Codie Comeau – Facts Do Not Care About Your Feelings

Jeffery Wang: Hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned, the podcast where we talk to leaders, experts, ordinary people doing extraordinary things from around the world to uncover the lessons that shape their careers, businesses, and lives. Our goal is simple to make the world a little wiser. One lesson at a time. I’m Jeffrey Wang.
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Meet Our Guest

Jeffery Wang: Now, let’s. Let’s meet our very special guest for the day. Codie Comeau has joined the 10 Lessons Learned team as our episode producer. Now, Codie, you have a bachelor’s in communications, Media and Design, and you also have a minor in Psychology. You’ve also gained your MBA since then.
Codie Comeau: Yes. Yep. Yep. Went right through.
Jeffery Wang: Awesome. Now, you’ve worked through industries such as engineering, entertainment, education, sales, and during your time at university, you were the president of the Graduate Business Association and also ran the tennis program at Clarksville [00:02:00] University. Now, what I’ve noticed about you, Codie is that even though you’re young, you’re wise beyond your years, I love how you’re always open minded, you’re always humble, and you’re always open to learning.
So, I, yeah, I take special pleasure in welcoming you to the program, Codie.
Codie Comeau: Appreciate it, Jeff. it’s fun to be on this side of the camera for once, but I really appreciate it. Super excited to be here.
Jeffery Wang: And for the folks that’s listening in, Codie has been behind the scenes, uh, on the show for the last, well, I’d say a couple of years, so he’s been involved in, the direction of the show. He’s been, a keen contributor to the show and what I’ve noticed is, through our conversations, Codie, that, there’s a lot more that you have to offer. And especially, you know, when we, when we spoke, I realized that your life experiences actually have a lot more than what meets the eye.
Codie Comeau: Yeah. 100%. You know, and I, I think that’s true for most people is, is you kind of see them as they present themselves and we’ll dive into that a little bit more, you know, with some of the lessons, but At the end of the day, everyone [00:03:00] has their story. Everyone has their sort of history behind them that created them in the way that they are and how they present themselves now.
So definitely had quite a bit of experience growing up for sure. So excited to share.
Jeffery Wang: Yeah, and I’m sure we’ll unpack that through the lessons. So, let’s just dive straight into it then. The 10 lessons you gave me. Lesson number one. Know the game, play to win. What do you mean by that?

Lesson 1: Know the Game, Play to Win

Codie Comeau: Yeah, absolutely. I think it comes as no surprise that we oftentimes will say the game of life, right? It comes across as this whole thing of, every, ever since you’re a kid all the way up until, you retire and stuff, you’re basically playing this game. And there’s so many different components here that go into it.
You know, I almost think of it as when you’re a kid, it’s sort of a free trial in a way. This is where you’re figuring things out. You start to kind of come into your own. But once you really graduate college, or even high school for those who maybe didn’t go, this is a great time because it’s your first time that you have [00:04:00] complete You know, freedom in your choice, you have so many different avenues you can go. So where do you start? What do you do? And this is where the game really begins, right? And so, when I say knowing the game, it is not just the game of life, but you know, how to be successful. That’s constantly the question. People always say, how do you measure success? Is it, Having a family that loves you. Is it being able to travel the world? Is it having a ton of money? Is it having a great career? Having a lot of acknowledgment? You know, there’s a thousand different ways to classify it. So, when I say know the game, you need to understand that there’s no one right way to play, right?
You can have many different avenues. You can pick so many different paths. You know, I’m a big proponent to say that in your 20s, you don’t have to have it figured out, but you should at least have an idea. and from there, you know, Being able to play the game, right? You have to know how to win because I’m, big spoiler, it’s rigged. No matter which way you go, you’re going to face challenges, right? And it’s not falling into that rat race. If, you end up in the [00:05:00] situation where, you are constantly in the same place, you’re not making headway, don’t, don’t get discouraged, right? That’s part of it and figuring that out but recognize that. No matter where you are, most people start at a disadvantage, and so that’s what I mean when I say that the game is rigged because there’s so many different avenues here, right?
Jeffery Wang: so, if I could sort of take that metaphor a bit, you know, just imagine a board game, a game of life is almost like a board game without a set of instructions. You don’t know what the objectives are, or it’s up to you to define what the objectives are. there is a set of rules, I guess, but, uh, you, you kind of have to figure out as you go.
and it’s almost a bit, So, yeah, I guess that’s a really good metaphor. But when you say, you know, you’re negotiating with your, uh, with the players and, and, you know, as opposed to sort of, uh, finite games where you, there’s an objective where you’re trying to meet, you know, life is an infinite game.
You’re, you know, it’s as many turns as possible. You’re trying to stay in the game. Um, so, yeah, I, I guess that that’s a really good metaphor. But when you [00:06:00] say, you Play to win. How can, how can you play to win when there’s not a defined objective? How do you, how do you find out what, what, what winning is in life?
Codie Comeau: Yeah, that’s a terrific question. And that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? is really figuring that out as you go, because you’re going to see, with the exception of a select few individuals who might be into a situation where you’re born into money or, you know, a family business or nepotism,
it’s really, And that’s where, the benefit of a show like this is that it’s not about what you want to hear it’s what you need to hear. Right? And if I’m to explain this from a personal perspective, I always looked at being successful as in having financial freedom, and I know I’m trying not to spoil too many lessons as we go through yet, but basically the concept of being able to work because you want to not because you have to. Right?
And. Obviously you want to be happy, but how do you do that? How do you get to that point? Because newsflash, [00:07:00] it’s not going to be waking up and going to work and doing a nine to five every day and saving your money, right? It’s how are you going to get hired? Well, there’s a hiring. hierarchy to it, right? It’s not going to be as simple as applying and then just finding a job because you’re, you’re told this promise when you’re a kid, you’re going to grow up. You’re going to get a good education. You’re going to go to college. You’re going to get a good job, and everything will be peachy, but that’s oftentimes not how it goes. That might have been the case 70, 80 years ago, but now the game is constantly changing. Technology’s changing. Opportunities are changing. Things are moving so fast. So how are you going to get ahead? Because it’s the chances of getting a knockout invention or some sort of technological advancement slim to none.
So, what do you do? How do you get there? Because again, you’re not going to have the know-how. You’re starting from scratch. So how do you get from point A to point B? And so, when there’s No set defined rules. That’s where the experience comes in, is figuring it out as you go. And that’s [00:08:00] where, these lessons come from, was my game of life, which I’m still very much playing, but, and still learning as I go.
But of course, there’s so many things that you learn along the way that nobody teaches you when you’re a kid, you know, and, and it goes back to that phrase, you don’t know what you don’t know. Right, and so every experience, every moment is going to bring you right to a new lesson that you can now take and advance and step by step you’re going to be able to win that game.
Jeffery Wang: and I think there’s a lot more to it to unpack in that one, but thanks for that lesson. I’ll move on to lesson number two. Don’t believe everything you see.

Lesson 2: Don’t Believe Everything You See

Codie Comeau: Yeah, this one
is particularly special in my heart because, and I know we’ve had great conversations about this before, but man, social media, fake news, the way the world is today, you know, even standardized media, there is so much being pushed out that, Just completely blinds you, and how do you know what’s true? I remember growing up in eighth grade, and one of the classes we had to take was in, it was a library course, [00:09:00] and it was all about recognizing credible sources. So how do you recognize an article, or an author, or a web page? Something that is tangible, something that’s actually representing real data. And, to summarize, there’s a whole, list of things you can do by checking the credibility of the author, checking the statistics, but, when you look at things like BuzzFeed or anybody who just posts anything, any influencer, right? Most of what they’re talking about is utter BS, to be entirely honest with you. And there’s a great, I apologize, I don’t remember who said it, but there was an individual who had said a quote along the lines of, social media presents the problem that it gives the average everyday person the same credibility to speak as a Nobel Prize winner, right?
And so, you have these people who their opinions, and that’s what they are, opinions, not.
necessarily facts, and they pass it along as if they’re 100 percent right and people will latch onto these ideas. And so, especially in today’s world, not only is there, [00:10:00] misinformation, disinformation, but there’s. Weaponized media too,
and this has been going on for thousands of years, but just as, you know, a prime example for our American audience, right? take the Boston Massacre, right?
Sort of this kickstart to the American Revolution, where it was the six individuals who were, British soldiers. We all know that story. We’re growing up learning about it in U. S. history, and it’s painted as this big, bad, horrific incident. But the reality is that these British soldiers were getting harassed and attacked consistently. And, uh, at some point someone said the word fire, it’s unknown who, but essentially, they shot, they fired, and six individuals were killed. Now,
obviously that’s tragic, that’s horrible, but it was painted into this yellow page journalism through your founding fathers like Paul Revere, through Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, these folks, in order to incite more violence, to incite this uprising in the rest of the colonies to help unify them, and [00:11:00] paint the British as these big, bad, And it was blown way out of proportion, which You know, we see obviously today where we are and where it led, but that’s just an example of how it’s used, and it’s used today in politics all the time.
All the time.
Jeffery Wang: Look, I mean, judging by your educational background, you’re trained in journalism, you understand how these things work,
But I’ll take the other side of this argument and sort of, you know, if that’s the way it’s always been, you know, what’s changed?
I mean, the reality is that the victor gets to write the history, and you get to paint the narrative. And in fact, most of these movements and ideas and all that, you know, it’s clearly there’s two sides to every story. And I’m sure if you’re coming from the British side, you know, at the time, they could feel like they were the victims, because of this, harassment and, and, and all that as well.
So, so how do you make sense of the world knowing that everything you [00:12:00] read is, Not just bunk, but also, there are complex perspectives to everything that you read. how do you be, you know, sort of remain sceptical, but at the same time trying to make sense of the world so that you can, you know, act or orient yourself in some sort of way to some level of truth.
Codie Comeau: Yeah, I think that’s a fantastic question. And it is, it does pose a difficult problem, right? Where, everywhere you look, how do you know if something’s real? And you don’t expect them to do, you know, College level citation to understand if it’s accurate or not, but at the end of the day, right, there’s going to be so many different inputs coming your way, right?
It’s going to come from your friend. It’s going to come from your family. It’s going to come from your media in the world where everything is so, you know, all over the place, right? You have to Take it with a grain of salt, first and foremost. Take
everything you read, know multiple sources, right? There’s a big debate in the U. S. constantly about news networks, right? We have CNN, we have Fox, we have MSNBC, so many different networks here. Who’s telling the [00:13:00] truth? generally, they lean one way or the other. And,
and how do you trust it? Well, I always like to take an old school New York Times approach, and I’m not necessarily saying that they get it right, but the old school was the who, what, when, and why, right?
It’s simply the facts. There’s no, way of expressing emotion to it. It simply just says this is the person. This is what happened. This is when it happened, here’s how it happened, but once you get to that why Now it’s
Jeffery Wang: So, so you filter out the narrative is that what you do or,
Codie Comeau: I would
say yeah.
I think if as soon as you say so, let’s just say, you know gun violence is something that happens all the time in the United States, right?
So, let’s just say that there is a Shooting of some sort, horrific as it is, but the media is going to paint that differently, right? And it’s going to get painted as, if we’re watching something like CNN, it’s going to say, you know, so and so with their assault weapon, went down and mowed down And it’s going to have this piece here, right? But then when you go and you look at the other side, it’s going to say something along the lines of, [00:14:00] tragically, so many people, died through this horrific event. and now it took off the focus of there was an assault weapon. You’ll see it every time, because every time there’s a shooting, it goes right back to gun control.
How are we going to do this? How are we going to do that? And then it becomes a whole debate, right? So, you can say the same thing and address that there was a shooting, this is what happened.
Jeffery Wang: When you frame it, it’s that framing aspect,
Codie Comeau: that’s where you’re going to get it. So, you have to eliminate The narrative around it to get to the heart of the story.
First and foremost, what was the issue? Did they have mental issues? Was this somebody who, shouldn’t have been there? It, and there’s so many different elements to it,
Jeffery Wang: And they also lie by omission as well, you know, crucial facts that would completely change a narrative. Look, I’d like to say that I agree with you in that approach. I mean, that probably used to work, I would say, 10 years ago, maybe 15 years.
Codie Comeau: Yeah.
Jeffery Wang: But the reality is now, you know, they’re just naturally presenting inaccurate facts, unresearched facts, unverified facts. You know, [00:15:00] my Favorite is, A single, uncorroborated, unidentified source says or an insider close to the,
Codie Comeau: Yeah. Whistleblower this, that, yeah.
Jeffery Wang: whistleblower this and that, you know, the reality is that that integrity is no longer there because the need for clicks and eyeballs and influence and clout far exceeds any form of credibility.
Codie Comeau: Yeah, oh, and you make a fantastic point there. And, you know, that’s part of doing your own research, obviously, right? But and when I say take things with a grain of salt, because you’re 100 percent right.

Lesson 3: Recognize the Motive

Codie Comeau: So, but we’ve got to move on. lesson number three, recognize the motive. What do you mean by that? oh yeah, Taylor’s all the time. No one does anything for free, right? There’s a motive behind everything and everyone. Why are they doing what they’re doing? Now, this can go, sometimes there’s good motives, sometimes there’s bad motives. It can go either way, but there’s always a motive, right? And It’s a big thing to understand what that motive [00:16:00] is, because if you’re talking to somebody and their motive is it’s simply money. Your whole pitch of, you know, pulling on their heartstrings and emotions is probably not going to work, right? Give them the bottom dollar. Know your audience, right? Know what drives them. Because this is going to help you get so much farther in life if you understand the person you’re talking to. I mean, if we’re, we already started down this whole politics. If you’re talking to somebody who simply just wants to irritate you or just argue for the sake of arguing, It’s not worth getting all upset and wasting your breath trying to convince this person that you’re right, they’re wrong, or anything there, because they don’t care. That’s not their motive. That’s not their point.
They’re not there to have an open mind, right? And this exists in everything, but Particularly in the corporate world, right? What drives them? Are they a family guy or woman? You know, are they, do they care about just providing for their family? Do they care about having a ton of money? Do they care about seeing the world?
What is their motive? I mean, you hear it all the time. [00:17:00] I’m going to go and I’m going to get a great job. I’m going to work. I’m going to save and I’m going to travel the world. Well, that’s a good motive, but you know, when you start to think about it, you can plug holes here and there’s so many different Drivers, so to speak, of individuals.
So, recognize that is the big thing. Know that somebody doing something for you, rarely, not always, but rarely is for, the general good, for your sake. They have some sort of hidden motive that they do, whether it’s, you know, extrinsic or intrinsic, there’s some reason why they’re doing what they’re doing.
So, if you can figure that out, you’re going to be light years ahead.
Jeffery Wang: Yep, 100%. Look, you know, I’m not saying that there’s no people who have altruistic motives, but generally speaking, you know, people do it for one reason or another and recognizing the underlying motivation allows you to, I suppose, grapple with it as well as you could. You know, some people engage in philanthropy, but you know, they may be motivated out of narcissism.
now whether [00:18:00] or not, the So, um, I think that the motive is noble or not is beside the point. Um, I think, you know, so long as you can, get the intended outcome, knowing the motive actually helps. Right?
So, yeah, so I get that. So, recognizing a motive doesn’t necessarily mean that you, you know, it doesn’t mean a cynical view of the world. It just means that you got to.
Deal with the world as it is, not as you want it to be.
Codie Comeau: Exactly. Exactly. it’s simple as when you’re walking down the street in the, and you see, you know, a homeless individual or an unhoused individual, and you put a little money in their thing, do you do it to really help them? Or do you do it to feel good about yourself?
Or do you feel guilty not doing it? You know, really stop to ask these little questions because I think you’re going to learn a lot about the individual and that it’s not as black and white as simply saying, ah, I did this for, you know, A good reason, whatever it is.
Jeffery Wang: 100 percent yeah, it’s the same reason why I put a solar panel on my roof. It’s not to save the world or the environment. I do it because it saves me money. but you know, what difference does it make if it’s actually doing good, [00:19:00] right? So, there you go.

Lesson 4: Know when to be Burr or Hamilton

Jeffery Wang: All right, lesson number four. I really like this one and it kind of just shows glimpses of the amount of how well read you are.
know when to be Burr or Hamilton. Now, my knowledge of this probably don’t go explained. beyond the musical. so, so you have to explain this to me.
Codie Comeau: Yeah, absolutely. So, when we’re talking American politics, you have your famous rivals that exist time and time again. It’s the same with anything, right? But in this particular circumstance, when we’re looking back to the founding of the United States, there are, you know, many big name players. But one of the most recognized feuds was between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton. Now, I’m not diving into their policies or, what they believed in, but it’s how they handled them, right? When you look at Alexander Hamilton, he was a very young, very bright individual, but he was very outspoken.
Every chance he had, he would go, and he would be, talking [00:20:00] And he would express his views, and he would debate. He was very much at the center point of attention, right? This sensationalist on his views and one could call that passion, but he was very outspoken when we look at, just say, the, the Federalist Papers and, I apologize again.
It’s been a very long time, but he, he wrote, almost three times as many as anyone else, whether John Jay or John Adams. Uh, he wrote, I think, something like, You know, whatever it was. Like, it was an absurd amount, right? But then you have Aaron Burr. Now, Aaron Burr was a bit of a chameleon. He was very well spoken. He was, you know, respected, and the part of it was that he knew when to open his mouth. He was not nearly in the same spotlight as Hamilton. He was not nearly as outspoken. If it came down to it, he would share his opinion, but he knew his audience. He knew when to talk, and he knew when not to. You would not catch him out there posting, you know, paper after paper about this, and we need to do this. He was not giving long winded speeches, but he was diplomatic. He was working his way through the crowd, and [00:21:00] it allowed him to be successful. And so, this Lesson is to know when to be outspoken and when to be committed, when to be quiet, right? Know your audience. As I alluded to before, if you’re going to sit there and argue with somebody with no rhyme or reason of any point coming out of it, then you’re just wasting your time and theirs there’s, no good that’s going to come out of it, especially in today’s world of social media and everything. Man, you post one thing out there and you’re going to get so much hate regardless. So, it’s, it’s recognizing, when to be a Hamilton and when to be a Burr, when to be
quiet,
And when to be outspoken, right?
Jeffery Wang: That’s awesome. Now, I’ve just looked it up, it looks like Alexander Hamilton actually founded the New York Post, which is, you know, one of those media organizations. I can really see a journalism connection here, that, you have a lot of history of. what’s, It’s interesting to me about that particular point, and I’ll play the devil’s advocate here, is that Hamilton’s outspoken, he confronted, you know, so he pretty much brought the issue to a head.
He, [00:22:00] um, you know, he basically ran towards the fire, and he made the issue. Now, would the revolution, uh, would the, you know, the war of independence be successful? Had Hamilton not existed, you know, I, I’d argue that Hamilton was very much a catalyst of that and, and, and, you know, very much, uh, pivotal in his approach, if you wanted to, to succeed in that particular instance.
Now, Burr is someone who probably bites his tongue until the right time, until the right, you know, and so I think their roles, uh, you know, I think what your point is not saying one is better than the other, but knowing when to play each of these roles. now what’s interesting also is that this actually reminds me of a, famous Japanese, Shogun, Tokugawa Ieyasu, who is known for being like Burr, biding his time.
And in fact, you know, he pretty much [00:23:00] lost every single important battle except for the one that matters, where he beat this Hideyoshi, who was at the time, the strongest emperor and, you know, knowing when to bide his time, knowing when to fight his battles, knowing when to sort of keep you know, sort of keep his real strength hidden until, you The time where it matters.
So, but interestingly, you know, these are very clash of cultures, right? I’d say if I was to take an average American, they would probably be more like Hamilton, and an average Japanese would be more like Burr. So potentially there’s a cultural angle to this as well. Yeah.
Codie Comeau: a big cultural piece there. And you’re 100 percent right to just kind of going back to what you mentioned. I’m not saying one’s better than the other, but you have to know when the right time for either is, right? And there is a cultural component to it. there is the stereotype that, Americans, we are very loud, very outspoken. in my experience, France is very much the same way. If they don’t [00:24:00] like you, they will tell you. You know, there’s a big thing there where if they say, hey, I like you, let’s hang out sometime. Over here, that can mean anything. It could just be a very polite brush off, but over there, they mean it, right?
You could probably expect getting a text from them that night, if not the next day saying, hey, let’s get together. So, I think that You know, not just in the sense of knowing when to be outspoken, but there’s also a sense of truth to it, right? Now, Hamilton, you’re right. We needed him. You do need a catalyst.
This is where, you know, change does come from is when you have these outspoken people who oftentimes are generally not liked right away, right? It takes time to, to catch your wind, catch your fire, but eventually. if you’re someone that’s personable enough and people like you and you’re charismatic, you’ll get the following and change will follow. You also have to know that if you’re just trying to, gain a following for whatever, and it’s not necessarily something that people agree with, then maybe you should, you know, Take more of the Burr approach and just kind of keep your mouth [00:25:00] shut
Jeffery Wang: Well, it’s all situational, right? So that’s a, if the house is on fire. Probably the Hamilton approach would be best and really, it’s your assessment of what’s really going on, isn’t it?
Codie Comeau: tied to the motives in this here, but when you go to dinner with your grandma, you’re not going to be having the same conversations you will with your friends at the bar at 2 a. m. There’s a time and there’s a place to know how to behave when not to. When you’re at school, when you’re at work, when you’re with your friends. There are things you can talk about, there are things you shouldn’t talk about. The biggest thing we’re taught growing up, there are three things you don’t talk about in public.
That’s money, religion, and politics, right? Because those are always so divisive. There are certain circumstances where those are important to talk about, And so it’s really just recognizing right place, right time, right audience, right? And being able to do that, just as, you know, another side note, I’ve worked with many different people in my life and, growing up where I did, everybody leans one way for the most [00:26:00] part, and not that I lean the other way, but I didn’t necessarily agree with everything that they, um, Believed in on that side.
And if you were to bring that up, oh, you’d get you would be attacked immediately. So, you kind of learned to do it. But later on, after I had known them for a while, if it gets brought up, I would voice my opinion and they Completely accepted it because they recognized me as I, as I was as a person, right?
They knew I was on their side and that I cared about them, and that anything I believed in wasn’t an attack. It wasn’t against them; it wasn’t anything negative. They got to recognize me as an individual first. So, I, was very much a burr for most of the beginning of the friendship and. Anybody does this, right? You want to be accepted, so you conform to being accepted, and then when you have that comfort level, when you get recognized, you can then bring out more of the Hamilton side. You can then express yourself a little bit more, and hopefully still be accepted. Maybe not in every case, but everybody does it, right?
And that’s how it usually goes, and occasionally we all know some people who [00:27:00] are just straight Hamiltons. They will tell you to your face everything out the gate, and we love them for a different reason, right? So, there’s a time and place. Yeah,
Jeffery Wang: And I’d sort of lament that. I think, unfortunately, one side of politics has all the Hamilton’s and that’s how we got this political culture that we have today where the other side feels like you have to bite your tongue. I would argue that we can probably do with a lot more humility on both sides.
Because what, what you’re finding is that people, have these, what’s called a preference falsification, whereby you, you almost hide your beliefs, for the fear that you think everybody else, uh, believes in the opposite.
So, but we’ve got to move on, I know we’ve got plenty of rabbit holes this episode, but

Lesson 5: Hard Work Is Not Enough

Jeffery Wang: Lesson number five, hard work is not enough.
What do you mean by that?
Codie Comeau: yeah. So, similar to what I was saying with playing the game, right, is we’re told growing up, you’re going to get an education, you have to work hard, work very hard, and you’re going to be successful, and you’re going to get a [00:28:00] ton of money, and you’re going to be here and there. reality is, that’s not the way it works anymore, right? Especially when we look, at the economy, when we look at inflation, when we look at the value of the dollar, the amount of input that we put in rarely is equal to the output. Right. And so, at the end of the day, it’s not enough to work hard. It’s a big piece of it. Don’t get me wrong. You need to work hard, but you need to work smart, you know?
and when I work sales, you can sit there and you can call and you can dial that phone, 300 times in a day, and that’s great. That’s fine. you might get. 15 people who are interested, out of the 300 and you just spent your whole day doing it or you can recognize your audience.
Hey, I’m selling this product. I don’t have to waste my time with these individuals. I should be able to focus my time and my energy on this audience. so, so what I did. Sales, I worked a lot in academic communities, right? In educational systems. I was not going to be spending [00:29:00] as much time in smaller rural areas that have schools where, maybe the class size is 10 people, right? Simply because you’re, Your audience is so much smaller, you have less of a chance of attacking that. So, you prioritize, you strategize, right? You have to be smart and know where to target. You have to know your audience. And so now I would much rather go to a large metropolitan area where a district has, dozens of schools. there’s different challenges to both, right? And so, it’s just recognizing what you need to do. be smart. AI, It’s a great tool. I’ve seen dozens of people use it now where, you don’t have to write a whole thing, get your talking points, use AI, generate the rest, right? And so, it’s not enough to work hard. You have to work hard and work smart. Maximize efficiency. That is the key phrase, to be honest.
Jeffery Wang: Yep, and yeah, just recognize that there’s always a better way of doing things, and always look for the patterns, [00:30:00] and, I think that’s good advice.
alright, let’s move on, lesson number six, Network, Network, Network.

Lesson 6: Network, Network, Network

Jeffery Wang: Yep.
Codie Comeau: is one that, you know, it’s taught to you, but I think it’s not nearly stressed enough in life. Networking is. So vital in everything you do, whether it’s professionally, or personally, the, you, you need a strong social life, just as you need a strong professional life. Right? So, starting with the professional side of things, you know, there is a hierarchy to getting hired.
Right? This is. I will be the biggest cynic about the new way hiring gets done, where it’s done with AI, you have to have a resume for every individual job, you know, you have to use these action words, and all these different things, instead of just having your credentials, and letting the recruiter, take a look at it.
And even then, again, I forgot what the stat was, but it’s only like, you know, 5 percent of resumes will even reach the recruiter and they’ll even, and they only read the top section. They’ll only read that summary or they’re not going to read the whole thing. [00:31:00] And so, having those connections because it really is who you know, not necessarily what you know.
Most skills, and this is not something that you were taught, most skills, most jobs. are trainable. They don’t like to hear that, but you don’t have to go and spend 100, 000 at this crazy institute to get the best of a name brand education when you can go to a community college, learn the basics, and then the rest is taught on the job anyway. And now you’re, you know, going to start off, you know, 100, 000 in debt for something that you could have gotten for a fraction of the cost. Granted, it doesn’t have the same appeal as the, maybe the organization, like a Harvard. You’re still going to know the same stuff. But here’s where it becomes. When we’re looking at the hiring pyramid, at your top is always going to be internal hires. They’re always going to look inward, they’re going to look at people who are dedicated to their organization, who are familiar with it, and they’re going to start there. From there, they’re going to talk to the referrals, and this is where that networking comes in place, is having that strong network, right? Go on LinkedIn, see people who do the job you want to [00:32:00] do, talk to the recruiter, talk to people in that company, get your advice. Someone’s willing to put you up for that job and to say, yeah, I think this would be a good candidate for this position, and they’ll send that referral in. You’re immediately miles above everybody who does a general application, right? And only once you drop below that, it’s going to be your name recognition. So how well are you known as an individual? How well are you recognized in your position? Are you well known across the industry? Do you make a name for yourself? Then below that is going to be your institution’s recognition. This is where you have your Harvard’s, your Columbia’s, your Yale’s, these big names.
They say, oh, this is a credible institution. We should, Pick from this, and below that is now your general applications. So, when you’re looking in the grand scheme of things in this hierarchy, at least two of them, if not three, are going to come from networking, right? So, this is where being smart, network, know as many people as you can,
but make sure that you’re focusing on the ones who are going to get you somewhere, because to know someone random But if you have something in mind, if you want to be, you know, whatever position you, you [00:33:00] aspire to be in life, go talk to the people who know, find a mentor, find somebody who’s going to teach you the life lessons you need, and they will tell you the path to go, right?
They will help you. So, network in any way you can. Every social event. Online, whatever.
Jeffery Wang: and according to a wise man that we’ve heard from before, it’s not who you know, it’s who knows you. Yeah. and that work is about a lot more than just, you know, being known. I think it’s actually having the relationship to the people have a stake in, you know, helping you out as well.
So, yeah. Look, I think your preaching converted here, so, a hundred percent. Lesson number seven, understand money. Alright. What do you mean understanding money?

Lesson 7: Understand Money

Codie Comeau: Yeah. So, this is going to be one that’s very easy to get into right away. So, I’ll try to keep it brief.
This is part of that game.
and knowing how money works. Look, ever since the 1970s, where the US dollar came off the gold standard, and now we have it based on oil, we have the petrodollar, basically the United States went to a debt based [00:34:00] system and it just gave the U, the United States government the license to print as much money as they want, and that really hurts.
The average man, right? So, you need to understand how money works. You need to understand debt in the sense of good debt and bad debt. Most people believe that their house is an asset. In reality, it’s a liability. The only thing that is an asset is going to be making you money, right? So this is where you have your investments into real estate or your investments into, the stock market, you know, and so many different avenues here, but understanding, Good debt versus bad debt, because I’m going to let you in on a big secret and people hate to hear this, taxes help no one. right. So, here’s the reality, is that the money that the government takes, they’re just going to abuse it anyway. It never goes where it needs to go. And there’s this constant rallying cry for tax the rich. What I will tell you is it will never happen. When they say tax the rich, they’re not going to ever tax your Elon Musk, your Jeff Bezos, [00:35:00] granted they already pay, you know, a lot, but people say they should pay more, they should pay more.
It’s never going to happen, and the reason why is because that’s how it’s written in the tax code. It is meant to incentivize them to hire more people, to keep a booming economy, to take risks, right? How do you, how do they get so rich then? Well, that’s because they understand good debt versus bad debt. If you think any of them are getting a pay check in the mail every, every week, or every month, whatever, you’re wrong. It, cause that’s going to be taxed, right? What they can do is they can use that. And they say, well, I have this amount of stock options. You know, you’re not going to get taxed on this. I’m going to put this up as a collateral for, a loan. You take out a loan and now, you can pay that back cause you’re making your money consistently every month, regardless of your business. So that’s going to be paid off, but now you just got a huge chunk and it’s tax free, right? This is why so many real estate investors make their money, right?
Cause you can take out equity, you can do all these different things. And this is where I’m trying not to go down the rabbit hole. [00:36:00] Go do your research, go learn things from, Robert Kiyosaki is a very, Rich Dad Poor Dad was one of the best books I personally read because it changes the way you think about money.
You recognize the system in the rat race. You know, you’ll never, never reach financial freedom and have financial literacy if you’re simply working a nine to five and saving, And if I can just extend on this one last little bit here, let’s just talk about. Savings, right? Perfect inflation or perfect inflation in quotes is generally 2 percent year over year on average.
If you take 1, let’s just say you save 1, you put it into the bank, you know what that dollar is going to be worth next year? 98 cents, right? So, every year it’s going to depreciate. Your buying power is going to get less and less. So, you know, the hour that you worked for that dollar it means that it’s going to buy you less and less.
It’s going to be worth less in the future. This is why Roth IRAs are so great. It’s pre-tax. Taxes are only going to go up in the future. Your value of a dollar is only going to go down. You need to separate your time from your income. You need to [00:37:00] have passive income. You need to have money coming in when you’re sleeping.
You need to be making, you need to be putting in 1 and coming back with at least two, right? you can’t be just having this direct one to one. Oh, I’m going to work these many hours. I’m going to make this much money. I’m going to throw it in savings. Guess what? In 60 years, it’s going to be worth nothing compared to what it is.
You need to compound, right? Understand how money works. Yeah.
Jeffery Wang: need to make investment decisions, right? I like what you said, you know, it’s the stuff that gives you, constantly generates cash. But a really interesting observation a friend of mine made when he spent a bit of time living in the United States.
and it’s around the concept of understanding debt, you know, and, and like how people would just have very little sense when it comes to financial planning, spending money they don’t have, putting things on credit cards, you know, which is what you call bad debt, and it’s, it’s, you know, financial education is absolutely pivotal and I’d argue it’s probably not done very well, anywhere in the Western world,
there is a reason behind that. Look, I’m going to tell you, [00:38:00] government does not want you to understand money because now they’re going to be at a loss, right? The whole point of our educational system is to create good, obedient workers, not smart, educated individuals who are capable of critical thinking and understanding how money works.
Codie Comeau: Because when we talk about the fact that the United States is a debt based system, the way that that money becomes tangible for the government is through taxes, it’s through mortgages. It’s going to. Big ticket items where you’re paying your interest rate. All these different things. That’s how they abuse the system on you, the, the, the general public. So, you need to fight back. Now, I’m the biggest anti, you know, I don’t think there should be taxes outright.
Stay away from my money,
but it’s not really my money. Now, is it? Right?
So
Knowing how to make your money work for you, right? Don’t just go and hedge your bets on an Apple stock or anything because day trading is impossible, but recognize SPY, the top 500, right?
That perform, that’s constantly changing. The market always trends up. It might dip, it might go down, but it always, in the long scheme, goes up. [00:39:00] You know, VOO, QQQ, these index funds, recognizing things that follow the market, real estate, the value of homes, always goes up, unless, you know, something catastrophic happens to it. In general, the housing market as a whole always goes up in valuation. So, know your channels, you know, go do your own research. I’m not going to sit here and preach all these different things to anyone listening, but at the end of the day, go do your research, go read these books, go learn how to make your money work for you.
Because if you’re, irritated that Uncle Sam takes his greedy hand and sticks it in your pocket every month, it’s only going to get worse. And you’ll never reach that point unless you mix it up and you start making your money work for you. Right.
Jeffery Wang: Indeed. Now, um, yeah, that, that’s avoid going down the rabbit hole for how the system’s actually rigged and why it’s not,

Lesson 8: Facts Do Not Care About Your Feelings

Jeffery Wang: going to, um, work for the common man. But, uh, we’ve got to move on. Uh, lesson number eight. Uh, I like this one. facts do not care about your feelings.
Now, obviously this is a very famous quote, initially, I think attributed to Ben Shapiro, [00:40:00] isn’t it?
Codie Comeau: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And, you know, this one, a lot of people are not going to like this one and that’s okay, because the reality is no one cares about your feelings. Right?
You might think people do. And I
will be again, the biggest critic of this is that. We’re taught nowadays, oh, you’re so special, you’re so unique. You’re not. You’re one in eight billion people on this planet. You share a birthday with so many people. Like, there’s nothing special. You know, like in the grand scheme of things, maybe it’s a nihilistic look at it, but it’s not, it doesn’t affect it, right? Now, there, This can’t be confused with that. You should always be respectful.
You should always be polite. That’s just having good upbringing, good manners. That’s just human decency. But, if you think I’m going to go out of my way because something hurt your feelings, you’re wrong. You know, I don’t do it intentionally. I never will. No one does. A friendly Oh, it’s actually this.
Fine. That’s respectful. I’m more than happy to accommodate because I respect you as an [00:41:00] individual. But if you sit here and you think that the world needs to conform to you and how you believe things and the way that you, have this image of yourself, that’s pretty ignorant if you ask me, because you’re essentially saying the world needs to conform around you. That’s not how it works. Right. And so,
Jeffery Wang: How do we get to this point? Like, you know, I mean, this tends to be more of an issue with young, the younger generations, right? I mean, starting with the millennials, but it seems to have.
actually, gotten worse, hasn’t it?
Codie Comeau: there is a really interesting thing here, and I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole again, but when we look at the different generations, right, from Baby Boomers, and then we have, Gen X, and we have Millennials and Gen Z, when we look at the trends that happen, so you have, I believe it’s called the Key and Lock Generation, which was Gen X, right? This is the first generation where you have, both parents working. So, the kids come home from school, right? Hence, they go in with the key in the lock and they now are spending most of their times by themselves. so, so baby boomers raised Gen X [00:42:00] to be pretty strict, right?
It’s a, it’s a relatively old school way of parenting. Gen X is a little stricter. So now they are going to raise their kids with more leniency. Well, now we come back to the millennials who have this, which is where kind of a lot of this started off, I feel this, it was more about feelings rather than facts. Right? I feel offended. I feel hurt. I feel you should do this. All of these different things, right? And it was this constant piece of; I need to be recognized. I need to be acknowledged. and so, it goes on this whole thing. And then you have this being passed on to Gen Z where they’re like,
you’re so special.
that we give too much attention because they didn’t get enough.
And now it’s, you’re so special. You’re so unique. Like the world is your oyster and it creates these generational trends. But the reality is, is no one quite frankly cares. Like
at the end of the day, if people, if the people you hang out with are causing a problem for you, don’t hang out with them. That’s as simple as it is, right? Just hang out with the people that, that you want to hang out with. Don’t waste your breath on other folks. Like, it’s not worth your time. Facts do not care about your feelings. Statistics [00:43:00] and history does not care about your feelings. You’re you. Congratulations. You be you. Leave everybody else out of it because they’re not going to conform to it. So,
Jeffery Wang: So really, it’s just a case of, hey, get over it, move on.
Codie Comeau: pretty much.
Jeffery Wang: Well, okay. So, lesson number nine, life is not fair.

Lesson 9: Life Is Not Fair

Jeffery Wang: Get used to it. that’s a good segue. Yeah.
Codie Comeau: Yeah, it ties in very much. Look, you can sit here and you can complain, and you can, Trauma brag all you want and say, I grew up with this and I have this and that. You know what? Life’s not fair. All right. If we look at, the rates of single parents or criminal activity, when we look at a lot of these statistics, It looks like it’s going down the tank year after year.
Things are only getting worse. And you hear it all the time. Well, I can’t do this because I was born into this situation. It’s not fair. Well, you’re right. It is not fair. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to snap your fingers and change history? Are you going to close your eyes and, manifest really, really hard and next thing you know, everything’s going to change?
No. Life does not care about your feelings. It doesn’t. The world’s going to go on with or without you. So, you might [00:44:00] as well make the best of your situation. The fact that you have people around the world without running water, without having, suitable homes to live in, but you’re complaining because you know, couldn’t. I don’t know, get a new phone, the new iPhone 13, or you didn’t get this job that you really wanted, but you’re living in a home where you have food, you have a house, like, privilege in check, right? At the end of the day, too, you’re going to have people who have hundreds of billions of dollars, who grew up in a mansion, like, everyone has their own unique story. It’s not fair. Nothing’s ever going to make it fair. So, you have to just make the best of what you have, right? If you have lemons, make lemonade, as it always is said. You can’t, do anything else.
Jeffery Wang: No, well, there’s a lot of wisdom to that. and I think, you know, by the time you spent all your, energy complaining, you could be doing a lot better with your life.

Lesson 10 Know Your Story

Jeffery Wang: So, I like that. lesson number 10, know your story.
Codie Comeau: Yeah. So, this one kind of [00:45:00] comes full circle with all of these, because everyone in your life is going to have your own story, right? Whether it’s how you were born and raised, whether it’s how you came up, whether it’s your education, whether it’s your passions, it’s the experiences that you have. You have to know your own story, and you need to own it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the good. All of it, right? Not only do you have to own that, which is, you know, it has its own self-actualizing effect, but this is going to help you get ahead in life because you have to know your story, know why it matters, and you have to know how to get ahead.
Jeffery Wang: Well, tell us about your story. What do you mean by own your story What’s your story, Codie?
Codie Comeau: yeah, terrific question. So, if we’re talking my story, right, I was born to very young parents, both of whom are absolutely incredible, love them very much. They love me. I was very grateful to have two very caring parents, but they were separated, right? And that does lead to a series of challenges.
I do remember growing up and having different, times I’m [00:46:00] allowed to be at one parent or another’s, you know, you, you move back and forth. And there’s obviously challenges that come with that, We, you know, we moved around a lot because again, young, right? and I will stress this.
I am so proud of, of both of my parents for everything that they have, achieved and accomplished from, where we were to where we are now. You know, I remember being in a tiny little apartment that, wasn’t all that great admittedly, and now to them having, their own home, to them making good money, they worked their asses off quite frankly. and so. It’s challenging when you’re growing up in those situations. And so, to me, they always taught me, don’t make the same mistakes we did. go and do this. Go get a good education. Go learn. You know, I’m a first generation college student, and that was a big piece of it was having this influence of, hey, if you really want to get ahead, go and, get a good education.
Go and be smarter than we were. Go get a good job. Don’t make the mistakes we made. and so, Similarly, I wasn’t taught about money. Most people aren’t. They made their mistakes [00:47:00] and granted they taught me, you know, pay your bills and the standards, but they didn’t understand the way the system worked.
It took a lot of doing that own research on my own part. And, having these experiences growing up, I moved around a lot. I was the new kid in the neighborhood at one point, and you constantly want to fit in, but you also recognize pretty quick, hey, this is how this person is.
This is how this person is, and It’s all these little things that allow you to kind of grow up and, I think, thankfully, for better or worse, my individual story of how I came up allowed me to mature sooner. It allowed me to see the world in a different way. It allowed me to understand things that maybe not everyone understood, right, to have some of these challenges. And, you know, I’m grateful that everything that my, my family did. they worked hard. They figured it out. they laid the groundwork for me and now I can continue it further and hopefully pass it down into future, right? But having those experiences and the people that you meet and [00:48:00] there’s just so many elements to it, right?
Cause everything has
Jeffery Wang: perfect sense to me, Codie. you know, the fact that you were, there’s this constant shift, there’s all these environments you struggle to fit in.
I think it allows you to grapple, or you saw the world as it is, so it allows you to actually see the world as it is rather than the way you want it to be. So you’re not one of these, entitled millennials that thinks that the world should be bending to their will, but you kind of understood that, you know, kind of life sucks But you know, there are still things within your control and you grapple with it as it is So, so, um, you know, I think that explains a lot of how you came to be who you are today and you should be pretty proud of the What you’ve become because you know, I do believe that you are, wise beyond your years and, the way you see the world at such a young age, uh, and to see, to have such an insight on it.
I would say that that’s pretty impressive. What, what you’ve achieved so well done.
Codie Comeau: I appreciate that. Yeah, it definitely means a lot, and it’s from a lot of the work of the people around me. And, you know, [00:49:00] I’ve obviously enjoyed working with you guys that has a positive influence in recognizing different things. And you look at it all the time, right? but the side piece is not just recognizing. Know Your own story, but know how to make it work for you, right? Because at the end of the day, if you watch Shark Tank, you see it all the time. Well, tell us your story. How’d you come up with this? Or you watch America’s Got Talent. Every time there’s some sort of story before that leads to some sort of emotional connection to this individual. It works like that in the real world, too. That’s how you make connections. That’s how you make friends. That’s how, you know, every failed relationship teaches you a new lesson that you know not to repeat in the next one. So, when you, when you have. Your story, you can understand it, but make it work for you.
Know that when you go into a meeting, uh, if you know, somebody who, who grew up, say, who maybe did have separated parents, who did move around a lot, that’s now a connection that we have to say, hey, I’m trying to do what you did, right? I have that same aspiration to make something of myself.
We had that similar challenge. And now, again, Network, right? [00:50:00] Now you’re, you’re
that much higher up than where you could have been. And so, knowing your story is really an encapsulation of all of these lessons put into one, right? Is to figure it out as you go, but to recognize how it impacts you and to have that introspective look on.
Jeffery Wang: Love it. Love it. And more so than just knowing your story is owning your own story. And I think there’s a profound lesson in that, right? for the longest time, I just didn’t realize that I, I think I knew my story. What I didn’t realize. What I didn’t do, and this is part of living in a different culture, was to own that story, knowing that I could be accepted for exactly who I was.
You know, yes, you did, you know, you may not have come from privilege, but you didn’t need to. And in fact, if anything, it made you more than you are. I think owning that story is incredibly important, and I love how you do, you have owned your story, and I think you, you’d be better off for accepting who you are, and people would know exactly what you’re about.
So, thanks for sharing that. [00:51:00] And that concludes the 10 lessons. Now, usually we do throw in a curveball about what you’ve unlearned, but I think I’ll leave a couple more years before I come back to you for what you’ve unlearned in your life. But thank you for joining us today, Codie. It’s been an absolute pleasure talking to you.
Codie Comeau: Appreciate it. Thanks, Jeff. it’s a real pleasure to chat with you as well. I’m happy to be on this side for once and be able to share this, these lessons from my, albeit young, but experienced life.
Jeffery Wang: Well, thanks for that. And that’s all for today’s episode of 10 Lessons Learned. A big thank you to our guest, Codie Comeau, for sharing your incredible life and lessons. Now, thanks for our amazing team. Yi Wang, who manages our marketing, social media. Our producer, Robert Hossary.
this podcast is supported by the Professional Development Forum. For listeners like you, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s lessons. Drop us a line at podcast@tenlessonslearned.com. That’s podcast at one zero lessons learned.com. So, if you’ve enjoyed [00:52:00] the episode, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and turn on the notification so that you’ll never miss a lesson that could change your life.
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