enjoy, to have jokes.
[00:39:27] Joe Templin: So like, one of the things that I used to do, and you might get a kick out of this when I was in sales, is everybody sends Christmas cards. And so there’s like 500 Christmas cards on people’s mantles, so yours gets lost. So I started sending other sorts of cards. I’d send a Thanksgiving card, I would send a Halloween card ’cause I love Halloween being Irish.
[00:39:45] Joe Templin: I’d send St. Patrick’s day’s, I’d send 4th of July cards for Independence Day. And when they opened the card, there was glitter. So there was like,
[00:39:55] Robert Hossary: my God, they must have hated you. They must have hated you.
[00:39:59] Joe Templin: Oh, absolutely. I would get calls like three months after I found glitter on my carpet Templin.
[00:40:08] Joe Templin: And so I did it for, two and a half years that there was always, my clients would call me and say, I’m opening your card over the garbage now. So I did that, but then I stopped sending glitter. I did not send glitter and two sets of cards and my clients were calling me, where’s my glitter? Okay, so it’s a stupid little thing sending a Halloween card instead of sending just the traditional cards
[00:40:36] Robert Hossary: Yeah.
[00:40:36] Joe Templin: At different times. And, you know, having like, jack ‘o lantern glitter in it or back glitter or stuff like that, it’s, they get a laugh out there. But one of the things is that you get people to laugh. They’re more receptive. Chris Voss, the former head of hostage negotiation for the F B I, his book, never split the difference in some of his talks.
[00:40:57] Joe Templin: If you get somebody to laugh, they are 35% more receptive for about the next five to 15 minutes. And the more you can get somebody to laugh, if you look using the triune brain model, the middle part of the brain, which is all emotion relationship and memory, you really light that up when you get humor going and they’re laughing and you know, it decreases, the cortisol increases the dopamine and serotonin.
[00:41:24] Joe Templin: So biochemically, they’re all like more prime to bond with you. It releases oxytocin too. And then I. What happens when that is done is they embed better memories of you. And if we look at the trust factor, one of the components of that long range is association. And so they have great memories of laughing with you and that’s going to tinge their view of you in everything.
[00:41:49] Joe Templin: And so they’re more likely to do business with you. They’re more likely to refer you. They reach out to you on certain things because they just enjoy being in your presence because you can neither be with somebody who’s a grumpy gus all the time, or somebody who even though they take their business very seriously, don’t take themselves seriously.
[00:42:10] Joe Templin: Yeah. So my clients used to say, I didn’t realize this was going to be one, a therapy session and two, a comedy show. And they came back over and over again and they referred me to other people. They’re like, Templin’s a goofball, but he really knows his stuff. You gotta talk to him.
[00:42:25] Robert Hossary: This is true. This is so true.
[00:42:27] Robert Hossary: And there is that fine line. So, you know, people, what Joe is talking about is demonstrably true. Joe’s experienced it and he shared that with us. I’ve experienced it. You talk to any professional who does this, they’ve experienced it. But there is a fine line. We are not saying Here be an idiot.
[00:42:48] Robert Hossary: We’re saying, let the child out in you again when it’s appropriate. Yep. So, I love it.


[00:42:59] Lesson 9: Speak Love, and in Their Language.


[00:42:59] Robert Hossary: Alright, let’s talk about lesson number nine. Speak, love and in their language. What do you mean by that?
[00:43:08] Joe Templin: So this is really about the platinum rule. The golden rule is treat others how you’d wanna be treated. The platinum rule is treat others the way they want to be treated.
[00:43:18] Joe Templin: And I was actually having a conversation with, this agency this morning. We got into a conversation around love languages. And so like my love language primarily is physical touch and, but my second it theory is quality time. And so, my significant other, her number one is gifts. And her second though is words of appreciation.
[00:43:44] Joe Templin: And so I need to show that I care for her, not in my manner, but in the way that she appreciates the most. So she’ll show up at her office and there is like a little note every couple of days where I just take an index card, one of these, I fold it up and I turn it into a card. She’s an artist and I can barely draw like a five-year-old.
[00:44:08] Joe Templin: So she appreciates it. She finds it funny, she gets a laugh and she gets that little thing of Joe is thinking about me. Yeah. And this translates into a lot of other areas. So I had a lot of engineers as clients. I went to an engineering school, I went to Rensselaer Polytechnic. Our mascot is the engineers.
[00:44:27] Joe Templin: So we were all nerds there. And so I had a ton of clients in that space. And one of the things I did with all my clients before going into presentation mode with them would be, how do you process information? And they’d be like, what do you mean? I’m like, well, my engineered clients, you know, people like me, they love spreadsheets, they wanna see every gory detail, they wanna see the formulas, they wanna see how I derived every single thing.
[00:44:55] Joe Templin: If I did that with a normal human being, your eyes would roll into the back of your head. And anybody who is an engineer laughs. ’cause they’re like, yeah, that’s us. And everyone who’s not an engineer but knows an engineer laughs because they’re like, yeah, that’s what would happen. So I had a lot of, executive clients, so I would use an executive summary or, my military clients, I’d use bluff format, bottom line, upfront format with my clients who are artists.
[00:45:25] Joe Templin: I’d use a lot of colors. Green is good, red is bad. And so I was conveying the information in a way that they were most receptive to. Because if you’re not conveying the information in a way that they can receive, it’s like you’re speaking Greek to somebody who only speaks French. So people who like, use lots of numbers and all that to an artist, they’re just going to not comprehend because you’re literally speaking a different language.
[00:45:52] Joe Templin: So speak the love language of those individuals in the way that they’re receptive to and do it often. Okay. One of the things is my parents taught me la when I get off the phone with my dad, my mom’s been gone multiple years, or my relatives or anybody I really care about. I tell ’em I love them. I don’t care if they think it’s weird or anything because I, I did not do that with my godfather, when he, 25 plus years ago.
[00:46:22] Joe Templin: And then, you know, I just, you know, see and left the farm to go do something one day and a week later he died. I never got a chance to tell him I love him, so I’m not gonna have that ever happen again.
[00:46:34] Robert Hossary: I hear you. And that’s a very important lesson on its own. But it takes a while, to learn someone’s language
[00:46:44] Joe Templin: or it can be stupid blatant like me and just, you know, say, you know, how do you learn?
[00:46:49] Joe Templin: Or, you know, say, you know what? I don’t know. What’s your love language? So I can, you know, so I appreciate you in the right way. And most people will say, what do you mean? And then you talk about it with them. And a lot of people don’t realize that they have a particular way. Now I’ve gotten pretty good about figuring out people over time.
[00:47:09] Joe Templin: And so when I was talking with this one person, I’m like, so, you know, you do this and you have this, and you’ve got this in your background, and so it looks like this is what’s going on. And she, he was like, oh, wow. You’re absolutely right. I never thought about that. So when you’re explaining this and having a discussion, not being judgmental, but saying, this is why I see this is what I think and feel about this is my understanding, it allows them to then grow and understand themselves.
[00:47:39] Joe Templin: And so they can then operate from a higher level because they now have this knowledge, not just of themselves, but how they interact with others. Because then there, this person came back to me is like, you know, so I realized that my one client, this is their particular language. And so I show that I care for them in this way.
[00:47:58] Joe Templin: It’s helped my business relationship.
[00:48:01] Robert Hossary: Yeah, a absolutely and people, this is a very important point. the platinum rule is something that I’ve followed my entire career since I realized the mistake that I was making. but what Joe said is spot on. Again. Rewind, re-listen, learn.


[00:48:24] Lesson 10: Have Fun, Don’t Die!


[00:48:24] Robert Hossary: Alright, Joe, let’s move to lesson number 10.
[00:48:29] Robert Hossary: Now, it seems like it’s something that, you know, my dad would say, but okay. Lesson number 10. Have fun. Don’t die.
[00:48:41] Joe Templin: Another thing from my mom, the nun. So, growing up out in the country, you know, summer vacation, We didn’t have all these scheduled things. We had swim lessons, in the morning, a couple days a week.
[00:48:53] Joe Templin: But other than that, we were on our own. We were feral almost. It’s not like she threw like Cheerios on the floor and did full free range parenting, but it was close to that in a lot of ways. She’d kick us out in the morning. She’s like, yo, there’s the bathroom. You know where it is? The garden hose is outside.
[00:49:08] Joe Templin: ’cause you know, that’s what we drank from. And she’s like, I don’t wanna see you till lunch. Have fun. Don’t die. Okay. Yeah. And so those are great directions. And so she used to tell my kids this. My ex-wife actually hates this because they’re like, overprotected, it needs to be scheduled and you need to have all this.
[00:49:28] Joe Templin: Yeah. And you know, you can’t go outside the rules and you know, it’s all about how you others perceive you. And you know, it’s very much fitting into proper society where my family, it’s like, no, you know, you push the rules, you figure stuff out. Growing up on a farm, you had to figure out how things worked and how to make things, be effective with constraints.
[00:49:51] Joe Templin: And there was always more stuff to be done. And so you need, we didn’t have the computer games. We did not have all the expensive stuff. We did not have all the scheduled activities with others. It was like, okay, go outside. What do we have to play with today? All right, let’s figure it out. So you learn to make your own fun.
[00:50:08] Joe Templin: And the full saying that we tell each other is, I love you. Have fun. Don’t die. Yeah. And so like the first time my four year old said that to me at school, when I dropped him off at pre-K, the looks I got from the parents and from like the staff, they’re like, what? It’s like, yeah, love you, have fun. Don’t die.
[00:50:29] Joe Templin: And so have fun. Engage, grow, learn, interact, do all that stuff. And if you’re not dead, guess what? It’s a learning lesson. If it’s not fatal, it’s not final. So okay, you screwed up that business deal. Is it the end of the world? Going back to Ken Jeong, but did you die? Okay, get back on up, figure out another way it So love you.
[00:50:54] Joe Templin: Absolutely love, have fun, don’t die.
[00:50:55] Robert Hossary: Absolutely love that. That’s brilliant. Alright, well let there your 10 lessons, Joe. And they were fantastic. Let me ask you now.
[00:51:05] Robert Hossary: With all of your experience, what have you, unlearned?
[00:51:09] Joe Templin: What have I unlearned something. So being the former gifted kid. Right, right.
[00:51:15] Joe Templin: So like being the gifted kid, I started college at 13 ’cause my parents said 12 was too young to start college. Just so that your listeners know that. Okay. when I was 10, you know, I, tested with like an IQ that was completely and totally off the charts. My mom didn’t tell me what the IQ was until much later when I was eight.
[00:51:33] Joe Templin: I said I wanted to learn everything there was to know my mom’s like, there’s the encyclopedia. Get reading. So I did. I read it all. But so when you’re growing up in that sort of environment, that really high standard of academics and in a lot of ways they expect perfection. And so I had to learn over time, you’re never gonna have perfection.
[00:51:56] Joe Templin: And the martial arts was great for this ’cause you’re chasing perfection, but you learn that you’re never going to have it, but you can still get better. And so I had to unlearn about perfection. I had to realize sometimes good enough is good enough. I had to learn about, you know, M V P, minimum viable product, ship it out and you can improve it, and you can improve it, and you can improve it.
[00:52:19] Joe Templin: And sometimes you reach the point of diminishing returns and sometimes you just have to say, you know what, no, I’m not gonna do that. I don’t want to be good at that thing. I don’t have to do this. You know what? I screwed up something in my career, so be it. And so, being able to accept not having a perfect score on everything.
[00:52:39] Joe Templin: ’cause guess what? In life you’re not gonna get a perfect score to understand the messiness and the diversions and the non-linear components that necessary for success. Especially if you’re taking a non-traditional career path by building a business or being a writer, or being a podcast host like you.
[00:52:57] Joe Templin: Okay? It’s not a linear thing. It’s not a then B, then C. It is multi-variable. There’s all these different things. And you know what? It’s not gonna be perfect. It’s not gonna be pretty all the time, but you know what? It’s functional and it’s good enough.
[00:53:09] Robert Hossary: That is a wonderful lesson to unlearn and it’s something that’s taken a lot of people a long time to learn.
[00:53:17] Robert Hossary: Some of them still don’t learn it. they need to be perfect. Perfection is the enemy of advancement, of innovation. you don’t need to be perfect. Good enough is good enough, as Joe says that. That’s fantastic. So, Joe, tell us where can we find you? What are you doing? what do you wanna leave our listeners with?
[00:53:36] Joe Templin: Well, hopefully you can find me in the pub.
[00:53:42] Joe Templin: So they can, people can find me on lots of different channels. My YouTube and my Twitter are both at @ EDEwithJoe, that’s @ EDE for Everyday Excellence with Joe. That’s me obviously. So they can track me there. There’s lots of free stuff every single day. I post to both those there. There’s a lot of really cool things there.
[00:54:06] Joe Templin: if they go to my website, everyday excellence.com, that’s everyday excellence.com. I’ve got more free sources there. I put the podcast up so they’ll find this and a whole bunch of other ones. they can also find my training and my books and all that there. But what I really want ’em to do is when they go there, sign up for my free app.
[00:54:25] Joe Templin: Really free. No cost at all, other than a little bigger time to do it. Three day, three Brain. Training. So every day for three days, you’re gonna get an email. We explore how the trying brain works so you can understand why you do stupid things or why you wanna go to the pub instead of do your homework or do your work, various things like that.
[00:54:44] Joe Templin: So it allows you to have a better understanding of yourself and other people so that you can make better decisions and reach your goals.
[00:54:53] Robert Hossary: Fantastic. And all those links will be in the show notes so people can just have a look at the transcript and the show notes and just click the link. Well that’s fantastic.
[00:55:03] Robert Hossary: Thank you. And we’ll finish here. Today, you’ve been listening to 10 Lessons Learned. Our guest today has been Joe Template sharing his 10 lessons Learned. This episode is supported as always by the Professional Development Forum. please tell us what you think of today’s lessons. You can. Email us at podcast@tenlessonslearned.com.
[00:55:23] Robert Hossary: And while you’re at it, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and turn on your notification bell so you don’t miss the only show on the internet that makes the world wiser. Lesson buy lesson. Thank you for listening, and we love you. Have fun.
[00:55:40] Robert Hossary: Don’t die.

 

 This episode is produced by Robert Hossary. Sponsored as always by Professional Development Forum. You can find the www.professionaldevelopmentforum.org you’ve heard from us we’d like to hear from you. Email us it’s podcast@10lessonslearned.com. Remember, this is the podcast the only podcast. That’s makes the world wiser lesson by lesson.

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